Sunday, September 18, 2016

380 - I Seek The Secret Of The Ice, "Applicants For NASA Janitorial Positions Will Want An Advanced Degree In Astrophilosophy Or Related Fields", Bad Wine Snobbery, Homeless Veteran Pogram, "Bring Out Your Dead Weight!", The Forbidden Produce, and The Instinctive Drowning Of The Aquatic Human Theory

[‎12/‎11 9:40 AM] Mr. Silver:
So...Gynopology question.  Ms. Rose... Why the hell do so many of the women around here have an ice addiction?  I've seen 'em taking 3 pounds of the stuff upstairs.  Is it a chronic anemia thing?  
[‎12/‎11 9:48 AM] Ms. Rose:
Um, hmm... No idea. I know a lot of women on this floor complain of being freezing and then burning up. (Including me.) We're probably just all in some stage of pregnancy/menopause.
If we had an ice machine on this floor, I'd truly have no reason to ever go downstairs.
[‎12/‎11 9:51 AM] Mr. Silver:
(takes offering of rice bowl back out of lama's hands and storms angrily down Mountain of Wisdom)
[‎12/‎11 9:52 AM] Ms. Rose:
LOL
Maybe if you brought a bowl of ice instead....?
[‎12/‎11 10:08 AM] Mr. Silver:
(snaps fingers) Damn it.



[‎12/‎14 12:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
Too bad about the 20/20 vision...and the degree...and the experience...
But I've got US citizen and the height down.
[‎12/‎14 12:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
They need anybody on Mars to mop the floors and answer phones?
I’d be qualified for that
[‎12/‎14 12:52 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Recruiter) "You need a PHD for the mop work, son.  I have an opening for radiation shielding.  Got an associates at least?"
[‎12/‎14 12:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
I assume they want even the people on the bottom end of the totem pole to be, like, capable of advanced stuff in a pinch
[‎12/‎14 12:53 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yes, to be McGyver  
[‎12/‎14 12:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Our only doctor just got sucked out the airlock!"
"Don't look at me... I just work here...." *goes back to whistling and sweeping*
What if they need a wise old sage for advice? Like every character Morgan Freeman plays?
"Now I ain't a educated man, per say, but my momma taught me to always stay true to ya heart..."
[‎12/‎14 12:56 PM] Ms. Rose:
Then there could be a Mars version of Good Will Hunting. Like, the dude who developed all the complicated space stuff is actually just a janitor. And refuses to help. And fights with the Mars Ben Affleck.
[‎12/‎14 12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
"Thanks for the advice, Winslow. Now does anyone else have any input on what angle of re-entry we should use?"
[‎12/‎14 1:01 PM] Mr. Silver:
"A wise man said you can always tell the measure of a man by how well he looks within'."
"Within?"
"Within that navigation module and looks at the coordinates."
"Ah...OH!  OH OK!"
(Janitor wanders off, whistling)



(Ran across an oldie – Mr. Silver)
7:12 AM Mr. Blue
Heh, this song's frighteningly catchy
7:12 AM Mr. Silver
Which?
7:12 AM Mr. Blue
The one about keeping your clothes on
Jermaine Stewart
7:15 AM Mr. Silver
"Uh...no baby...don't get more comfortable...please.  Well...ok, but first let me finish this bottle of...cherry wine? You drink this? Ew! Know what...I'm just going home."
7:15 AM Mr. Blue
"I only drink wine out of a box."
Ironically, the singer of this died of AIDS
7:16 AM Mr. Silver
A box is too classy.  Open the box and take out the bag.
Should do that at a party
"The box seemed too hoity-toity. Down to basics, that's me."
7:18 AM Mr. Blue
"So I put it in one of those Kool-Aid mugs with the twisting-dispenser top."
7:18 AM Mr. Silver
Heh
"The wine's in the carafe on the table, breathing.  Been half an hour though, go for it."
"This is a Kool Aid mug."
"Nonsense...it's a decanter." 
"It has the Kool Aid guy on it saying 'Oh Yeah!' and breaking through a wall."
"Really?  I got it in Paris...I never noticed."
I suppose the ultimate would be putting something especially fancy in such a mug
7:25 AM Mr. Blue
"That's not apple cider in that half-gallon jug, that's a fine Brittany cognac"
7:25 AM Mr. Silver
A vintage Chateau Lafite-Rothschild wine in a Star Wars glass
"What do you think of the Chewbacca?"
7:27 AM Mr. Blue
Or perhaps the opposite
Grape Faygo in a crystal Ravenscroft brandy snifter
7:29 AM Mr. Silver
"Observe the legs on this 'pop', as they call it, when you swirl the contents to warm it."



[‎12/‎18 10:13 AM] Mr. Blue:
Program reduces number of homeless veterans in Pennsylvania”
I read that as "pogrom"
[‎12/‎18 10:16 AM] Ms. Rose:
HA!
Pogrom Takes Homeless Vets Out Back To Be Fed, Shot. Film at 11.
(No one actually still says "film at 11." But I've always liked it.)
[‎12/‎18 10:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
Purging the veteran problem is a top priority
(presenter in front of easel) "As you can observe from the bullet points in the homeless veterans proposal...we propose we points the bullets at the homeless veterans and observe them go away..."
[‎12/‎18 10:23 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahahaahha!
[‎12/‎18 10:25 AM] Mr. Blue:
Homeless veterans were seen being herded into cattle cars. We can only assume they are headed for warmer weather.”



[‎12/‎22 12:38 PM] Mr. Silver:
The PC game for "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" came out when those 3D posters were a new fad.
There was a stained glass church window in the "Bring out your dead" scene that if you clicked on it, Terry Jones would tell you there is a 3D clue in it and instructed you how to see it.
There was nothing there, but it would loop tips forever.
[‎12/‎22 12:40 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
[‎12/‎22 12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Did a bunch of bastardy things in that game.
Good game though
In that same scene there was a barrel.  Click and it would say "This    is    a    BARREL.  It contains (thing)"
You'd have to click it like 30 times to get a false grail out, and could keep going.
The inventory saved everything you picked up through the whole game, down to individual coins.
After you finished building "The Bridge of Death", you would always fall through if you were "too heavy".
[‎12/‎22 12:45 PM] Ms. Rose:
Funny! LOL
[‎12/‎22 12:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
The barrel was the only trash can in the game.
You had to throw out your entire inventory bit by bit to be light enough
Bastards...took forever.



[‎12/‎22 12:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
On the subject of The Forbidden Fruit...
 "Jewish scholars have suggested that the fruit could have been a grape, a fig, wheat, an apricot or an etrog."
"Those Jewish scholars suggesting that grapes and wheat come off of trees are, frankly, not very good scholars."
[‎12/‎22 12:59 PM] Ms. Rose:
ROFL
[‎12/‎22 1:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
"You may eat of any of My trees except the wheat tree, and the grape tree."   
(snicker... aside to Lucifer: "Look at them trying to figure out THAT one!")
(Later...the Serpent) "Hey Eve...check out this grape I got off a tree."
"No WAY!  We looked all over but couldn't find that tree!  Any good?"
"(chuckle)"
"What?"
[‎12/‎22 1:18 PM] Mr. Blue:
Maybe it was a lemon tree
[‎12/‎22 1:19 PM] Mr. Silver:
Lemon tree?  Like one solid bite and they had knowledge of how evil a prank God could pull?
"Augh!  Aw MAN!  Serpent, you suck!"
"HAHAHA!  You should see your face!"
"Shhh!  Here comes Adam.  Lets get him!"
"Yeah yeah!"



[‎12/‎22 1:20 PM] Mr. Blue:
The instinctive drowning response is a set of behaviors automatically undertaken by a person who either is, or is very close to, drowning.[1] 
How many of our ancestors had to drown or almost-drown for us to develop such a response?
[‎12/‎22 1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
Thus...instinctive drowning response...
I don't know, but our ancestors apparently weren't very good at it, because it's not a good response
[‎12/‎22 1:22 PM] Mr. Blue:
So... not enough yet
[‎12/‎22 1:27 PM] Mr. Silver:
There is a faction in physical anthropology that suggests the theory that humans were aquatic
[‎12/‎22 1:27 PM] Ms. Rose:
I read a book about that, Mr. Silver.
[‎12/‎22 1:27 PM] Mr. Silver:
This drowning response – in addition to humans being relatively miserable swimmers and unable to see underwater for shit even in artificially perfect conditions – are why I suggest that the members of that faction are full of hooey.
[‎12/‎22 1:28 PM] Mr. Brown:
LOL
[‎12/‎22 1:28 PM] Mr. Blue:
I am very afraid of deep water and drowning.  Is that part of the theory?
[‎12/‎22 1:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
I can only swim under water.  I can't stay up on top.

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