Mr. Silver
"Republicans Pin Remaining Chances On Classic Non-Existent Cause."
“The dim bulbs of our concept of freedom may well go out if we don’t win this election,” the former Pennsylvania senator said, urging supporters to pick a true conservative panderer over frontrunner Mitt Romney.
"This speculative intellectual outcome received cheers from Democratic analysts, though they conceded it the chances of success be as great a fantasy as the so-called 'war'."
9:38 AM Mr. Blue
We *don't* talk about God in schools *because* we have freedom of/from religion.
9:46 AM Mr. Silver
"Freedom of Not Hearing About Your Religion."
9:47 AM Mr. Blue
That lady would probably move to Canada if she knew the true beliefs of James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, to name a couple.
9:51 AM Mr. Silver
In a related headline:
"Women Realize Republican Patriarchal Blowhards Blow, Hard."
Favorite quote, italics mine:
“The focus on contraception has not been a good one for us,” admits Republican strategist Sarah Taylor Fagen, “and Republicans have unfairly taken on water on this issue.”
Really? Really Sarah?
9:55 AM Mr. Silver
I would categorize using your bailer to pour water INTO the leaky rowboat is mostly unfair to the other passengers trying to get the water back out.
Mr. Silver
Hmmm
11:39 AM Mr. Silver
"You watched the soldiers come home disturbing and the sailors come home all effete. Now you can be that way too."
11:45 AM Mr. Silver
Interestingly, the inventor of the hair growing hat wasn't wrong about hair roots going dormant.
11:48 AM Mr. Brown
Mine are dormant.
11:49 AM Mr. Silver
It plugs in...I'm assuming it's just a massager.
11:50 AM Mr. Silver
"Don't be like this bald man, pictured here in a Shriner fez only marginally less embarrassing than being bald. No! Buy one of my patented fashionable fedora or bowler hats!"
On second thought, that looks like a lightbulb socket.
11:52 AM Mr. Brown
Having trouble staying awake at work? Are you not able to concentrate? Well I have the product for you! For just five payments of $24.99 you can get the Shocker Hat. You won't fall asleep at work again.
Just hook this cord in the hat to a car battery and wallah! You're alert and awake!
(Warning: Do not use for extended periods of time, do not use near water.)
11:53 AM Mr. Blue
Do not use if you are pregnant or nursing, or may become pregnant. Do not use if you have a functioning heart.
11:54 AM Mr. Brown
lol
11:56 AM Mr. Silver
"Gently cooks the brain under 40 watts of the miracle of 'electricity'."
11:56 AM Mr. Blue
Shocker Hat™ reserves the right to enter your home and take all of your possessions in the event of your untimely demise due to Shocker Hat™
Shocker Hat™ available at Walgreens.
12:05 PM Mr. Silver
The yeast one really bugs me.
#1...He essentially just asked his own sister out on a date.
12:07 PM Mr. Silver
#2...Big brother's use of 'beautiful' for his little sister is similarly disturbing.
12:08 PM Mr. Blue
What are you looking at?
12:08 PM Mr. Silver
Fleischmann's Yeast for Acne
The face full of gangrene is nasty too.
12:10 PM Mr. Silver
"Aw--my face decaying is no reason Jean!"
12:17 PM Mr. Blue
"Physically fit" in those days meant slightly doughy with a barrel chest, and never exhaling.
The Robert Mitchum method of physical fitness.
Mr. Brown
Wouldn't it suck if we made it out of our galaxy just to find out we have been staring at God's shoe box lid this whole time?
His little 5th grade science project.
12:36 PM Mr. Silver
"I got a D???"
12:37 PM Mr. Brown
He got third in the science fair.
Buddha got 2nd.
Odin got 1st.
12:45 PM Mr. Silver
Odin didn't wuss out on his project's ending like the other two.
12:45 PM Mr. Brown
Yep
lol
12:46 PM Mr. Silver
(Judge 1) "Eh...oneness with the universe...ok...sort of an oblivion of serenity. He balanced the math, I'll give him a lot of credit for that.”
(Judge 2) “Definitely a passable resolution. Looking at Yahweh's, now. Ugh... Eternally wandering around being happy, looking at Him? Yeah right. It's just completely egotistical, and where's the sustainability? No wonder all those pieces malfunctioned near the beginning and had to be dumped into what He's calling His 'isolated sub project'."
12:49 PM Mr. Brown
(Judge 1) "Now Odin finished with an ultimate demise to everything in existence, with a no-holds-barred fight up till the end. Exciting, clearly defined, conclusive. Great job!"
12:55 PM Mr. Silver
(Judge 2) "Agreed...started with chaos, ended with chaos. Top marks. And he has recycled materials to work with at the end for another project, and Yahweh used all His up."
(Incidentally, I enjoyed this sequence too much to point out that neither Buddha nor Odin created their versions of the universe to Mr. Brown – Mr. Silver)
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