Saturday, February 16, 2019

503 - Bad Names, Bad Hair, Bad Aliens, And Bad Bricks

[1:21 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Channel 4 spelled my in-laws' last name wrong on TV.
They put it in as DEMIT
[1:21 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Its DAMNIT
[1:22 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
One time they spelled my friend's name Shane as Shake on the news so he changed his social media to say Shake Harrison
[1:22 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
LOL
And so a new name is born of meadia covrage
[1:25 PM] 
Starring Shake Stonejaw
And Jove Damnit
[1:27 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Special appearance by Shake Legsaw
[1:30 PM] 
"Co-starring Vivian Vavoom as crack reporter Meadia Covrage"
[1:30 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Oh I found a last name in the system the other day Mr. Blue. It was Whynott
[1:31 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Bye Fellas
[1:33 PM] 
"And Catskills jokester Bye Fellas as himself."
[1:36 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Skeeter Bugsworth
[1:37 PM] 
Bugsworth plays the role of "Whynott", I assume
[1:38 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
We actually have two Whynotts in the system
[1:39 PM] 
(looks to see how many "Howso"s we have)
Gotta Howski...and a Howson
The character names of the winter sports instructor and a confused new dad



[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
I saw an article about a kid in Russia that has been advancing more quickly than normal since birth and is recalling things from Mars from when he used to live there.
It was burnt by nucular war
[9:34 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Fallout: Mars”
[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
nuclear
And that the 7ft tall beings on it still live there underground
[9:35 AM] 
Well...they're awfully quiet
[9:42 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
[9:45 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Were Martians also responsible for that haircut?
[9:45 AM]  Mr. Blue:  
That haircut has some problems
[9:45 AM] 
"The boy – pictured with Russian haircut – is a consummate BS artist from Mars."
[9:46 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
The Marllet - Business in the front, trans-planetary genius in the back
[9:46 AM] 
"The secret is behind the Sphinx's hair, somewhere.  It's kind of a mess."
[9:49 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Just behind the ear, not the nose
lol
[9:49 AM] 
That being said, the legend there is a library hidden in the Great Sphinx has been around a while, and there have been hidden chambers or something coming off as hidden chambers detected in it.
I'm betting he's basically a high IQ sci-fi writer, is what he is.
[9:50 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Let him at at the sphinx
[9:50 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Nothing in that article would even be specific to Mars or the Sphinx
[9:50 AM] 
No...article is empty
Let's have this list of astounding details, please.
[9:51 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Ask him what the temperature is on Mars, when the Mons Olympus last erupted, how much water is on it, how long the canal/valley is.
[9:51 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
There's this little brick behind the ear. Push the brick. I don't know which one.”
[9:51 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
The Sphinx was carved out of solid rock
[9:51 AM]
Eh, it was modified/restored a couple times on record even in ancient days
[9:52 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
If they tried to hollow it out it would've crumbled
[9:53 AM]
Nah, it's just a switch. You work the mechanism, the Sphinx's tail lifts, there's a grunting noise and all the Martian knowledge will push out.
[9:53 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
There is a spot in pictures, under the ear
But I think its just a spot
lol
[9:54 AM] 
(Nick Cage, holding Constitution of Alabama and Napoleon's last pair of underwear from Elbe) "So the decoded riddle from Section 182 says - The Russian Kid Conveniently Forgot.... The Russian conveniently forgot...  Of course!  Alexander Hamilton's Sunday suit!  So it's the one with the Ibis that Lafayette chiselled off in 1793. (Puts underwear on head, looks though fly, picks and pushes brick) So obvious...Dolly Madison's ice cream recipe was right all along."
[9:55 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Who was it shot up the Sphinx again?
[9:56 AM] 
I don't think anyone ever admitted it.  Last blame I recall, the French shot it off, but it probably just fell off.  It's a little old.
[9:56 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I wanna say Ottomans
Pre-French
[9:57 AM] 
It's probably written down somewhere.
"Out of olives.  Get lamb for party.  Nose fell off Sphinx today.  Hit 7' Martian with bad hair.  Hilarious!"
[9:58 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
The only 7 ft aliens I know of are the Nordic ones
[10:00 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Now it's the slavo-mongoloid ones
[10:01 AM] 
Heh
[10:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Here they are – the human-martian hybrid master race
Easily spotted by their short femurs and high tolerances to potato wodka
[10:05 AM] 
They are roughly 7' tall if pulled up by their Slavic-style male haircuts
That whole site needs shared, Mr. Blue
[10:08 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I found a site, but then lost it, that was called "Russia or Ohio?"
Someone takes pictures from people's Facebook accounts and you have to guess if they're from Russia or Ohio
[10:13 AM] 
Looks like that might be a difficult game...

(later)

[2:32 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
[2:42 PM] 
That'll be useful, actually.  I'm running an anti-alian invaders game.
Never heard of the draconians being quite so tall
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I like the nordic ones
"We have studied hoomans and have learned to immitute them exaltly."
Human but just.. not quite right
Too perfect, weird mannerisms
Studies things closely that should be ordinary to anyone else
[2:56 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Yeah
Nordics would be interesting
Greys have become nightmare
The Nordics have tapered off and now its always greys
Nordics musta got the boot from Earth.
I have had an alien experience
That's why those movies freak me out
I never got to see them, just heard them and i could not move
Maybe that's why my immune system sucks. Stupid experiment they forgot about.
lol
My experience was laying in my bed on my belly sleeping. I hear something and wake up to a humming vibration feeling all around me. I could look around my room a bit but could not move. I saw flashing lights, heard mechanical talking sounds behind me just out of view.
The humming was crazy
A tingling pressure all over me, vibrating everything
I may have seen something but can't really remember it for sure
This came a month or so after my dad and i saw an orange UFO
Straight up above us - strange shape, glowing and moving extremely fast and taking angles like nothing i have ever seen before
[3:02 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
The scene in Signs with the alien scared the crap out of me the first time
[3:03 PM] 
Mrs. Silver asked "What do you think aliens look like?"
I said "Just like us, some of them."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because, based on available mythologies, we were probably altered to match them."
"Why?"
"Pleasant to look at servants... Amusement... Sex toys..."
Sex toys? Any proof?”
You mean besides stories of gods/angels having kids? I'd say most obviously the conspicuous and unnatural lack of a penis bone in an ape. We were changed to match their naughty bits, hang around in polite company, and wear their clothes. Constantly rigid thingies would be a problem."
[3:02 PM]  Mr. Blue:
Ah 
[3:07 PM]
But in the end we couldn't be nice to the ones that look like us when they came around to help us out.
Because modern humans suck
So now we have damned Grays all over
[3:09 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
We are damned dirty apes



[1:39 PM] 
So...house renovation show down in the break room...
"What's this in the kitchen?"
"Have to pull away some wall."
"Uh oh...some sort of brick structure."
"Better see where it goes... yup, all the way through to the 3rd floor!"
(Me - "These people do this work and don't know what a chimney is?  Heck, there's fireplaces attached to it and everything.")
[Later]
"Well, its demolition day.  Kinda worried about taking out that brick structure." 
(Me - "Oh COME ON!")
[1:40 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Gotta make it dramatic
Or less not interesting
I have a useless chimney on the side of my house, there for nothing now
[1:43 PM] 
This one was up through the middle, actually
Still...
Its not like the USA is unfamiliar with the idea. 
"And every year, Santa comes down through the mysterious brick structure found in some houses with fireplaces attached."
[1:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Once people got furnaces, they used them as vent stacks not smoke stacks
[1:46 PM] 
(Bert from Merry Poppins singing) "Brick bricky brick! Brick bricky brick! Brick struct-er-oo!  A sweep sweeps out structures that pierce the house through!" 

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