Monday, January 29, 2018

457 - Alien Balls, A 5F On The Bitch Scale, Death By Iceland, "Fooled Around And Fell Too Hard", and "I Love It When Unplanned Random Science Comes Together"

[11:32 AM]
"NASA Coverup of Alien Sphere - Earth Doomed."  http://www.popularmechanics.com/space/a23989/weird-blue-sphere-in-space/
"'Sun not blue, doesn't appear and disappear' says famed degree holder in Sports Information Giorgio Tsoukalos"
"Leeloo, where are you?"
[11:45 AM] Mr. Blue:
I watched an entire episode of that Ancient Aliens show last week.
It's astounding how quickly they jump into absolute nonsense.
"Geologists have recently discovered an impact crater in Madagascar. Did a meteor strike here?”
Or is this a docking station for an ancient alien space ship?”
Why did they come here? Are they still here? What are their intentions here?"
[11:47 AM]
They know their audience
[11:47 AM] Mr. Blue:
You'd have to be so unbelievably stupid to even be entertained by it.
[11:48 AM]
Be fair - to them we're unbelievably smart.
[11:48 AM] Mr. Blue:
Do they realize that? Flat Earthers think we're sheep.
[12:00 PM]
"There is evidence the Earth is flat all around the globe!"
(Saw that quote clipped from one of their texts on FB at some point recently)
Contrailers think we're sheep too
I believe Chad is a Contrailer
[12:01 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yep
It's all over his YT channel
Just him filming contrails with his narration. "Look at this. They're poisoning us...every day...with this filth. Chemicals. It's the government."
Crazy how everything else that's observable in the universe is round
Including other planets
Not Earth though. We're just lucky, I guess.
[12:58 PM]
"Today on Ancient Aliens - Is everything being spherical just physics, or is there a deeper truth?  Is it proof of alien engineering?"
(Cut to Tsoukalos) "Balls."
(Dr. Mann, PHD Landscape Architecture, Edinburgh) "Everyone knows that the sphere is one of the most basic and beloved toys in the world.  Is it just a coincidence that aliens brought them here?"
[1:30 PM] Mr. Blue:
They had two guys who were stating - as if it was absolute fact - that the Moon was brought here by aliens to help terraform earth.
Like as factual as stating that the Earth revolves around the Sun.
[1:33 PM]
I'll grant life on Earth would be wildly different and possibly precarious if we had no moon.  But as a terraforming device?
[1:33 PM] Mr. Blue:
They were also talking about the Moon being hollow as if scientists had already made up their mind on it, based on - "Well when some lunar lander crashed on the moon it rang like a bell...which is hollow."
So they based an entire episode on such a "fact".
[1:36 PM]
As documented in 'The First Men in the Moon', presented by professors Jeffries, Judd and Hyer in 1964
[1:37 PM] Mr. Blue:
(show expert) "It's basically literally like the Death Star from Star Wars."
[1:38 PM]
It's basically complexly figuratively specifically ironically like The Death Star.
Must be an extrapolation of the the classic Hollow Earth and Hollow Head theories developed in the 1940s.
[1:38 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
It also said that "we can't see the bottom" of some craters, indicating they are literally bottomless.
Which would mean that the Moon is not only hollow but is basically only a thin crust, like a basketball.
[1:39 PM]
If they were, we could see through to the other side
"The Wiffle Moon theory - believed proposed by a Dr. or Professor Brown working in Western PA on the 'Shoot The Moon Through The Sun' Project."
[1:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
There must be at least some kinda alien scaffolding in there holding it all together
[1:45 PM]
Must be!  I'm beginning to see how Tsoukalos's degree applies to aliens.



[2:29 PM]
Could probably sell a million of those as pencil cases or t-shirts in college towns.
[2:32 PM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[2:32 PM]
[2:34 PM] Mr. Blue:
One of those restaurants where the staff are intentionally rude
"Welcome to 5F, bitch!"
[2:36 PM]
"I want to lodge a complaint with your manager!"
"YOU want to complain? I want to complain. I knew you sucked when you walked in.  What EVVS..."
(drops plate) "I can't believe you eat this stuff."
(drops plate) "Here you go, fat girl." 
"Where's my mac & cheese?"
"Where's my ass, kid?  Oh, here it is...walkin' awaaaaay..."



[3:05 PM] Mr. Blue:
[3:11 PM]
"A strombolian eruption is characterized by a variety of tasty magmas and mozzarella cheese in a sealed volcano envelope and a side volcano of simple red lava for dipping."
[3:11 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
An estimated 20–25% of the population died in the famine and fluoride poisoning after the fissure eruptions ensued, and 100% of the frogs turned gay.”
(Alex Jones is always complaining about fluoride poisoning turning frogs gay)
[3:24 PM]
"The corpses all had beautiful strong teeth."
[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:
Sounds like it F'd up all of Europe for a while.
[3:28 PM]
I can't see how it wouldn't, unless the winds suddenly pushed it out over the Atlantic
Still reading.
[3:29 PM] Mr. Blue:
Tens of thousands of outdoor workers just choked to death
[3:30 PM]
The year Iceland tried to kill everyone on Earth.



[11:10 AM]
So...before Mr. Blue leaves...
"Fooled Around and Fell in Love" 
Is it the story of a womanizer who finally fell in love?
or
Is it the story of a pathetic big-talking stalker who finally had a girl let him touch her and doesn't know how to handle it?
(Mrs. Silver got me the CD for “Guardians of the Galaxy” #1 a couple years back and we've had it playing in the car...I had time to consider the lyrics on that song)
[11:13 AM] Mr. Blue:
The song? I don't know it.
[11:14 AM]
You've probably heard it...its one of those perpetual hits.
[11:14 AM] Mr. Brown:
Yes, I'm sure if played I would know it.
[11:15 AM]
It was the "fooled around" part that struck me.  I mean...it's just "foolin' around".  At it's lightest its not even going to bed.
[11:17 AM] Mr. Blue:
Oh yeah...
That song sucks.
[11:17 AM]
But in the song it comes off like it's the first time he's ever gotten into the situation.
(me) "Seriously?  Now I'm seeing Napoleon Dynamite singing this."
(Singer)
"I had the hots, for like a mill-ion girls....
I kept their naaames in a book.
And then I went to this party.
And one gaaaave me some beer...”
And asked if I wan-ted to fool around.
After a few minutes, she caaaalled me a dork...
And left with some other guuuuy,
But now I've fooled around and think - its LOVE!
Fooled around and think it's loooove.."
[12:43 PM] Mr. Yellow:
I read it as she did the same thing to him as he did to all the other women
[1:03 PM]
Heh.  Yes, that was my pre-current-version attitude: "She dumped him...  And honestly?  Screw the bastard."




[2:37 PM]
"Finally, the American housewife has a practical application for this ubiquitous equipment" - https://phys.org/news/2017-06-diamond-needles-emit-intense-bunches.html
I know that not even, say, a matter physicist is really expected to know all the thought processes and steps that led up to this experiment...but it's just boggling to me that it ever happened at all.
(Lab guy one)  "I made a diamond needle that is super tiny."
(Lab guy two)  "Why?"
(LG1) "I honestly don't know.  What should we do with it?"
(LG2) "Stick it in a silicon base in a vacuum?"
(LG1) "Eh. Why not?"
[5 minutes later] (LG1) "Well...there it is. We should write this up."
(LG2) "It doesn't do or reveal anything at all, but I agree."
(Lab guy three across the room) "Anyway, now that I've built one, I have no idea what to do with this nano-second pulsed laser I built..."
(LG1) "Hey, you! Bring that over and shoot it at the tip of this thing in the electron microscope."
(LG2) "Nah...shoot the base."
(LG3 pushing laser cart across lab) “What for?”
[5 minutes later] (LG3) “Think it's doing anything?”
(LG2) “No idea. Why would it?”
(LG1) “Wait a minute – we all have degrees in physics. We could try to find out.”
(LG3) “We don't even have a theory on this. What would we even look for?”
(LG2) “Lets just test it for everything at nano scale and find out if anything is happening.”
(LG1) “I'll make a list.”
[2:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
New from De Beers - the nano-diamond ring!
This is a Mr. Brown-level experiment
[2:46 PM]
"The scientists expect that electron-emitting diamond needles may offer potential advantages for a variety of devices used in research."
Because apparently nothing else emits electrons quite like this thing.
"In the future, the researchers plan to investigate heating the diamond needles"
Because the urine soak didn't do anything.
[2:47 PM] Mr. Blue:
They need to be better salesmen too - “Expect may offer potential” is not what you say to get more $$$ for more pointless research.
"This could have far-reaching applications! Make your checks out to 'cash'."
[2:48 PM]
(Three Lab Guys on Shark Tank)  "And so, [unveils apparently empty pedestal] we present the Teeny-Weenie Girl's-Best-Friend Electron-Emitter Thing."
[2:49 PM] Mr. Brown:
I built a giant machine to go to the center of the Earth, and now I can use that needle thingy on the front to dig.
[2:50 PM]
Perfect!
[2:59 PM] Mr. Brown:
Poking tiny balloons and playing microscopic vinyl records did not pan out.

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