Monday, September 5, 2016

374 - One Wiener Horse To Go, Tri-Partisan Pizza, and Ms. Rose Wants The Husband

(I appreciate getting 4 clicks after accidentally posting just the title "374". :-)  Sorry! - Mr. Silver)

[1:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
[1:49 PM] Mr. Brown:
Wiener horse
[1:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
You've solved it!  That's no unicorn!
[1:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Still guessing what the wiener horse is next to though
Wiener horse standing next to the prickly cactus
[1:55 PM] Mr. Blue:
A salt lick?
[1:56 PM] Mr. Brown:
Wiener horse next to watering trough
[1:56 PM] Mr. Silver:
They are restaurant orders!  That's why they are so short!
[1:56 PM] Mr. Brown:
Dancing star fish?
[1:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
(top characters) "The guy in the puffy shirt wants a wienerhorse, fries, large drink."
"To go” (walking)
(left) "Bag of chips, choco taco on a stick"
A typical day's orders from a popular restaurant.
[2:05 PM] Mr. Brown:
Lots of scrotum cows
[2:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
I'd like to take this opportunity to ask Mr. Brown – again - if he's sure about him having kids, or if his wife just shows up with them one day.
[2:06 PM] Mr. Brown:
LOL
Ancient cultures are infatuated with the male genitalia
[2:11 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yet the ancients knew that cows did not have them.
[2:12 PM] Mr. Brown:
Male cow
Bull
[2:12 PM] Mr. Silver:
Anyway
I've cracked another piece of these tablets
I know what the square/cuppy decoration thing is.
[2:12 PM] Mr. Brown:
A lamp?
[2:12 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Legend says civilization collapsed after the 15th hole's catch basket was eaten by a celestial wiener horse and there was no way to score.  The gods threw and threw, but to no avail.  All that remains are the scorecards of the gods...named...but hopelessly without a total score."
[2:19 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
[2:24 PM] Mr. Silver:
The fact that "wiener horse" is now a permanent part of my vocabulary is a mixed blessing.



[10:11 AM] Mr. Blue:
How the hell do you pull ahead in the polls AFTER you start talking about Hitler?
From an article today "I know you're not supposed to say 'Nazi Germany,' but I don't care about political correctness. You know, you had a government using its tools to intimidate the population. We now live in a society where people are afraid to say what they actually believe."
[10:18 AM] Mr. Silver:
Are they?
The societal loudmouths apparently aren't afraid to say anything no matter how stupid it is.
[10:19 AM] Mr. Blue:
I guess if what you actually believe is bat-shit crazy and you're afraid of being ridiculed by the moderate majority then yes that's true
[10:21 AM] Mr. Brown:
It's peer pressure
Not government pressure
[10:44 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Afraid of saying anything" is roughly as weighty a fear as "Government planning to take away your rights"
Honestly...the current government can't accomplish anything.  How would they pull off taking away constitutional rights?
Fox News was funny this morning
"Conservatives up in arms over Republicans caving in too easily on a budget deal, saying it doesn't go far enough."
Translation: "Republicans agreed with Obama on something.  Ultra-conservative morons outraged due to chronic unawareness of reality."
[10:49 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
The Tea Party motto seems to be - Drag your feet to stall government no matter what the Democrats want. Just totally F everything up regardless of what it is, no compromise ever.
[10:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
Imagine trying to decide on pizza toppings with those idiots.
(The People) "Pepperoni of course..."
(Rep) "That sounds good.  A nice Italian topping."
(TP) "Not AMERICAN?"
[10:58 AM] Mr. Blue:
heh...
(Dem) "Well, I don't like pepperoni.  Can we do half pepperoni and half cheese?" 
(TP) "NOO!  PEPPERONI OR ELSE NOBODY'S GETTING PIZZA!" *stomps feet and mumbles about the troops*
(Dem) "It's fine... I'll just pick the pepperoni off."
(TP) "NO. WE DO NOT AGREE!  NO PIZZA FOR ANYONE.  UHH MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD MUCH???"
[11:34 AM] Mr. Silver:
(White house press secretary) "Based on an independent non-tax-funded study that was done drawing from 30 years of data, it was found that 100% of respondents liked a 3 cheese blend on every pizza combination ever ordered.”
[Unanimous nodding and smiling, positive mumbling]
(White house press secretary) “So Obama requested that."
(Rep) "Well in that case, we don't like 3 cheese blend. Call them back."
(TP) “IMPEACH!!!  BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!  CONSTITUTION!!!”



[10:47 AM] Ms. Rose:
(Separate note. Chatting with a guy.) Nothing says male chauvinist pig like constantly referring to your spouse as "the wife." How come I never hear chicks talking about "the hubby?" It's always "myyyyyy hubby". Chicks = objects to possess. Dudes = possessions to object to.
[10:51 AM] Mr. Silver:
(Calls out Ms. Rose) "My man" in the same tone as "my dog" was the most commonly used reference to husbands and boyfriends at Jatzenkammer.  I heard it daily for 5-7 years.
[10:51 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[10:52 AM] Ms. Rose:
At least "my" implies that you're a person, actively possessing something. Calling her "the wife" makes it seem like she's the same as "the cat" and "the table" and "the icky thing in the corner that I don't want to touch" etc.
[10:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
"My dog was tearing up the yard and my man sh- in the dining room again.  Wait...got that backwards."
[10:53 AM] Ms. Rose:
I'd rather be "a wife" or "your wife" than "the wife."
[10:53 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Hi, my name is Silver, and this is a wife, Mrs. Silver."
[10:53 AM] Ms. Rose:
HAHAHAHA!
"Hi, my name is Ms. Rose, and this is myyyyyyy husband, [insert name]. MINE. ME ME ME!”
"Look! I am a female and yet I actually have a possession! This person, who pays for stuff and follows me around all the time! It's almost better than being allowed to vote!"
[10:57 AM] Mr. Silver:
"...and this is my investment, Trevor."
"How's the return so far on it?"
[10:57 AM] Ms. Rose:
:-D
[10:58 AM] Mr. Brown:
My wife always says my money is my money and your money is my money
[10:58 AM] Mr. Silver:
Mrs. Silver thinks that one is funny too.
"Check it out. I've been playing 'Husband - The Idle Game'."
How's it work?”
"You just pick one of the right shape and color and click on him repeatedly to earn points to open and select new achievements and options."
"You can continue to click as long as you like to earn your own points, but with carefully considered selections, Husband will just start gaining enough points on his own."
Fair warning though: poor selections may leave the player having to click constantly just to keep up, and Husband itself has several failure options without the game itself ending."
[11:04 AM] Mr. Brown:
Husband = Tamogochi pet
[11:06 AM] Ms. Rose:
Males take on entirely different meanings when you don't have a desire to reproduce. It's like taking off the "sperm bank-colored" glasses.
[11:05 AM] Mr. Silver:
As awful a social commentary as that particular bit was...I kind of want to see "Husband - The Idle Game" run.
"WTF!!!"
"What?"
"I walked away to get a sandwich and Husband bought something called an X-Box and there's 3 more characters on the screen!"
"Damn, girl..."
"How many points w- WTF!!!???  That cost five THOUSAND clicks!?!  What was he THINKING????"
"What's he doing now?"
"Nothing!  Well...I mean he's burning a ton of time and draining clicks on snacks and beer...but nothing!"
[11:11 AM] Mr. Brown:
"You left it alone since 1990...now its dead."
[11:11 AM] Mr. Silver:
I have a favorite Tamogochi comic somewhere, speaking of...Have to look that up...
A true laugh-and-cry story
[11:14 AM] Mr. Brown:
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

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