431 - The (Good) Morning From Hell, Pinguintruppen, Mason Pranks, Extreme Tea, and How To Properly Display Your Adult Toys

[9:12 AM] Mr. Brown:
God morgen

[9:13 AM] Mr. Silver:

All praise Morgen

Interesting depictions... 

https://www.google.com/search?q=goddess,+morgen&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiU16qe1qjRAhUQySYKHShnAtsQsAQIHQ&biw=1162&bih=776

And it's really Morgan

And you don't want to dis her, regardless.

[9:15 AM] Mr. Brown:

Don't want to scroll too much on that search.

[9:15 AM] Mr. Silver:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Morr%C3%ADgan

[9:18 AM] Mr. Brown:

I decided to look up good morning in multiple languages.

Tere hommikust

So German is guten morgen.

[9:20 AM] Mr. Silver:

Or just “morgen”

[9:21 AM] Mr. Brown:

It looks like a lot of places used this morgan.

[9:21 AM] Mr. Silver:

Tere hommikust... "The people of Earth are cursed"

"Good morning to you too!"

[9:22 AM] Mr. Brown:

Supposed to be Estonian.

[9:22 AM] Mr. Silver:

Well...it' IS Estonia

(Estonians passing on the street as the sun is rising. Feeble hand wave.)

"We're doomed..."

"All is lost..."

"If it were possible, have a nice day."

"You too."

[9:26 AM] Mr. Blue:

There are regional variations to even guten morgen in Germany. I assume other countries are similar

[9:27 AM] Mr. Silver:

Like the Nordrhein-Westfalen - "Yo, dude"?

I'm not sure where I picked up "Howdy", honestly

Something broke in my head when I realized it was a truncated vulgate "How do you do?"

[9:33 AM] Mr. Blue:

Grüß Gott

[10:06 AM] Mr. Blue:

A wtf headline

http://in.reuters.com/article/germany-weather-penguins-idINKBN14O1EK

[10:09 AM] Mr. Brown:

They should have just told them to grow the Hitler/Charile Chaplin mustache then walk like Charlie.

[10:09 AM] Ms. Rose:

This would not apply in our area, as Penguins tend to ice skate really fast and score goals and stuff. :P

[10:10 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Goosestepping in jack boots is right out this winter, say German docs"

"Radical new theory by cabal of German surgeons explaining the failure of WWII's Russian winter campaign" - https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0172/2992/products/jack-boots-marching-620x320_1024x1024.jpg?v=1420988225

"Lost Nazi 'Pinguinkrieg' battle plans found hidden in Berlin attic"

[3:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

https://apnews.com/4c8e937434c245149235fc2f6b58fa61/german-mans-front-door-walled-overnight

[3:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

That's an elaborate prank

Starts with a bricklaying apprenticeship

[3:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Heh

[3:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

Guy wasn't woken up by the mortar mixer?

Maybe he was drunk on amontillado

[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

I don't recall anymore if it is real or not, but I remember a tale of a school having all the windows and doors bricked up overnight.  England, I think.

[3:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

All the bricklaying how-to's on YT are brits from the west-midlands area

Everything is brick there too... very noticeable when we passed through

[3:31 PM] Mr. Brown:

Where the masons are

[3:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

The little known Connie Francis hit

[2:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

I put cream from the fridge in my tea and then thought... is that a thing? 

I guess so.  Chai tea is milky

[2:37 PM] Ms. Rose:

:|

[2:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

My question is.. milk in tea.. is that a thing or no?

Gross or good?

[2:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

It is absolutely a thing.

Also, I don't do it.

I've tried it. I tried it again after many years and it still wasn't good.

“Now my hot tea is funny tasting cold tea!”

[2:39 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

Back when I actually drank tea (like 20 years ago) I feel like there was research or something that said adding dairy to tea caused an increase of...riboflavins? robo-flavors? I dunno.

[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

Do I want more riboflavins?

[2:40 PM] Ms. Rose:

Sure!

[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hell yeah

Meh… Can’t even taste it

[2:41 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Earl Gray...NOW! With more robo-flavors!"

[2:41 PM] Mr. Blue:

Earl Gray Extreme

[2:41 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

"Monster Energy presents: Earl Gray XXL!"

[2:43 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

“Crack it, Squeeze it, Chug it, Old Bean!!!”

[2:44 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

"You're British, so you don't want to be a Bro. And you still enjoy tea time. Well, we've got a solution for YOU, bloke!"

[2:46 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Muscled rugby brute, pinky extended, chugging Earl Grey XXL)

[2:46 PM] Ms. Rose:

(y)

[2:58 PM] Mr. Blue:

This is actually kinda reasonable

I can just see a board meeting at Earl Gray HQ...

"We need to tap into the younger demographic.  These kids love their gangster rap, their hoverboards, their gender pronouns, and their energy drinks."

[3:01 PM] Ms. Rose:

"But, sir! It's Earl Gray! And it's...TEA!"
"That's a very old way of thinking, Johnson. You're FIRED!"

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

So does Earl Grey XXL come in a single serve tea cup that you peel the top off of, like those glasses of wine?

[3:23 PM] Ms. Rose:

No. Duh. Earl Gray XXL only comes in 24-oz. cans with a really strong pop-top.

[3:24 PM] Mr. Silver:

Little chemical heater in it?

"Just twist the saucer, count two-score seconds, and down the hatch, what?"

[3:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

Why would you want to drink Earl Gray warm, bro?

[3:25 PM] Mr. Silver:

(gags)

Because it's perfume if it's cold

Or steeped too long

Uh oh...that's a problem we didn't consider. Maybe the Extreme part better just be lots of caffeine.

[3:26 PM] Ms. Rose:

Yeah. *pumps another rep* That's what they all say.

Do you even lift cups of tea, bro?

[12:19 PM] Mr. Silver:

So when Mrs. Silver mentioned over lunch that the place is a bit of a mess, I mentioned to her that you, Ms. Rose, said that your place is pretty cluttered and can be embarrassing. 

"Why's that?"

"Well, she lives with Mr. Oleo and she kind of inherited all his stuff."

"Like what?"

"I dunno...but he's a gamer and a geek, so I imagine a lot of nerdy toys and stuff like that, laying around...like the kind of crap I own that you hide, but more."

"Tell her they just need a place.  Tell her to get some shelving or shadow boxes, and to put his grown up toys there where people can look at them if they want."

"Right.  I'm to say 'Mrs. Silver says that you should put all the adult toys in the house out on open shelves where everyone can see them'."

"DON'T SAY THAT!!!  ... Unless you think she'd think it was funny."

"OK."

[12:21 PM] Ms. Rose:

Hahahaha!

*goes to IKEA to look for 'adult toy shadow boxes'* Wait! Not THAT kind of adult toy! :S

It would be much more of an issue if we got visitors more than twice a year. But I'm fine with the $600 VR headset thingy sitting on top of the cat carrier, and our couch being more blankets than actual couch. So long as I don't have to be single. :P

[12:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Agent I'm talking to about her VOIP) "There's times I'm in a 3-way and I want to get off..."

("Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything...”)

[12:23 PM] Ms. Rose:

:O

That customer DEFINITELY needs an adult toy shadow box.

(And since you're almost done for the day, tell Mrs. Silver that my weekend mission is finding an adult toy shadow box. :P )

[3:30 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe