3:46 PM Mr. Silver
"Agents apprehended the suspect
after matching him with a tip that the perpetrator had a
near-perfect, 8" diameter, spherical head."
3:50 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
3:52 PM Mr. Silver
"Everett "Basketball"
Dutchke was taken into custody without incident by an FBI agent
utilizing a two-handed free-throw grip."
3:53 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
"He attempted to escape with a
double dribble scramble but officers used a post and guard technique
to stop him."
3:53 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
3:57 PM Mr. Silver
"Dutchke is also accused of
drawing fouls on his rival, Kevin Curtis, an Elvis impersonator who
'got no game'."
3:58 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahah
Mr. Mustard
“It was unclear how, but the
shooting produced panic in the square as people tried to flee.”
I would think a shooting anywhere would
cause panic and fleeing.
8:17 AM Mr. Silver
(Baffled)
What was that from?
8:17 AMMr. Mustard
2 policemen shot in Rome.
(Link)
(Note: All sources of this original
quote have been overwritten, so I removed the link – Mr. Silver)
8:26 AM Mr. Silver
"Roman citizens sat or strolled
idly in a busy city square as hail of gunfire injured two police
officers. A third victim, a woman walking down range,
shrugged off her bullet wound and continued to the nearby
cafe for an espresso."
8:26 AMMr. Mustard
Gotta have your morning espresso.
8:30 AM Mr. Silver
"Many seemed unaware or
uninterested in the danger. 'What's the big deal, the guy
wasn't shooting at me.' commented a potential witness, seated on a
bench not 10 feet from the incident. 'I didn't look up from my
crossword, so I can't tell you much.'"
8:31 AMMr. Mustard
You get better news than I do.
8:35 AM Mr. Silver
They never make these stories sarcastic
enough. I really have no choice but to liven them up.
Mr. Mustard
8:57 AM Mr. Silver
"Dear Abandoned, I'll be right
with you, I just have to check this thing on my phone."
(Lead-in too convoluted to edit –
Mr. Silver)
Mr. Blue
I can't believe people that get their
news from schizophrenics like Alex Jones can actually reach public
office.
9:16 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, I don't understand stuff like
that.
9:17 AM Mr. Blue
This is all great news if you dislike
Republicans, because they just look dumber and crazier every passing
day.
9:19 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, they are not making it any harder
to go towards all Democrats in office.
LOL
You keep looking at them, like, “Um
really? I'm going to pick the other-side guy now.”
LOL
9:22 AM Mr. Brown
Weiner wants to be mayor of NYC.
LOL
9:33 AM Mr. Silver
Get the ladies to vote with a "Women
Prefer Weiner" line of shirts, hats, and adult toys.
9:33 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
9:33 AM Mr. Blue
I suppose there have been worse things
politicians have overcome than just sending dick pics to women on the
internet.
Mr. Blue
Pterodactyls were pretty small. I'm
not sure why they got so popular.
11:22 AM Mr. Silver
The name, and flying.
11:22 AM Mr. Blue
A 5 foot wingspan? PSH
11:23 AM Mr. Silver
It's a little kid's first word with a
silent p on the front. An arcane secret!
And it's a dinosaur arcane
secret!
And it's a dinosaur...that FLIES!
Mr. Blue
I almost bumped into what's her face.
2:56 PM Mr. Silver
Which her face?
The elf?
2:56 PM Mr. Blue
She came out and went to turn in my
direction, then went the other way to the front of the building.
2:57 PM Mr. Silver
It's the pervert-torturer vibe you give
off...perhaps a change of shoes?
2:57 PM Mr. Blue
Not because of me. She was gawking at
her phone.
Probably best...I'm pretty sweaty.
There was no AC at the gym today.
2:58 PM Mr. Silver
Point of order, Amanda like smelling
your clothes.
2:58 PM Mr. Blue
Not after I came from the gym.
2:59 PM Mr. Silver
"Blue Spring Soap – Two odorants
for a fine French scent!"
3:00 PM Mr. Blue
That was weird.
3:00 PM Mr. Silver
?
3:00 PM Mr. Blue
She'd just bury her nose in my shirt in
the middle of groups of people for no reason.
3:00 PM Mr. Silver
Not weird to me – it would be
drenched in hormones.
3:04 PM Mr. Silver
The XXs have better noses and color
reception than us.
"Ugh" to you would be
"ugh...but nice ugh, my ugh, and no other girl's ugh is
on it" to her.
Sadly there's not much strategy that
can be used to exploit this instinct.
3:08 PM Mr. Silver
One can't exactly leave a used shirt on
a girl's desk with a photo and note saying "If you like the
smell, I'm the source."
"Local man arrested today in
bizarre 'Stinky Shirt Stalker' case."
3:08 PM Mr. Blue
There's probably a fine line between a
healthy musk and a rank BO.
It definitely wasn't my cologne though,
because she said my cologne reminded her of her boss (an old guy)
because he wore the same.
3:14 PM Mr. Silver
What we need is an elaborate 80s-movie
plan.
Have you had the dream sequence about
her yet?
Or what about the savage embarrassment
in front of her by the guys with feathered hair and cardigan sweaters
with the sleeves tied, then hung around their necks like a cape?
(I can't believe how many of those
things they made and fit into only 10 years...amazing.)
(Meanwhile, on the other side...he
just got hit on by a married woman on Facebook – Mr. Silver)
3:23 PM Mr. Blue
I remember going to their reception,
and she was all over basically every guy there (except me)
3:27 PM Mr. Silver
Apparently she was hoping you'd go all
King Kong and haul her off while smashing everything.
3:28 PM Mr. Blue
Maybe they have an arrangement, or
she's testing my loyalty to him...which I have none.
3:28 PM Mr. Silver
Grab her, Kong.
3:22 PM Mr. Blue
The scene where I get beaten up by
them, and then I’m slumped up against the lockers, everyone
disperses, and she comes and asks if I’m OK? Then she says
Biff/Rick/Tad "can be a real jerk sometimes"?
3:22 PM Mr. Silver
Yeah, that one.
3:24 PM Mr. Blue
I don't watch South Park much, but they
have an 80's ski movie parody episode. Pretty hilarious.
It incorporates a lot of 80s teen movie
cliches into one, where everything is decided on some stupid
race or contest. They even "get the girl" after winning
the ski race. Of course they're kids, so they didn't want the girl
in the first place, nor did they even want to race.
3:39 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
I didn't see that one.
Lot of race/competition ones...not all,
of course
I vaguely recall liking this one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Admirer
Perhaps it was because I was secretly
admiring Lori Loughlin...yum.
3:43 PM Mr. Blue
That's a very 80s cast, for sure.
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
Written new, and with 80s goofiness,
but seemed very "French". Even suspected it was a remake
of a better film.
3:54 PM Mr. Silver
Anyway, if we take this as a model, you
should write a crap love letter to the other guy's wife who hit on
you, and then ask the elf to proof it for you.
Yadda yadda yadda – in a few days you
end up kissing each other in Lake Arthur.
9:21 AM Mr. Silver
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/28/brit-hume-the-country-may-be-ready-for-another-bush-presidency/
"Brit Hume tells Americans to
their face that he believes they are naïve gullible morons."
"Own mom nixes Jeb Bush candidacy
with passive-aggressive quips."
9:23 AM Mr. Blue
The Fox News business model is based
off that very mantra:
"Let's not report anything factual
when we want something. Let's just spew what 40% of the population
wants to hear.”
9:24 AM Mr. Silver
Morning, Mr. Amethyst.
9:24 AM Mr. Amethyst
Yo
9:24 AM Mr. Blue
The Daily Show had a good montage of
Fox and conservatives saying that the 2nd amendment is sacred,
untouchable, etc. and then backpedaling on other amendments and
suggesting Dzokhar does not deserve basic rights, we should be
allowed to wire-tap mosques, and women shouldn't be allowed to wear
hijabs.
9:24 AM Mr. Silver
Hehe
(Office supply store, Washington DC)
"Do you have parchment colored Wite-Out? Like...Parchment-Out?
We have these perfect, sacred, untouchable historical documents that
don't say what we believe they say, have parts that need changed
because the infallible writers didn't say them the right way, and some of the stuff is inconvenient."
9:27 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Mr. Amethyst
So I switched my living room and my
bedroom.
9:43 AM Mr. Silver
Translation "Get out! Go sleep on
the couch!!!"
9:43 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
I moved almost all the furniture.
There's lots more room in the new
living room now.
9:46 AM Mr. Silver
Of course, guests to the home are now
greeted by dirty clothes draped over the furniture and socks and
underwear on the floor.
"Let's head through to the living
room. Can I get you a drink?"
12:05 PM Mr. Blue
I suck at golf and therefore hate it.
12:05 PM Mr. Silver
Golf is just like hockey. It's just
that it's 400 yards to get to a tiny goal and there's no one in the
way trying to block you. Just play on those summer ski/skate
things.
12:05 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
12:06 PM Mr. Silver
Oh that's right...you're a defense
player.
How about just check the other golfers
and smack their balls back up the fairway?
12:06 PM Mr. Blue
lol
