Saturday, October 5, 2013

Day 272 - Dreams Of The SS Sultana II, Mr. Brown Seems Briefly Hip, The USA Needs To Establish An America, Alien Ant Hills, "Doing Debbie On 72 Cents A Day", Pirates Of The Alpine Main, and Some Evidence Of What Dan Wants

Mr. Gray
12:13 PM Mr. Blue
Let’s build a Hindenburg replica too!
And rebuild the Tacoma Narrows Bridge!
12:14 PM Mr. Gray
I'd like to see more Zeppelins, actually.
Air travel in comfort.
12:15 PM Mr. Silver
Can we have all three crash onto the Adrea Doria II?
12:18 PM Mr. Blue
Replace modern concrete dams with earthen replicas.
12:19 PM Mr. Silver
I agree.  They’d be much better for the environment after everything downstream is washed away. 
(Ok, I'll explain this one's title. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Sultana - Mr. Silver)



8:38 AM Mr. Brown
cool femisits topless jump on run way
grab one of the models by the arm try to lift her dress yelling stuff
the modle punches her square in the nose
8:41 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Brown, was that “beat” poetry?
8:42 AM Mr. Brown
Huh?
8:43 AM Mr. Silver
Picture a smoky room, coffee drinkers in black clothes, a bass strumming, bongo drums, perhaps some flute. Mr. Brown steps out of the shadows and up to the microphone.
“cool feminists
“topless
“jump on
“run
“way
“grab one of the models by the
“arm
“try to lift her
“dress
“yelling
“stuff
“the model
“punches her
“square
“in the nose
Mr. Brown fades back into the shadows.  Everyone starts snapping their fingers
8:43 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
I did not see that til you said something.
LOL
That would work.



Mr. Silver
7:56 AM Mr. Green
Wow... How can people that dumb still exist in the 21st century?
7:58 AM Mr. Silver
I don't know.
I was wondering about the possibility of a reservation for them, or a purge.
7:59 AM Mr. Green.
Purge... Definitely in favor of a purge.
7:59 AM Mr. Silver
"We don't care where you go but you can't stay here."
8:06 AM Mr. Silver
"One of your options is to move to "America".  Basically we've taken an area of the United States of America - what our country is actually called if you'd paid attention in school - and set it aside for people like you.  You can move to “America” and stay there and do whatever you want, including loving it.  Leaving it would be pending a psychological review."
8:31 AM Mr. Blue
"Freedom Camps"



Mr. Brown
I was reading a lot about types of aliens yesterday. Almost all them live underground on Earth.
9:38 AM Mr. Brown
It makes me think; how could that work and why can't people come up with better ideas?
9:38 AM Mr. Blue
That way we can't see them.
Its the perfect cop-out.
9:38 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, but if it was true, how do you have aggressive lizards and 12 ft aliens living under the same ground? LOL
9:40 AM Mr. Silver
This is rather a lot of underground on this planet.
I've always wondered where the people who dig these mountain cities for aliens were putting all the rock and clay while no one was noticing.
9:40 AM Mr. Amethyst
Yeah, Mr. Brown
9:41 AM Mr. Blue
They vaporize it.
9:41 AM Mr. Silver
"Hey Ned.  Was there two mountains there before?”
“Didn't think there was. Gimmie a Bud.”
9:49 AM Mr. Silver
(CAT man to Exxon man in the middle of nowhere, stuck at odds at a crossroad) "So...you just happened to get an order for 4 million gallons of diesel to just be dropped off in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming...exactly where we were to deliver all these heavy excavating vehicles?"




10:23 AM Mr. Silver
So...late the other night...
I found and watched a classic film after remembering a strange "Dog of the Week" review on "At the Movies" with Siskel & Ebert.  And I learned a bit of classic film trivia for you that may serve you one day.
Debbie, in fact, does not do Dallas.
10:25 AM Mr. Brown
She was just there?
10:25 AM Mr. Silver
Dishes yes...I found that out in college.  But not Dallas.
10:25 AM Mr. Silver
She was never in Dallas.
10:26 AM Mr. Amethyst
Poor Dallas!
10:26 AM Mr. Silver
Or Texas.
10:26 AM Mr. Brown
Oh dang!
10:26 AM Mr. Silver
The whole thing was about bus fare and hotel costs.
I was thinking we'd run across a character named Dallas before the end...no such luck.
10:31 AM Mr. Silver
It could be titled "Debbie and Her Friends Accept Jobs That Don't Give Them Paychecks"
10:32 AM Mr. Brown
You can't even read about it on wikipedia here.
lol
I was going to read the story line.
10:34 AM Mr. Silver
Wanna hear it?
10:34 AM Mr. Brown
So they are just trying to make money to get to Dallas?
10:34 AM Mr. Silver
Yes.
10:34 AM Mr. Brown
But fail.
10:35 AM Mr. Silver
No. Success is implied.
She got a tryout for the "Texas Cowboys" cheerleaders (lord knows why, they were all awful cheerleaders and "16") and they all want to go support her, but they don't have the money.
So they all "form a company" and get jobs so they can pool their resources.
10:38 AM Mr. Silver
The jobs apparently don't pay...well...anything, on reflection.
After a couple weeks, they apparently still can't afford bus tickets and a hotel night.
10:42 AM Mr. Blue
There's an actual plot to “Debbie Does Dallas”?
Where's it taking place if not Dallas?
10:43 AM Mr. Brown
In the 70s, it was a good plot.
10:43 AM Mr. Silver
It turned out that for a flash, a touch and a kiss to the boobs, Debbie can get $40.
"But Debbie...that's more than a 3rd of what we made so far."
Me "WHAT!?!?  How much are all these girls getting paid?  There's like 8 of them!?!"
10:45 AM Mr. Brown
Do the math ladies.
10:45 AM Mr. Silver
All 8 had made, what, $10 each at work?  And they're "16" so it's not like they're blowing anything on food and rent.
Hehehe
11:12 AM Mr. Silver
This is a lesson for you girls just starting out...hold out for a full 10 cents an hour.
Work hard, and come raise time, you might get 2 cents more instead of 1!
11:16 AM Mr. Silver
Anyway, they sell themselves for basically $10-25 each for the rest of the movie to have it on with guys that look like Howard Stern from his younger scenes in “Private Parts”.
11:16 AM Mr. Blue
Heh
(For anyone who cares, the minimum wage in 1978 was $2.65 - Mr. Silver)



3:40 PM Mr. Blue
3:40 PM Mr. Silver
Saw that.  Cool
3:41 PM Mr. Blue
I'd have kept some at least
3:42 PM Mr. Silver
(Captain Kidd) "Arrr...the Crown will never find it up h'yere, lads.  Weigh the anchor!  Prepare to precipitously tumble off!"
3:42 PM Mr. Blue
lol
3:43 PM Mr. Brown
Ice pirates!
3:44 PM Mr. Blue
(sings) "15 men on a receding glacier!"
3:45 PM Mr. Silver
"How'd he get the Adventure Prize up there anyway?"
"Well...it was a pretty rainy year."



9:53 AM Mr. Silver
"There's only 8 messages in there but none of them will delete...2 read and 6 unread.  It's all porn and matchup junk.  I don't want any of that sh-!" 
"Yet you opened 2 of them, Dan..."
"..."
9:53 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL

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Monday, September 30, 2013

Day 271 - A Bag Of Weed, Everyone Has Clearance But The Tourists, and Double-O Fitness Standards

(Another short one.  Call it silly but although it's all I have on hand for entries, it's also the last day to hit a nice new hits record for a month.  How about a few of you link this to Facebook or something - Mr. Silver)
12:26 PM Mr. Silver
Mrs. Silver emailed me this:
“Kiss. I did two bags of weeds. sighs”
But, I fist read it as: "I did two bags of weed.  Sigh"
12:27 PM Mr. Amethyst
LMFAO
Reply "YOU DIDNT SHARE!?"
lol
12:27 PM Mr. Brown
Response: “Why didn't you tell me we had two bags of weed?”
12:27 PM Mr. Silver
"Wow! When my wife takes up a new hobby, she goes for broke!"
12:27 PM Mr. Amethyst
Mr Brown's is better than mine.
LOL and Mr. Silver wins...as always...
Its not fun competing against genius.
12:28 PM Mr. Brown
Next email from her: "Can you bring home 30 cheese burgers please?"
12:29 PM Mr. Silver
HEHEHE
12:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
“And 4 gallons of Arizona Tea”



(Discussing spies – Mr. Silver)
3:06 PM Mr. Blue
There was a building in London that was completely without any labels or visible entrance, and took up an entire block right along the Thames.
3:07 PM Mr. Silver
The Lego Factory?
3:07 PM Mr. Blue
I found 1 single stone in the masonry that just said MI6 in a New Roman-ish font.
It must have been their old HQ, because the new one is very prominent and very well labeled.
3:07 PM Mr. Brown
Its a decoy.
LOL
3:08 PM Mr. Blue
Or the new shiny glass building is a decoy.
3:08 PM Mr. Brown
That’s what I’m thinking.
The MI6 is written on the one so the agents don't forget the other is fake.
LOL
3:09 PM Mr. Silver
There is no London.
It's all a mock-up that MI6 is hidden under.
3:10 PM Mr. Blue
Just 14 million actors.
3:10 PM Mr. Silver
All agents.
3:10 PM Mr. Blue
What if you are all actors and I’m the only real person?
3:12 PM Mr. Silver
(Whispers into coffee cup) "Ops. We have a Code Puce on subject: Mr. Blue. Please advise."


3:20 PM Mr. Blue
Roger Moore was a student of the Robert Mitchum fitness method.
"Pull your pants up, suck your gut in, and puff your chest out. Boom! You're intimidating."
3:22 PM Mr. Blue
I understand physical fitness wasn't that big in the 60s and 70s but damn...one of the top secret agents should be in better shape than me, at least.
3:23 PM Mr. Silver
The physical fitness tests for 00 agents back then involved alcohol and smoking tolerances.
3:23 PM Mr. Blue
Possibly even sexual prowess and stamina.
3:23 PM Mr. Silver
True.
3:24 PM Mr. Silver
Q - "This way, recruit.  Bond isn't it?  Lose the pants, please."
"You're joking."
"Q - "We never joke here, Bond.  Pants."
(Bond drops trou.)
Q - "Right.  Pick a color."
"A pants color, Q?"
Q - "A hair color, Bond."
"...Black?"
Q - "Please enter the door marked 'Level 5'...good luck."
(Bond disappears through door. Door lock clicks. Whip crack...Bond yelps)
"Dirty boy!  Give me the microfilm!" (whip crack)
"(pounding on the door) Q!  M!  Open the d- Excuse ME, miss! What do you think-”
“(slap!) Where have you hidden the microfilm! Is it...here?”
"Don't squeeze tha-OooOOooo..."
M (strolling away with Q) - "Did this recruit, Bond, have any previous tier 2 or higher sexual relationships on record?"
Q - (checks clipboard) "No sir."
M - "Ah...well...he'll catch up to MI6 standards in there, or wash out...you could have suggested for him to start with the blonde in Level 1."
3:26 PM Mr. Blue
Connery looked like he never touched a gym, but he had that natural strength thing.
Bond should look like a cross trainer, or multiple event Olympian, not a gym rat.
3:27 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah. Brosnan always looked like a agent.
3:27 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah, he strikes me as a highly intelligent ladies man type in real life. Not much of a stretch there.
3:27 PM Mr. Silver
Connery was a welterweight prizefighter.
3:29 PM Mr. Blue
Cool.
There's gym strength and then there's man strength. Some have neither, and some have both.
Connery has "man strength", in appearance.
3:31 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah, Bruce Willis is the same. He looks like he drinks and smokes, yet could dish it out.
3:31 PM Mr. Blue
Yep. Harrison Ford has man strength.
3:31 PM Mr. Brown
They are the guys that did manual labor sometime in their life.
3:32 PM Mr. Blue
Right. They didn't perfect their bodies in the jim, they perfected them in the field.
LOL... “gym”
3:32 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
Jim
That was funny.
3:32 PM Mr. Silver
Not after the “00 agent sex training” scene...
3:32 PM Mr. Brown
HAHAHAHA
3:33 PM Mr. Silver
"Psst...Bond...Don't pick Levels 7 through 10!"
3:34 PM Mr. Brown
Or you'll earn your muscle in the Jim.

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