512 - Basically Big Time Bombs

[9:08 AM] 

So...rude tale -

Mrs. Silver is...chesty.  Family trait only compounded by weight.

Occasionally causes trouble sleeping.

And so, if she has discomfort sleeping, I, of course, also get to have trouble sleeping.

This happened last night.

[9:10 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Knocker knock

Boom

[9:10 AM] 

As I dragged myself to the shower, I thought "perhaps there's some sort of support garment for sleeping." 

She comes in as I'm soaping up.  "Hey sweetie.  As long as you have the Kindle.  Is there such a thing as a sleep bralet or something?"

"Never heard of that."

She looks...it exists

"Like $100"

"Wow."

[9:12 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i actually may look into that for Mrs. McGreen

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Mrs. Brown likes sports bras for sleeping

[9:12 AM] 

Well now she's interested. 

I'm getting breakfast together and she's now shopping around.

I'm about to head out the door. 

"I found one for $40."

"Really?  Just to sleep in?"

"HEY!  It's for my health and happiness.  I'm worth it."

"I didn't say you weren't, sweetie." 

"You know, if they made something you could put your bits in that would help you sleep better, you'd buy it in a minute."

"Sweetie...not to be rude... But you already have something I can put my bits in that helps me sleep better."

(beat... dawning understanding)  [Evil scowl]

"Oh don't give me that look - you though it was funny..."

(chuckles)

And then i left for work.

I'll probably get her one for X-Mas if she hasn't already ordered it.  I'll get the info for you Mr. McGreen.

[9:17 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

She is going to buy the 100 dollar one because of that joke.

lol

[9:17 AM] 

Yup

"Growl!  Leaves me here with a sex joke, eh?  I'll show his bank account!"

[9:18 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Mrs. Brown put four things on Amazon for ideas to get her for Christmas thinking i will only buy heron of them

Bought them all

lol

[9:18 AM] 

You're buying her a heron?  Or heroin?

(squawking destructive racket Christmas morning)  "I wanted to get you 4 Calling Birds like the song, but all they had was Great Blue Herons!" 

[9:21 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Heroin would be a lot cheaper

[9:22 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

She is a heroin to me

[9:22 AM] 

Heroine!

[9:22 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

*giggles*

[10:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Watched “Young Guns” last night

That first film's music is not the best

[10:16 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Did they use contemporary music? I forget

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

was electric guitar and some orchestra

[10:23 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

the Billy the Kid one?

[10:24 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

yes

[10:24 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

I remember as a kid liking those

[10:24 AM] 

Never saw them.  Mrs. Silver likes them. 

[10:24 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

They are actually close to historically accurate, but with flair

[10:25 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i don't remember any pieces of flair on their suspenders

[10:25 AM] 

I have this suspicion that if i looked up all the real people mentioned in Young Guns, they were a variety of ages, not necessarily alive at the same time/place and a bunch of stuff didn't happen as shown.  But.  Never did and haven't planned to.

"Toddler-to-Old Guns"

(Pretty bad but not as bad as I thought http://www.aboutbillythekid.com/young_guns.htm

- Mr. Silver)

[10:26 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

There were others in the gang - they did not show them all

[10:26 AM] 

They do the same with pirate movies

(voice-over guy) "What if Calico Jack found a time machine?"

(Ponce de Leon, struggling with Jack's hand to his throat) "I tell you it was NEVER a Fountain of Youth!"

"...and what if he used it..."

(Lai Choi San looking at Ragnar Lothbrok, under restraint - Chinese...subtitles) "Who is this fool and what kind of clothes is he wearing?"

"...to gather together the greatest pirates in history...”

(Jean Lafitte and Blackbeard, fighting with rapiers in a burning castle)

“To take ONE...BIG...PRIZE?"

(Camera pulls out each beat to reveal Barbarossa, Black Caesar, and Leo of Tripoli standing on a ship's deck laughing at captured Royal Marines in tricorn hats)

(Title card)  “Time Pirates”

                     It's Pillagin' Time

(Scene of drunken debauchery and looting on a Carnival Cruise ship with pirates spanning 2000 years and all the seas of the world)

[10:32 AM]  Mr. McGreen:

I would watch this film

[10:32 AM]

As would I

[9:15 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Who has beef with Mr. Brown that would get off on coffee-bombing his desk?

[9:16 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I'm pretty sure nobody did it on purpose

But they do always just leave it for somebody else clean it up

[9:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

how would they not do it on purpose?

it sounds like an explosion, not a spill

[9:17 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i sat with some chick in (department) and she left crumbs and food particles everywhere. I'd type and my keyboard made crunching sounds.  So finally i told my supe to see if she could like send out an email. But she brought it up to the chick and she apparently started crying

[9:18 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

lol

[9:18 AM] 

"I never learned how to eaaaat!!!!"

[9:18 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

good for her

dwell in your self pity, crumb monster

[9:19 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

lol

that coffee bomb, i'm not kidding, it was like that all the time with Mr. Amethyst

but not necessarily coffee, idk what these substances were

[9:20 AM] 

chewing tobacco?

[9:20 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

yuck, maybe

[9:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Is this stuff maybe a carbonated drink opened under pressure that sprayed everywhere?

[9:20 AM] 

Better taste it to be sure

[9:21 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i was lucky enough to never sit with Cooper.  i'd have felt like i was on hoarders

[9:22 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I'm gonna coffee bomb your desk next

I mean for the first time

[9:34 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Mr. Brown, i think you need to narrow down suspects.  find out if the coffee was regular or decaf? hazelnut or french roast?  maybe carbon date it

[9:09 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

this coffee is literally all over my desk

its behind the monitors on the pc tower

[9:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

who sits there Mr. Brown?

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

nobody but me, so i have no clue who the F did it but i'm pissed

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

was it you?

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

nope

I threw everything away before i left on friday only thing on my desk with liquid was my water which would not leave a mess like this

[9:14 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

what do you think you would actually do though if you found the culprit Mr. Brown? I'm just interested...for a friend

[9:14 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

make them lick it up

lol

[9:14 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

No i'm being totally serious. I'm thinking a luke warm talking to, at most

[9:14 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

well you can't jump straight to rage monster from the start unless they act all aloof

[9:15 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

I wouldn't even say anything, because i doubt anything would get done like when i sat with Mr. Amethyst. He's disgusting

[9:35 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Dust the mouse and keyboard for fingerprints

[9:35 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Did you know prints are rarely recovered from crime scenes?  Oftentimes crimes have no fingerprints you can run

thats pretty much all movie

Like checking for semen to match against some United States Semen Database

[9:37 AM] 

Dust for coffee then

11:47 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

oh and on the coffee bomb front, Cal came and took pictures

And I get to clean it up now

He's going to see if anybody sat here

[11:48 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Did you put little chalk outlines around the splots?

[11:48 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

hahah

[11:49 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Was Calvin wearing a trenchcoat and fedora, with a little notebook?

[11:50 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"Whoever did this was a real sicko. He took his time. He had fun with it."

[11:50 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

"He wants us to know he's not done"

[11:51 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

"The MO suggests this assailant to be a drifter with devil may care attitude"

"He is white, probably about 5' 10”, 205lb"

[11:54 AM] 

(misses almost entire game! :.( )

[11:58 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"By the time they found Mr. Brown's cube it was so sticky it took him 3 hours just to wipe the coffee up."

[11:59 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Truman Capote will be writing a novel about the crime: "In Cold Coffee"

[12:02 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

"We had a problem.  I'm sorry.  We tried everything but there was nothing we can do."  "They coffee-bombed him!  Sons of bitches coffee bombed him!"

[Henry Hill narrating]  "It was payback for Billy Barista...and a lot of other things."

(my brain is absolutely ruined)

[1:15 PM] 

(Salvatore Tessio lifts Starbucks cup out of heat shield) "It's an old Sicilian message: Mr. Brown drinks with the baristas."