(I think I'll give up on the whole "Day - #" thing. I haven't posted daily and not combined clips from multiple days since way back at the beginning - Mr. Silver)
8:27
AM Mr. Silver
So
yesterday was the lowest key Columbus Day I’ve ever seen.
8:28
AM Mr. Blue
Oh, that was yesterday... Mmm hmm, slipped right by.
8:28
AM Mr. Silver
I
guess all the true stories all over the net for the last several
years finally sunk in and no one likes him anymore.
8:28
AM Mr. Blue
Now
it's cool to bitch about Columbus.
8:28
AM Mr. Green
Yeah...
Columbus was a dick.
8:29
AM Mr. Blue
Kind
of a moron too.
Humans
knew the circumference of the earth in Roman.. maybe even Greek
times.
8:29
AM Mr. Silver
Greek
certainly.
Can't
recall if ancient Egypt figured it out...probably.
8:30
AM Mr. Blue
I’m
not sure. The libraries were burned anyway, so the history might not
have survived.
I
actually like the Columbus story if you portray it realistically.
As
the story of a kind of an inept guy looking for riches and willing to
enslave... an anti hero.
8:32
AM Mr. Silver
"So
I says to Isabella 'Hey, mass murder is OK in my book', and she says
'but who can we massacre and get away with it?'"
"'India!'
I tell her. "They aren't even Catholic there.'
'Sounds good', she says. 'Have some ships and go steal all
their stuff.'"
9:17
AM Mr. Silver
The
classic legendary tales confuse on 2 levels.
#1...everyone
with any brains or into math or sailing already knew the earth was a
sphere. Who is anyone of the “I'll prove the earth is round”
school kidding?
So
dumping that kiddie version and moving up...
#2...Columbus
had, or stole, or knew of a theory that crossing the Atlantic would
take him to the other side of Asia, where all those eastern goodies
like silks and exotic spices and stuff comes from. And he was
enough of a salesman that he got enough funding to launch what
amounted to a scout mission to see how far away it actually was,
because if it was at all practical, they could skip all the land
travel with it's dangers and tiny cargoes with their small profits.
It really was a great
idea!
So
he gets a few ships and heads southwest, based on where India should
be.
So
what the hell happened when he got to the Caribbean?
Did
he think he made it or did he realize he was nowhere close to his
goal?
9:29
AM Mr. Silver
At
what point did "establish high value trade route" turn into
"kill everybody who resists slavery...or for the fun of it...and steal
everything"?
9:32
AM Mr. Blue
I
think he died thinking he had reached some part of Asia.
9:32
AM Mr. Silver
Writing
BS memoirs in jail, yes.
(memories
of all this is a bit vague...I know that he did time after his "success"
for being such an a-hole.)
2:51
PM Mr. Silver
Yeah...a
fine collection of quotes in that article. Ugh.
12:12
PM Mr. Silver
(Four
days earlier in the Dallas Morning News) "Local Hospital Worker Receives Mysterious Gift Of
Round Trip Tickets To Cleveland!"
12:15
PM Mr. Silver
"The
tickets and $1000 in cash arrived in an envelope bearing the image of
an angel, and a note saying 'You and yours deserve this trip.
Have fun with it! Tour all the popular attractions! Give lots of hugs and kisses to all from me! - Azrael'."
1:08
PM Mr. Yellow
It's
the end of the world as we know it.
Hehe
So
if you do not hear from me in a couple weeks, the ebola got me.
1:21
PM Mr. Silver
Oh,
I expect you to post you impending doom, of course.
1:22
PM Mr. Yellow
Ok
1:22
PM Mr. Silver
Ebola
will make the ice bucket challenge fad look like a 9 day wonder.
1:26
PM Mr. Silver
Aww
maaaan...my sister is in Akron. She always gets to do
everything first...
1:29
PM Mr. Amethyst
Oh
Jesus fuck!
Mr.
Silver
"Lockheed
Martin Wants Suckers"
2:15
PM Mr. Blue
Why
would it be affordable?
Nothing
is stopping them from patenting the technology and charging an arm
and a leg for it.
Fusion
wasn't invented until 2050 in SIM City, anyway.
2:21
PM Mr. Silver
"The
innovative reactor consists of a project title and number, an image
of a cylinder marked Fusion Reactor, an inset empty box marked New
Containment Thing Goes Here, a line, and a lightbulb marked Unlimited
Energy. At the bottom is a tear away investment sheet asking for
investor information and a dollar amount."
LM
Team Leader "We're all very excited at the prospect of unlimited
funding here at Lockheed Martin. Unlimited energy, I
mean."
Mr.
Silver
Today
Show "Steals and Deals". Item 1 - a "shrug"
Me
"What the heck is a shrug?"
Woman
in breakroom "No idea. First I've ever heard of a shrug."
Me
"It appears to be nothing but a piece of fabric with 2 armholes
in it."
8:48
AM Mr. Brown
I
already shrug. Is that too plain a shrug?
8:48
AM Mr. Silver
Her
“Yeah."
TV
presenter "Ordinarily retails for $550, but this deal is for
$79! Great deal!"
Me
“Holy CRAP! I know what the 'steal' part of the deal is!"
I
need to get into fashion and market my "plain rag" concept.
8:54
AM Mr. Silver
(fauz
French accent) "Oui, of course eet iz a plain rag! this is
why I call it ze 'plain rag'. A steeel at $500!"
"I
want to see all the beautiful people of the world dressed in rags.
So I'm having a 80% off sale."
8:57
AM Mr. Silver
Nice...I
misspelled faux...corrected it...and misspelled it again.
10:17
AM Mr. Silver
"Putin
explained that Russia was very young at the time, the photos were
tasteful and of artistic merit, and the country was just trying to
make ends meet after the collapse of its union."
Russian
to French to English on Babelfish must turn the word extortion to
blackmail.
11:34
AM Mr. Silver
Late
at night at the Putin house. The phone rings, there's no caller ID.
"Hello? ... Hello?"
"...I saw your troops
in the Ukraine. I have pictures..."
"Who
is this? Where did you get this number. Wait...this is
the hotline phone. Barack?" (click)
7:13
AM Mr. Brown
The
anti poop has finally died.
Background
on that: for about a week or more my son had not let himself go.
7:14
AM Mr. Silver
The
foul demon has been expelled, eh?
7:14
AM Mr. Brown
Yep,
and all the little ones behind it.
LOL
7:14
AM Mr. Silver
That's
not really a good thing, waiting so long.
7:15
AM Mr. Brown
No.
He was afraid of the pain so would not let it happen.
7:15
AM Mr. Silver
I'd
be afraid of the septic shock death more than the pain...but that's
me.
7:15
AM Mr. Brown
From
what I read its common for children to do this and you can go quite a
while before its a issue.
7:29
AM Mr. Silver
Can't
go quite a while...
7:30
AM Mr. Silver
For
as much blood as was pouring out of my thumb Friday night, it sure closed up fast.
And
that was with a few ounces of rum in me.
I
was pumpkin carving and needed something a bit sharper than a carving
tool to cut out a section of my thumb...PUMPKIN...pumpkin, I mean.
When
I got a boffer wound to the knuckle of my thumb during Barbarian
Fight Club, it bled for 3 days and I earned a permanent scar.
Granted,
that event was dedicated to Thor...perhaps he wanted it that way.
That
was a little seepy thing...this knife wound was pouring out an ample
flow from a 1/4 inch chop.
5
minutes of pressure...done.
7:38
AM Mr. Brown
When
I was spitting blood that one time it stopped only because it swelled
shut.
7:45
AM Mr. Silver
Bleh
The
most horrible I ever saw was from Mrs. Silver. She had some
oral surgery and in the middle of the 1st night it just started
pouring out of her mouth. She looked like a Japanese ghost.
There
was about 10 minutes of gory panic and it stopped.
The
next morning she called the dentist.
"Oh
that's common, nothing to worry about."
"You
could have WARNED ME!"
8:07
AM Mr. Silver
Morning
Mr. Blue
This
morning was all about poop and blood.
Want
a catch-up?
8:13
AM Mr. Blue
Sure.
8:14
AM Mr. Silver
Sent.
8:14
AM Mr. Brown
Ouch
ouch ouch Poop BOOD
ARRRRg
8:14
AM Mr. Silver
Bood?
8:14
AM Mr. Brown
Oops
LOL
8:15
AM Mr. Silver
This
morning was all about oop and bood, Mr. Blue.
8:15
AM Mr. Brown
Apparently
Bood is a place in the Philippines. Population 2,397.
LOL
Also,
on Urban Dictionary it's defined as somebody that does nothing all
day or just forgets to call somebody over a long extended time
period.
8:17
AM Mr. Silver
“We
exchanged numbers last night...she said I can call her up anytime I
need to make a Bood call. Gonna wait a while though.”
