Wednesday, December 6, 2017

446 - Just Don't Look Like A Tourist, Lady Parts & Labor, A So-Called Monster, A President For Everyone, and "The Name Of The Ed"

[2:31 PM] Mr. Blue:
I keep wondering how safe it is for like, me or one of you, to just walk around some of these foreign cities
Like I know Baghdad is unsafe... but is it really *that* unsafe?
Apparently yes.
If you go there and just start walking around as a Westerner, you're pretty much guaranteed to be kidnapped or murdered almost instantly.
You need a security detail to even move around the "green zone", which has security run by an int'l coalition
[2:35 PM]
"Plan your next murder vacation with us!
[2:38 PM] Mr. Blue:
Checking Tehran now
Apparently there are "fake police" problems
[2:49 PM] Mr. Brown:
If you go to somewhere ISIS is, you will for sure be kidnapped or killed.
[2:50 PM] Mr. Blue:
Probably
This does mention that Iraqi Kurdistan is very safe for Americans and Westerners
I guess the Kurds like us
[2:50 PM] Mr. Brown:
If you know the language well and everything else, you could maybe blend in with the right clothing
[3:06 PM] Mr. Blue:
Mogadishu: “Those mad enough to visit the city face three options: die in the airport, die on a bus, or die on a boat.”
Lagos, Nigeria, sounds surprisingly safe and welcoming
So far Baghdad and Mogadishu are guaranteed death sentences...betting Kabul is too
Nigeria sounds safer than South Africa
Tehran sounded relatively okay
Just no kissing in public and cover your head & arms if you're a woman
And if you're a homosexual you should grow wings. lol
Baghdad sounds really rough. It makes you wonder how on earth a place that bad can ever turn around.
They describe the city streets just filled with people with machine guns
[3:19 PM] Mr. Brown:
Some of these places make you wonder how the people live there in the first place
[3:20 PM] Mr. Blue:
Very carefully
How do you take a city that's a bombed-out hell hole that's 1/5th mass murderers and say: "Okay, now you need to modernize"
I'm sure all the war criminals and terrorists will just happily trade in their IEDs and AK47s for smart phones and X-Boxes
[3:23 PM]
In a place as safe as that? Yes!
[3:24 PM] Mr. Blue:
I guess Europe recovered after WW2 and stuff
It's not like they caught and locked up every Nazi. They couldn't.
IDK if Berlin ever got anything like Baghdad, though.




[1:03 PM] Ms. Rose:
Speaking of sperm. Did I tell yinz that I almost had my uterus ripped out yesterday? 5-year Mirena replacement.
[1:09 PM]
5 Year Mirena replacement...
(sees mechanic looking at a computer screen with you...uterus behind glass up on lifts with guys doing 30 point inspection)
"Well, we have a couple options ma'am... And with the coupon you have I'd suggest go with the Premium plan."
(Ms. Rose) "What's the advantage over Silver?"
"Well, we'll swap out the fan belt and give you a new filter.  That alone will increase the life of it."
[1:12 PM] Ms. Rose:
Silver, don't even. It was *the WORST*.
Dude doc, with his hands up my woman parts is like, "You haven't had a period in 5 years. This is going to feel like 5 whole years of periods, all at once. And do you mind if me and (5 other named people) experiment on you?"
[1:13 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Let me tell ya about the value of rust proofing...”
[1:13 PM]
So I was close on the group of mechanics...
[1:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
I swear, those damn interns or assistants or whatever they are, were grabbing me by the falopian tubes and just pulling out my uterus through my face.
But hey, no babies for another 5 years! (y)
[1:16 PM] Mr. Brown:
Ice ice baby
[1:16 PM] Ms. Rose:
I got really emotional and yelled at Mr Oleo for like an hour last night, questioning his decision to not have kids.
[1:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
*doctor stands up, grease & grime all over his face & hands*  "at'll be $75.50, parts & labor."
[1:16 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[1:17 PM] Mr. Brown:
Adopt a puppy
[1:18 PM] Ms. Rose:
Last thing I'll say, and I apologize for TMI. The doc was like, "If you see a little piece of plastic fall out in the toilet, call us." Because I *always* check the toilet after I...go.
Without insurance, the damned thing costs $1400. I am fairly certain I will notice if a $1400 piece of whatever falls into the toilet. Depending on how many drinks I've had.
[1:22 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Here's yer complimentary air freshener." (that's my last one too)



[1:27 PM]
"The so-called 'Tully Monster' (pictured here with this awesome primitive shark to get you to click on the article) is about as monstrous as you'd expect from something called 'Tully'."
"Paleontologists have been unable to tell if the Tully Monster had a spine.  They are similarly unsure about the spines in modern descendants."
[1:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
[1:33 PM] Mr. Blue:
The eyes looks like a piercing
[1:34 PM] Mr. Brown:
A cross of a squid and fish-like creature
The fossils look interesting
[1:35 PM] Mr. Blue:
[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:
The fossil appears to show you nothing other than what it was shaped like
[1:46 PM]
So that's why they can't figure out the Tully Monster eyes...They aren't eyes, they are jewelry
[1:47 PM] Mr. Blue:
The earliest goth-punk in the fossil record
[1:54 PM]
The back end is all one big butt.
[1:59 PM] Mr. Brown:
Just simply looking at it, that thing looks like a relative to a squid
Instead of tentacles that shoot out it has one long proboscis with the beak at the end
[2:02 PM]
Of course, all the real examples appear to be a blob flattened onto a larger base blob. 
[2:02 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yep, looking at the fossils we have to go off of
[2:03 PM]
"We found out they were actually long and thin, and other critters liked to splat 'em flat at one end."
[2:04 PM] Mr. Brown:
Me'sa thinks it'sa me'sa long lost cousin
[2:06 PM]
Perhaps they were long and thin and would puff up like a balloon when threatened with fossilization.
"Oh crap!  Silt!  (sucks in water)"
The pressure made their eyes pop out
Sproingk!
[2:08 PM] Mr. Brown:
We need to make a horror film with it now



[1:38 PM] Mr. Brown:
There are people protesting today saying Not My President Day
Um. Today is to celebrate all the previous ones or the ones you like.
lol
[1:41 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
"Don't like any?  Make one up!"
[1:44 PM]
"In this country, our right to Freedom of President is in the constitution."
[1:46 PM] Mr. Blue:
Today I celebrate Thomas F. Douglas... Before being elected president he led a cavalry against the invading Huguenots at Tallahassee.  He was also a state senator from Kanawha.



[12:01 PM] Ms. Rose:
Ewww. Chuck Cooter is our new HR guy. I cannot have respect for anyone with that last name. (chuckle)
[12:02 PM]
To soften the reaction, just keep in mind he could have been named Dick
[12:02 PM] Mr. Brown:
Or Harry
[12:03 PM] Ms. Rose:
I will never see his name the same way again. Thanks, Mr. Silver!
Mother: Virgina Cooter
[12:03 PM]
Father: Peter Cooter
One of my ex-college roommates – one of two who ended up into the under-aged and a licensed licensed psychopath...
After getting kicked out of the house...and college...but not the Navy (?)
Officially re-emerged from his lair into society in a different state with the new name:
"Mike Hunt".
It seemed appropriate for him.
[12:08 PM] Ms. Rose:
I think we've talked about goofy names before, so I apologize for the repeat. Mom went the school with a Marylou Goldshitter. Classic.
I had both Candle Holder and Luke Warm in my elementary school. They were transplants from some other place in MA.
[12:09 PM]
I was called several years back by someone saying she was an ex-wife of his, giving me a rundown of the horrors she and their kids had endured, and to make sure I was aware that he was divorced and if he had ever gotten a hold of any of my personal info, be on guard.
To be honest...I thought her call was a scam he himself was rigging.
[12:10 PM] Ms. Rose:
Wow, so he really was a...Hunt.
[12:17 PM]
He really was.
Everyone liked him immediately but me.
Hot shaman instincts, perhaps, but I knew he was evil the moment I saw him.
Depersonalized him immediately by dubbing him “The Ed”.
Which stuck and made things easier.
He was exposed, evidence investigated by police, magistrate hearings held and etc in less than a semester of me drawing the short straw to share a room with him in the house.
Who knows what would have happened if it wasn't me stuck observing him.
"His" closet (I didn't get to use my half of it) was padlocked right after we moved into the place.  
When we'd had enough and and I (with 'stand back, you can't touch anything' witnesses) got in to "my closet" that I was paying rent for and had been locked out of -- an accepted legal argument vs. breaking and entering -- it was full of boxes of stuff obviously stolen from the campus bookstore and other places, stolen mail, and he had all the "missing" paychecks from the roommates in the Navy (6 of 8 of us were Navy).  He also had collected fragments of info on all of them.  He had addresses, relative names and relationships, couple serial numbers. 
Surprisingly little on me but I was a minimalist.
He's lucky they didn't just kill him and lose his body somewhere...there was talk...but we'd already turned him in.  He got off light considering the felonies...not sure how he wormed out of it.
I predicted he'd be dead by age 28 after targeting the wrong mark.
No such luck.
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