Mr.
Silver
"Space
Exploration Community Sets Self Up for Crushing Disappointment in
March"
Awful
lot of the word "might" being used in this article.
"We're
very excited because there is a possibility that Ceres 'might' be
interesting."
8:17
AM Mr. Silver
(The
Old Man) "My God! There could be anything on there!"
8:20
AM Mr. Blue
Precious
metals... organic matter... an ice cream stand...
Anything.
8:20
AM Mr. Brown
We
believe its a dwarf planet, that on the weekends is an asteroid.
8:20
AM Mr. Silver
(The
Old Man) "Ah stair oid keh-rez...must be Italian."
8:20
AM Mr. Blue
Just
tell deBeers there's diamonds on it and tag along with them.
8:21
AM Mr. Brown
(Singing)
“Might be a rock chunk to-night...”
(To
the tune of “Might be a Lady”)
8:24
AM Mr. Blue
“Luck
be a Lady”
8:24
AM Mr. Brown
I
like to sing “it might be a lady tonight”. Seems funnier.
8:26
AM Mr. Silver
I agree.
"I've
confirmed a large dark lifeless lump is out there: Thinking of naming
it after a fertility goddess."
"Funny."
8:27
AM Mr. Brown
Hmm.
I see on the scope there is a something floating out there. It's
brownish in color and well... it looks like a piece of shit.”
8:27
AM Mr. Silver
"Dwarf
planet? Please...these days they prefer to be known as 'little
planets'."
8:32
AM Mr. Silver
"Also
submitted in the naming contest were 'It's Just a Rock', and 'The
Dingleberry'...
8:33
AM Mr. Brown
Also
submitted, "Asteroid: Might-be-Important", and "Dwarf
Planet: Big-Waste-of-Money"
Mr.
Mustard
How
about this story? “89 year old beats 86 year old room mate to
death with 2 pound magnet”
11:09
AM Mr. Silver
"He
always found him attractive..."
11:10
AM Mr. Mustard
“Were
trying to iron out some problems..."
11:12
AM Mr. Silver
"Their
opinions during the preceding argument got rather polarized."
There
a link to that story?
11:13
AM Mr. Mustard
Mr.
Silver
There
was talk about this yesterday.
Should
The New England Patriotic Cheaters be bounced from the Superbowl?
"Ballghazi"?
That's what they're calling this?
At
least "-gate" refers to an actual scandal.
Anyway...
12:58
PM Mr. Blue
If
you're caught cheating in a game, I don't know why you wouldn't
forfeit that game.
12:58
PM Mr. Silver
As
we were watching the pundits, I posed the question - "For what
stupid reason is the NFL even letting teams maintain their own
balls?"
Does
MLB give each team their own special bucket of balls? Or is there
just a pile of balls the umpire hands them?
12:59
PM Mr. Blue
Yep.
The
NHL keeps all pucks in the penalty box area.
12:59
PM Mr. Silver
"We'd
like to have our own dozen balls per game..."
"So...for
cheating?"
"Uh..."
1:00
PM Mr. Blue
*shifty
eyes*
*pulls
on shirt collar*
1:00
PM Mr. Silver
"Because,
I mean...it's football...you can't lose a football at a pro
game...and it takes, like, an elephant to break one. So why do you
need 12?"
"Uh..."
"Except
for, like...cheating."
"Uh..."
1:01
PM Mr. Blue
*clothing
is now drenched in sweat*
1:03
PM Mr. Blue
What
if they replaced the game balls with those Nerf footballs with the
spiral tails on them that whistle?
1:05
PM Mr. Silver
I
like it!
I
also questioned the value of a deflated ball.
Wouldn't
the QB and team have to spend an awful lot of time on practicing with
low pressure balls, at the risk of replacement anytime, to be any
good with them?
1:10
PM Mr. Blue
I
don't know what kind of game either team plays, but maybe a team that
runs the ball more than throwing it would have an advantage with
deflated balls.
Mr.
Blue
India
had to pay people to keep the monkeys away with sling shots during
Obama’s visit.
I
think that's the very definition of 3rd world country.
11:33
AM Mr. Brown
Yep!
LOL
They
could have just given the monkeys all cigarettes; they would have
left him alone then.
11:34
AM Mr. Blue
(Jeff
Foxworthy voice) “If you gotta pay people to keep the monkeys away
with slingshots...you might be in a 3rd world country.”
11:34
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:34
AM Mr. Blue
“If
half your country is barefoot and the other half wears sandals...you
might be in a 3rd world country.”
11:35
AM Mr. Amethyst
“If
listeria is the flavor of your water...you might be in a 3rd world
country.”
11:35
AM Mr. Blue
Heh
“If
your citizens think the 90's Buffalo Bills are the greatest NFL team
of all time...you might be in a 3rd world country.”
11:36
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:37
AM Mr. Brown
“If
you don't eat cows...you might be in a 3rd world country.”
11:42
AM Mr. Blue
“If
dirt is a condiment,...you might be in a 3rd world country.”
“If
you have more coup d'etats than you do elections...you might be in a
3rd world country.”
11:45
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:46
AM Mr. Brown
“If
your bathroom breaks result in shit in a bucket...well, you know...”
11:47
AM Mr. Blue
"There's
yer sign!"
11:48
AM Mr. Brown
“If
getting drinking water is the most dangerous part of your day...you
might be in a 3rd world country.”
11:50
AM Mr. Blue
“If
the ticks and leeches are better nourished than you are...you might
be in a 3rd world country.”
11:50
AM Mr. Silver
"If
the sight of a full set of clean white teeth is disturbing...you
might live in a 3rd world country."
11:52
AM Mr. Silver
"If
you have any use for chicken bones...you might live in a 3rd world
country."
11:56
AM Mr. Brown
"If
the sight of bugs makes your stomach growl with hunger not throw up
in disgust...you might live in a 3rd world country."
12:11
PM Ms. Rose
Happy
“Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, all!
12:11
PM Mr. Brown
If
you live in a 3rd world country, bubble wrap is created by the gods.
12:12
PM Ms. Rose
Well,
that was incredibly fast for my parade to be rained on.
1:18
PM Ms. Rose
"...some
could be tempted to climb the sign and take a selfie."
1:24
PM Mr. Blue
It
should have said "Our prices are SUICIDAL!"
1:24
PM Mr. Silver
"Iowa
Bans Giant Mannequin Billboard Technique Used in Other States for 70
years."
“The
governor stated that reason for the ban was that the general
population of Iowa was too over-sized, dull and stiff to recognize the
difference between the mannequins and living Iowans."
1:29
PM Mr. Blue
They'll
flip their shit when those inflatable balloon guys make it to Iowa.
1:29
PM Ms. Rose
HA!
1:29
PM Mr. Silver
“Demons!”
1:30
PM Mr. Blue
(911
dispatch) "Caller reports a giant yellow man gyrating his hips
suggestively toward oncoming traffic."
1:38
PM Mr. Silver
(talking
head on Des Moines evening news) "New reports indicate that the
alien creature appeared to be 25' tall and shaped like giant red
sausages. It had no apparent legs, but at least 100 tentacles at each
hand and around the mouth, which seemed to be at the top of the head.
It was thrashing wildly and appeared to be set on eating a used John
Deere tractor at a farm vehicle dealership."
1:40
PM Mr. Blue
"The
alien creature provided little resistance and was taken into police
custody."
1:41
PM Ms. Rose
"Prior
to capture, citizens were instructed not to take selfies with said
alien creature after the rash of mannequin-billboard-selfie plummeting deaths
last year."
