Friday, May 9, 2014

Day 292 - There's Over The Top & Then There's "Over The Top", Hall Hister!, A Minor Unpleasant Element Of The Flight 370 Mystery, The Wheel Of Karma Rolls Over Mr. Green, and One Hot Bitch

2:13 PM Mr. Blue
Oh... I watched "Over The Top" last night.
2:13 PM Mr. Silver
Brain full of holes, by any chance?
2:13 PM Mr. Blue
It was really not that bad...but not good either. It's just kind of pointless. The kid in it was surprisingly good as far as acting goes.
It was about as good as I’d expect a movie centering on unsanctioned arm wrestling would be.
2:14 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah, its not bad.
2:16 PM Mr. Silver
"Finally, a film to represent the .001% of us interested in competitive arm wrestling."
2:16 PM Mr. Blue
It's like taking some low budget schlock action movie, but adding in guys that can actually act (Stallone, Loggia, the kid) and they kinda save it.
So you end up watching for the performances, not really the story or action, which is kind of the opposite of what an action movie should be.
Two guys sitting at a table holding hands isn't very action-packed.
Replace the arm wrestling with any other kind of martial art and you'd have had a better movie, but then I guess it would be too much like “Rocky”.
2:19 PM Mr. Brown
Exactly!
LOL
Or beer games.
Replace everybody in “Beerfest” with the actors from “Over The Top”.
LOL
2:20 PM Mr. Blue
Heh
2:22 PM Mr. Blue
The movie has way too many 80s montages too. I think there were at least 3.
2:22 PM Mr. Brown
“Gettin Tough”
It's almost a parody.
2:22 PM Mr. Blue
Its like the script was for a comedy, but Stallone got a hold of it and played it straight.
2:23 PM Mr. Blue
Oh and he's a truck driver, but for some reason he only delivers stuff to like...national parks.
He's never on some highway. He's at like.. Grand Tetons... Monument Valley... Yosemite...
2:23 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
2:25 PM Mr. Blue
"Hey, we got an order in from Omaha. They need a shipment by Tuesday."
"Sorry, I only deliver via scenic byways."
2:26 PM Mr. Brown
“We got something for Muscle Beach.”
“I'll take it.”
2:27 PM Mr. Silver
They should cast him in a film about "Desert Bus"
2:28 PM Mr. Blue
"When you get there, do some pullups as the sun sets."
2:28 PM Mr. Brown
Song “Getting Tough” playing while lifting weights in the truck on the way to Muscle Beach.
2:29 PM Mr. Silver
Heh...I can picture him on a bench in the cab...scenery going by in the windows.
2:30 PM Mr. Blue
"I’m just your typical, blue collar American trucker."  *takes shirt off revealing chest striations and 8 pack abs."
Yes! He literally has weights in his cab that he uses while he drives.
A pulley-type setup to mimic arm wrestling.
2:31 PM Mr. Silver
I like it.
Has to pull the horn by slamming his arm in a shoulder rotation down onto the dash.
2:33 PM Mr. Blue
That's what you want! You want to be struggling with a heavy dumbbell as you drive a 10 ton truck with your free hand.
2:37 PM Mr. Silver
And while lifting, he makes all the big links on his runs: Grand Canyon, Washington Monument, St. Louis Arch, USS Arizona Memorial...
(Stallone) "I deliver America."
(stock guy checks clipboard) "It says tongue depressors on here." (flips page) "Or tampons...are you the tampon guy?  You're early." 
"I said I deliver Amer-... ...yeah... yeah, I'm the tampon guy..."
2:40 PM Mr. Blue
Hehehe
2:41 PM Mr. Silver
"You'll have to carry them in the front...loading dock door is broken."
(when trucking to the USS Arizona isn't funny, hit as low as you can go...)
2:44 PM Mr. Blue
I didn't get that at first; do now.
2:44 PM Mr. Silver
Whew!
Good!
2:45 PM Mr. Blue
He actually delivered Brut cologne.
An egregious example of product placement.
2:46 PM Mr. Silver
"Yo.  I got two pallets of product that need placement in your warehouse."
2:47 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
Have you ever seen a whole truck for cologne? I'm pretty sure nobody's ordering Brut by gross tonnage.
2:48 PM Mr. Silver
"Yo! I have New Jersey's state supply of Brut here.  Where do I sign?" 
"Here you go."
"Thanks.  I'll unhook.  See you in 3 months."
"Hold it...this says New York's in in here."
"Wull, yeah, but it's just like 20 miles to the-"
2:50 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
2:50 PM Mr. Silver
"You tryin' to pull a fast one on us?  Thinking maybe we'll finish your run if we signed off?"
2:50 PM Mr. Blue
Actually, I don't recall him ever actually delivering a shipment anywhere.
He just kind of drives around with it.
Maybe its some kind of money laundering scheme for the mafia.
2:51 PM Mr. Silver
Drives a shipment but never delivers, eh? Kind of like the Flying Dutchman, huh?
2:51 PM Mr. Silver
People see and smell the truck, but it never finishes the run.
"I just wanna go home, but the curse is to drive Brut on scenic routes all over the country until I can win 100 souls arm wrestling."
"Did you make a deal with the Devil?"
"Is Unilever the Devil?"
"Possibly."
"Then yeah."
"What did you get for the deal?"
"Brut"
"Like...a bottle?"
2:56 PM Mr. Blue
"I had Norma Jean in the back seat of my 57 Chevy and was stinkin' from gym class! I was desperate! I said I'd give my SOUL for a bottle of Brute and a case of Coors and the Devil appeared.”
*looks off onto horizon*
"Norma Jean said I smelled like cheap cologne and BO and left before I could even slip my hand under her shirt."
*single tear runs down face*
2:52 PM Mr. Silver
"You suck."
"Wanna arm wrestle?"
"NO!"
"Damn."
3:06 PM Mr. Blue
Probably the highlight of the movie is Hagar's 'Winner Gives All'.
err.. 'Winner Takes All'.
3:06 PM Mr. Silver
I'd like to hear 'Winner Gives All'



8:15 AM Mr. Amethyst
I’m sorry?
This woman says her name is "Lakey" like a lake, but it’s spelled Leaky.
8:18 AM Mr. Silver
I had a client pronounced "Rice", spelled Reich.
"Sag Hall, ma'am..."
8:18 AM Mr. Amethyst
lol
8:19 AM Mr. Silver
"Is that listed under Dolf Hister Rice the 3rd?"



9:55 AM Mr. Blue
The top story on CNN is that the pilot of Flight 370 deleted some stuff off his flight simulator at some point.
Yes, nobody *ever* deletes anything...very suspicious.
9:56 AM Mr. Amethyst
Maybe he accidentally crashed trying to do a loop in a 747 and didn’t want anyone making fun of him.
9:56 AM Mr. Silver
"Honey?  It’s late!  Are you playing your flight simulator again?" 
"(quickly clears history, closes browser) Yes!"
9:57 AM Mr. Amethyst
Hahaha
That’s what I was gonna say!
"Just taking off now, dear!"
9:57 AM Mr. Silver
(after disappearance) Mrs. Pilot "He was up for hours playing his flight simulator the night before they disappeared."
Pilot’s Friend "Hmmm...better check that computer."
10:03 AM Mr. Silver
Pilot's Friend "There's no record he was playing it...hmm...must have deleted all records of it...hmm (digs deeper...finds out friend's critically embarrassing fetishes...clears) Uh...nope...must have been something suspicious with his simulator...yup."
(later at the bar) "All those people lost already...no need to bring up the rubber midget spanking poop stuff to soil his memory in the press."  (all his buddies grumble agreement)
"So...uh...what was the site he was on?"
"Jebus Dave!  Really?"
"What?  Just wondering."



Mr. Green
I have taken like a million IT calls here... no human being should have to suffer through that... I have to straighten my karma out...
1:46 PM Mr. Silver
I think this is indicative that it IS straightening out.  Whatever did you do in a past life to deserve this?
1:46 PM Mr. Green
I'm guessing I was either Hitler or Stalin, judging from the karmic backlash to this point.
1:51 PM Mr. Gray
I'd guess Stalin...he was hairier.
The Nazis were better dressers as well.
1:56 PM Mr. Green
I would have to agree.
2:01 PM Mr. Yellow
Pol Pot?
Hitler is estimated to have killed between 5 and 17 million
Stalin 3 and 8
Those seem a bit high to have working here as a punishment.
Maybe more like Francisco Nguema: 20 - 80 thousand.
2:43 PM Mr. Silver
Sign: ["Higher Realm Karmic Assignments Counseling Dept"]
(Agent) "We've run your numbers...considered your preferences…and the system suggests one of these two paths.”
“#1 - Abused woman in Bangkok slum, used up and dead by 23.”
“Or #2 - Katzenjammer IT Guy.”
(Green's soul) "Man... My last life wasn't THAT bad, was it?"
(Agent)  "Well..."
(Green) "#2 I guess...the other sounds awful."
2:44 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
2:45 PM Mr. Silver
(Agent) "You'd like to think so.  Are you sure you don't want to read these before you pick?  Because-"
(Green) "No way."
(Agent) "Okay.  Sign here."
2:47 PM Mr. Green
LMAO



9:59 AM Mr. Green
10:01 AM Mr. Yellow
Yes, but the whole state is not F-d up.
LOL
10:13 AM Mr. Silver
"Authorities admit it is a very attractive dog that they themselves wouldn't mind getting to know better."
10:14 AM Mr. Green
Ba-dum, chisssshhh!
10:15 AM Mr. Silver
I’ve been saving that one since yesterday in case someone else put up the story...I wasn't going to.
10:15 AM Mr. Green
LOL
10:16 AM Mr. Yellow
LOL
Hey man, the dog was asking for it.
10:16 AM Mr. Silver
Total bitch.
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