Saturday, August 20, 2016

368 - "Oh Lord Grant My Petty Juvenile Prayer!", "The Stars N Stripes Whatever", "It's The End Of The World As We Know It - Oh! We're All Fine", One Bread To Rule Them All, and A Jackpot You Don't Want To Win

[11:26 AM] Mr. Blue:
Someone on FB put a status of a prayer request because they were going to the dentist
[11:27 AM] Mr. Brown:
You can die going to the dentist
[11:27 AM] Mr. Blue:
You can die sitting on the couch
[11:28 AM] Mr. Silver:
I can die talking to this half-wit...and I'm putting up a status Prayer Request for that...
[11:28 AM] Mr. Blue:
Calling all my prayer warriors. 7am appointment for Katzenjammer Dental in the morning.  Scared beyond words can [sic] do it justice.  I'm also getting really lightheaded almost to the point of scariness so not sure what all to expect. Incredibly scared. Have had horrible experiences with dentists PLEASE PRAY”
That's the status... what a maroon
[11:33 AM] Ms. Rose:
I'm going to ask for Personal Time so I can go pray for that person.
Pray that she gets hit by a bus...
[11:34 AM] Mr. Blue:
I don't even know him: just a friend's friend. They commented and it showed up on my feed
My friend put "What funeral home do I send the flowers to?"
I was just like: "Holy shit! This guy must have been diagnosed with cancer or something!" *reading* "Nope... just afraid of cavities and gingivitis?"
[11:35 AM] Ms. Rose:
Wow, it was a dude?!
[11:36 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[11:37 AM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
Gaylord Ponce...Action Hero!”
"Unbeknownst to the men in his ultra-fashionable social circle, Gaylord Ponce is secretly the dashing Pink Pansy, defender of the defenseless.”
His one secret fear is dentists.”
[11:43 AM] Mr. Brown:
I only fear choking on something when I’m there
[11:43 AM] Mr. Blue:
I hate the dentist too
Even during teeth cleanings, I’m so tense that I get sore by the end.
[11:43 AM] Ms. Rose:
Should we pray for you, Mr. Blue?
[11:43 AM] Mr. Brown:
Sacrifice a goat before you go
[11:43 AM] Mr. Blue:
That doesn't help any.
[11:44 AM] Mr. Brown:
One time a dentist gave me the max amount of shots and I could still feel the drilling
He said “well, I'll fill in what I did then, and you will have to come back.”
So now I just ignore the pain and let them continue.
Get that shit done the first time!
[11:45 AM] Mr. Blue:
Even if you believe in praying for this stuff, it seems like a waste of God's time
"Dear God, please don't put me in any awkward situations today where someone holds a door for me but I’m far away from the door and have to briskly walk to it and then make small talk."
[11:45 AM] Ms. Rose:
HAHAHAHA
[11:46 AM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
[11:46 AM] Mr. Brown:
Dear God, let me win this video game so I can tell all my friends how amazing I am.”
"Please God, don't let me get swamp ass today"
Now if a little kid was praying these things, I’m sure God would be like: “Ok, sure. You're excused, you're a kid.”
But an adult?
LOL
[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
(Adult finishes crappy prayer...sheet of paper falls down with flaming letters)  "Poorly worded, derivative, dubious arguments.  D-.")



[9:42 AM] Mr. Blue:
To me, its weird that when you have to hang the American flag so it's vertical, you have to keep the stars in the upper left.
It looks backwards
Just rotate the flag 90* to the right.
[9:45 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Keeps the stars in the upper left, man...like them Hollywood liberal commies."
[9:47 AM] Ms. Rose:
I got in trouble in high school for wearing a Ministry (the band) t-shirt that had a backwards American flag on it. Oh, and also a picture of guy with a bloody piece of a...body part? on his head.
[9:49 AM] Mr. Blue:
I wore this to school and nobody cared
[9:49 AM] Ms. Rose:
I remember that shirt!
[9:50 AM] Mr. Blue:
I still have it and it still fits.
What is that on his head?
[9:52 AM] Ms. Rose:
My fellow deviants at the time thought it was a liver. Probably from an animal or something.
[9:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
That flag is fine...it's on a pole and oriented correctly.  The only time anyone should care is if it's upside down since that's a distress code.
[9:53 AM] Ms. Rose:
I also had a very controversial Marilyn Manson T-shirt. But Katzenjammer is blocking all the pics for it. LOL
That's what I thought, Mr. Silver! But no... hauled into the principal's office by some smelly, fat ass math teacher.
[9:56 AM] Mr. Blue:
I’d be more upset with the back, because the flags look to be in some sort of weird pagan symmetry, almost a swastika.
Not that I care, but I guess if I were a principal I might.
[9:58 AM] Ms. Rose:
T-shirts were the only reason I was ever in trouble at school. I was a goody-two-shoes who just dressed like a total potential school shooter.
[9:59 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Blocked by corporate firewall for content violation. Category: Too cool for high school so too controversial for Katzenjammer"



[2:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
What time does the world end?
Or wasn't the Talmud specific?
Mr. Silver... didn't we (or you) decide that any day any human being predicts the world will end, it will 100% not, since God stated basically that 'no man can know'?
So that even if someone guesses, it would be knowing, and thus he couldn't be correct?
So the end of the world will have to be a specific time that is not predicted by anyone?
[2:39 PM] Mr. Brown:
It would be a paradox if anyone knew.
[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:
You can't even think about it.
Even thinking "the world might end today" means it will not.
So these doomsdayers are basically helping us.
Every time someone predicts the world will end, they ensure it won't.
[2:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
@Mr. Blue - Yes, that is the logically absolute conclusion.
The day and time no one thinks about it or predicts it...we're fucked.
[2:45 PM] Mr. Brown:
Maybe that’s the code to keep the system running.
[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
We need better prophesies for that, Mr. Brown
There are already enough loonies trying to get the End Times going.
Where are the prophesies for free loot and good eats?
[2:46 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
 [3:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
"And The Lord has decreed that in the wane of the year that the loud man with haystack hair seeks the throne, all men and women will receive a free medicine that will make them physically fit and attractive."
[3:32 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
You were workin' on that one for a bit, huh?
(Hi there. I find it interesting that by the day I ran across this archive and was finally getting around to posting this “prophesy” from October 7 2015...Donald Trump is the Republican candidate for President of the United States of America. Today is 8/20/2016. Keep an eye out for this wonder drug, folks. - Mr. Silver)



[9:38 AM] Ms. Rose:
Also, did you ever realize there are LOTS of Indian (the country) breads? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Indian_breads
I'm doing a crossword. Can you tell?
[9:39 AM] Mr. Blue:
I read that as "breeds" at first
I’ve only had naan bread, but it's delicious
[9:40 AM] Ms. Rose:
I've only ever had naan bread, too! I thought that was THE Indian bread.
[9:40 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
Seems like they are mostly similar to that... flat and stuff
[9:41 AM] Ms. Rose:
Leave it to them Injuns to classify flat bread in 3 dozen ways. LOL
[9:48 AM] Mr. Silver:
Stepping back, I'm suppressing the inner loony who wants to laugh out loud at the thought of a set of cultures as ancient - and population as huge - as India sporting a single bread.
(“Injun” is an epithet for Native Americans, BTW, Ms. Rose. You were looking for “dot head” if you felt like insulting a billion people)
(5000 years ago)
(Baker 1) "We could try adding a bit of salt?"
(Baker 2) "Eh...its good enough.."
(B1) "Yeah..."
[9:50 AM] Ms. Rose:
I'm suppressing the inner loony who wants to laugh out loud at the guy in PA who finds multiple Indian breads funny. :P
[9:50 AM] Mr. Blue:
I don't know how prevalent wheat is in Indian farming so I wasn't real sure if they had a lot of breads or a little



[1:08 PM] Mr. Yellow:
OK, I may finally be done with my kidney stones.
I just passed another big chunk.
So with that and all the small ones I hope I am done
2 good sized chunks and 4 small ones.
Something help me if there are more, because I am so worn out from this I need a break.
[1:23 PM] Mr. Green:
No doubt
[1:44 PM] Mr. Yellow:
Funny to hear the *klink* sound in the urinal
[1:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
As long as it doesn't sound like a jackpot of coins...
[1:45 PM] Mr. Yellow:
Haha

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