Mr.
Silver
Woah...one
of the guys has a big Tupperware container of pepperoni and cheddar
cheese.
11:02
AM Mr. Gray
Oooo
11:02
AM Mr. Silver
Like,
big enough for 2 pounds worth, and it’s 2/3 empty.
11:17
AM Mr. Silver
"Heart-Attacko
Brand Snacks introduces their new 30-serving meat and cheese fun
tray! (May serve 1 in USA, see details)"
11:19
AM Mr. Blue
I
remember Mr. Pig-Iron would eat like that every day.
I
asked him what the deal was; he said "Atkins".
11:22
AM Mr. Silver
Yes,
he was doing Atkins for a while.
11:33
AM Mr. Silver
Last
I heard Mr. Pig-Iron was on an all fat diet.
11:33
AM Mr. Gray
Last
I saw of him I could believe it. LOL
11:34
AM Mr. Silver
Just
observational humor, I’ll admit.
Though
I recall an interview with a 100+ year old man and they asked about his
diet that let him live so long.
11:35
AM Mr. Gray
BACON!
11:36
AM Mr. Silver
"Over
the years, I cut back to only the essentials: fatback and whiskey"
11:36
AM Mr. Brown
Keep
the blood thin.
Give
yourself energy.
Overall,
feel happy.
11:37
AM Mr. Gray
Wasn’t
off by much, heh!
11:39
AM Mr. Silver
Nope
Mr.
Brown
2:17
PM Mr. Brown
It
looks like the one military guy is standing there saying “look
happy” while watching the guy play the driving game.
2:20
PM Mr. Brown
It’s
just funny that almost all the pictures have military in it.
2:21
PM Mr. Blue
Like,
60% of their population are active military.
2:25
PM Mr. Gray
They
are the ones who get food and aid first.
2:26
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
The
UN dumps a bunch of crates of rice and grains for people and the
military eats it while cursing America and the UN.
2:27
PM Mr. Brown
Join
the military. Eat.
2:29
PM Mr. Blue
I
like the traffic ladies.
They
don't tell you that they use people to direct traffic because their
power grid is so sketchy.
And
in both pictures of the traffic ladies, you don't see a single car on
the road.
2:41
PM Mr. Silver
Wow...took
me a minute to figure out that last waterslide picture.
"Is
this how they launch the rockets? Or get rid of undesirables?"
2:44
PM Mr. Silver
On
first look, the ride appears to be a gentle coil, followed by a ramp
that launches one into empty space, and crashes you onto the cement.
2:45
PM Mr. Brown
LOL
Now that’s
a NK ride!
2:46
PM Mr. Silver
"This
ride is called 'The People's Space Program'. If you are worthy,
you ascend to heaven."
2:48
PM Mr. Blue
How
does that work?
2:50
PM Mr. Silver
Look
at the picture...the last waterslide one.
2:51
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
It looks like it shoots the person into the air.
2:52
PM Mr. Silver
Physics
wise, it's impossible...I think it's supposed to look like it does to
the slider before looping him over to the left.
2:54
PM Mr. Blue
That
looks like a pretty sharp turn.
It’s
funny that they think a water park is worth bragging about.
Pretty
much every other country probably already has several, except maybe
the Vatican
2:55
PM Mr. Brown
How
you know they don't have one?
2:56
PM Mr. Silver
You
forgot about “Holy Water Springs”.
2:57
PM Mr. Silver
""Hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeyyyyyy
CARDINALS!!!! Get your swim cassocks on and come on down to
Holy Water Springs water park, Vatican City! Bring the nuns and altar boys!"
2:58
PM Mr. Blue
LOL
Hahahaha
2:58
PM Mr. Brown
Ride
the Noah’s Ark!
2:59
PM Mr. Silver
"Don't
miss Half-Off Purgatory Wednesdays!"
"And
Wet n Wild Host Wafer Weekends*! (*park closed on Sundays)"
3:02
PM Mr. Silver
"New
this Summer! CAN you HANDLLLLLLEE? Jesus's Walk-On-Water
CHALLENGGGGGEEE!?!"
3:03
PM Mr. Brown
Try
a ride on the Crucifix Slide, where you put your life in God’s
hands!
3:03
PM Mr. Silver
"Come
try the newly refurbished Red Sea Run! Can YOU get across
before Moses closes the way?!?!"
3:05
PM Mr. Brown
When
it’s time for refreshments, come get a drink and some manna at
Moses’ Split Stone Café!
3:05
PM Mr. Silver
“Or stop in for all-you-can-eat loaves and fishes at any of our Feeding Of
5000 stands!”
I
always picture a years counter starting to increase at high speed,
marked Mr. Silver's Purgatory when I do these. My time in
Catholic school did things to me.
3:06
PM Mr. Brown
Yeah,
I feel like I’m doing something wrong, making fun.
3:06
PM Mr. Silver
Eh...God
clearly has a sense of humor.
3:06
PM Mr. Brown
Right.
I
think about that.
The
biggest rule I take to heart and follow is taking the Lord’s name
in vain. I just don't do it, it just feels wrong.
3:07
PM Mr. Silver
That's
right...when I invoke Him, I mean business.
None
of this vain, flippant stuff.
3:08
PM Mr. Blue
Language
is such a primitive thing that God probably wouldn't even care.
3:08
PM Mr. Silver
In
the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God.
Then
it became The Bird sometime in the middle of the 20th century
Though
technically, it was two Words
3:11
PM Mr. Blue
LOL
3:12
PM Mr. Blue
Ex.
23:12 Doest thou not know about the Word? 23:13 The LORD doth command
the bird is the Word
8:02
AM Mr. Brown
I
found out the second hottest pepper in the world is very hot.
8:06
AM Mr. Silver
Hottest edible, I assume. You
had doubts?
8:07
AM Mr. Amethyst
lol
8:08
AM Mr. Blue
Only
after years of painstaking research.
8:09
AM Mr. Silver
Only
after a day of painstaking trips to the bathroom.
Speaking
of which...
We
took Mrs. Silver's niece out for Thai food Saturday.
8:12
AM Mr. Amethyst
Oh
yea?
8:12
AM Mr. Silver
I
ordered “Pad Kee Mow (spicy)”
Thai
is spicy regardless - they ask you "how spicy from 10 to 1" on everything - so the fact that this was the only dish on the menu tagged "(spicy)" as a warning marked
it as exceptional.
8:13
AM Mr. Amethyst
You
ate flaming noodles?
8:14
AM Mr. Silver
I'm not one to ruin an authentic experience through fear.
So when the waitress asked
"How spicy do you want it?"
I answered "As spicy as it's supposed to be."
Waitress
"Ok"
8:14
AM Mr. Amethyst
Bad
choice.
8:14
AM Mr. Silver
Oh,
it tasted GREAT!
But
the aftermath of the (spicy) noodles was 8 trips to the bathroom that
evening and through the night.
8:14
AM Mr. Brown
The
jerky I ate made with the second hottest peppers was called “Ground
Zero”, made at a place in Ohio.
I
was at (event) on Saturday
Came
up to their booth and they were giving samples of stuff
I
asked to try the Inferno Beef Jerky.
He
said “Well, if you’re going hot, might as well go all the way.”
He
steps back into the booth comes out with a piece and says “I call
this Ground Zero.”
He
said it will take exactly 42 seconds for it to hit.
Yep,
it did. My face turned red.
I
could not drink anything for like a half hour for fear of spreading
the stuff.
8:18
AM Mr. Brown
Then
for about an hour later my stomach felt like there was a fire burning
in it.
8:18
AM Mr. Brown
I
had to eat a pile of homemade chips to put it out.
Then,
let’s just say that Sunday was a horror show that started at 2 am.
The
jerky tasted great, just really hot. LOL
Mr.
Amethyst
Anyone
in here ever purchased ben wa balls for a spouse?
11:24
AM Mr. Brown
Ben
who?
11:24
AM Mr. Blue
The
sex toy?
11:24
AM Mr. Amethyst
Yea
11:27
AM Mr. Amethyst
...is
that a no?
11:27
AM Mr. Blue
I’m
not married, so no from me.
11:27
AM Mr. Brown
I’ve
never bought my wife a sex toy.
I
leave that to her to buy stuff herself if she wants something.
11:28
AM Mr. Amethyst
....
Get
the Clone-a-Willy
11:31
AM Mr. Brown
She
goes to those parties sometimes that her friends have. Like a
Tupperware party for sex toys.
She
never came home with ben wa balls though.
LOL
11:32
AM Mr. Blue
That’s
a pretty weird idea.
11:33
AM Mr. Amethyst
What’s
that?
11:33
AM Mr. Blue
A
bunch of women getting together and talking about/buying sex toys.
That
"Pure Romance" party, or whatever it's called.
11:33
AM Mr. Brown
Right.
Pure Romance.
11:33
AM Mr. Blue
You
don't see guys getting together to talk about the best flesh lights.
11:34
AM Mr. Brown
Nope.
LOL
11:34
AM Mr. Silver
Mrs.
Silver went to one. She brought home some massage oil and a
mitt for back rubs. Nice...not exactly practical for "fun".
11:35
AM Mr. Amethyst
I
couldn’t let Mrs. Amethyst go to one. She’d come home with
a trunk full.
11:35
AM Mr. Blue
LOL
11:43
AM Mr. Amethyst
I
don’t think she should go, because everyone else would get
something like "The Pink Fluffy Friend", but she would buy
something named "The Rack".
11:44
AM Mr. Blue
LOL
11:45
AM Mr. Brown
“It
twists! It turns! It bludgeons!”
11:48
AM Mr. Blue
"What’d
you get?"
"A Butterfly and some massage oil. You?"
"The
Octagon."
11:48
AM Mr. Brown
“I
got the Jackrabbit, how about you?”
“I got The Morning
Star.”
11:52
AM Mr. Brown
So,
what you’re saying is, if they had a Swiss Army sex toy, that’s
what Mrs. Amethyst would buy.
11:54
AM Mr. Amethyst
Yes
11:55
AM Mr. Silver
I
wonder if there is one. Probably should be.
(a
Swiss Army Sex Toy, I mean.)
11:56
AM Mr. Brown
There
probably is. I was thinking that when I wrote it.
LOL
11:57
AM Mr. Silver
I’m
not Googling it here.
2:24
PM Mr. Brown
Spray
some Windex on it.
2:25
PM Mr. Blue
I’m
not sure I’d put something like that on my skin willingly.
Your
skin absorbs stuff pretty easily.
But
WD40 is pretty awesome.
2:27
PM Mr. Silver
"Unsurprisingly,
the panel of medics were unimpressed. 'As far as I know, there's
nothing in WD-40 that would have an effect on the joints apart from
the cooling effect and the fact that rubbing helps,' said veteran GP,
Dr. Ayan Panja."
“Science!”
Wait...not
science...um…
“Assumption
without investigation or testing!”
2:28
PM Mr. Brown
Right.
They could do some actual tests.
2:29
PM Mr. Blue
The
Daily Mail seems to be against any kind of evidence whatsoever.
2:29
PM Mr. Silver
"As
far as I know, cortisone does nothing for pain and inflammations,
since I'm a bricklayer and have never used it. BUT...and this
is key…I'm willing to TEST it!"
2:30
PM Mr. Silver
"Sure,
some medical panel swears by it, but how good of a panel could they
be when they can't run a trial of WD-40?"
2:32
PM Mr. Silver
All
they really need to do is get 1000 people with arthritis.
Then
give 1/3 nothing, 1/3 WD-40, and 1/3 a pain reliever.
Then
conduct exams and interviews at specified points in the trials and
compile the results.
Then
do a statistical analysis of the results and come up with a coherent
conclusion.
Then
go on a medical TV show and say something better than “as far as I
know”.
2:32
PM Mr. Blue
I’d
rather have joint pain than smell like WD-40 and possibly be
flammable all day.
2:34
PM Mr. Silver
In another brilliant "as far as I know" entry, there’s
also no chance, for instance, that something throwing off fumes from
a person's chest might be inhaled and provide an illusion of
relief. None at all...nope...no need to test THAT.
2:35
PM Mr. Silver
“There's
no way that WD-40 can be getting through to your lungs to actually
improve your breathing."
Except...you know...breathing
in the fumes of WD-40.
These
“doctors” suck.
Mr.
Brown
Do
any of you guys cook?
8:05
AM Mr. Silver
Yes.
8:06
AM Mr. Brown
I
found out over the years that my method is to just throw stuff
together.
LOL
8:06
AM Mr. Amethyst
I
cook.
8:06
AM Mr. Silver
Cooking
is art. Baking is science. Throwing together is how
cooking is done, really.
8:10
AM Mr. Brown
I
made something last night and surprised myself.
This
time the surprise was good.
LOL
8:11
AM Mr. Silver
Did
you flush when you were done?
Oh...still
talking about food.
8:11
AM Mr. Brown
I
have, with my method of cooking, gone too far and the dish did not
taste very good.
8:12
AM Mr. Silver
I've
certainly botched a few in my day.
8:12
AM Mr. Brown
Too
salty, or something like that. Normally it’s one flavor that
I make too strong.
8:12
AM Mr. Silver
Mrs
Silver made a minor disaster on Monday.
She
makes this dish with tortellini and mushroom soup, peas, carrots,
parsley
Well...
8:13
AM Mr. Amethyst
I
had tortellini last night!
8:13
AM Mr. Silver
She
found a mushroom soup with roasted garlic...
And
had no parsley, so put in (too much) "Mrs. Dash".
First
impression...Mmmm
After
1 more second - Eeeehhhhh!!!!
Fortunately
there was nothing actually wrong with the pasta and veggies, so we
fished it all out, rinsed it off, and put in a new can of soup.
8:15
AM Mr. Brown
I
threw together cubed chicken , parsley, garlic, onion, Ro-Tel
tomatoes, canned tomatoes, BBQ seasoning, sea salt, red wine, beer,
and lemon juice. I let that cook with a lid in a pan for awhile on
the stove. Then added noodles and cooked them in the pan as
well, to soak in all of the flavors.
8:16
AM Mr. Silver
"Then
I looked up the number for the pizza place, and dinner was awesome!"
8:16
AM Mr. Amethyst
Right!
