[12/8
11:53 AM] Mr. Blue:
If
the Bible were legit, it would've provided info that wasn't readily
available at the time.
Like
maybe some crude description of gravity or that the earth revolves
around the sun.
[12/8
11:54 AM] Ms. Rose:
I
trust nothing that has been edited by single men without a system of
check and balances. (Except for Wikipedia, of course.) :P
[12/8
11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
Well
it does! There are 4 corners to the earth.
There
ya go!
[12/8
12:08 PM] Mr. Blue:
I
guess as the saying goes “extraordinary claims require
extraordinary evidence”.
I’m
not gonna worship a particular god because Wikipedia says so, but if
Wikipedia says Margaret Thatcher was born with 12 fingers... sure,
why not?
[12/8
12:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
I
know I don't.
[12/8
12:09 PM] Mr. Blue:
All
religions have some crazy claims, but no evidence.
[12/8
12:09 PM] Ms. Rose:
Religion
is bad. Faith/belief in something other than yourself is good.
I
believe in drugs. So therefore I am better than everyone else. :P
[12/8
12:10 PM] Mr. Brown:
(fingers
in ears) LALALALALALALALALALALALALAL
[12/8
12:10 PM] Ms. Rose:
Mr.
Brown believes in beavers.
[12/8
12:11 PM] Mr. Brown:
The
Great Beaver will build you up and damn your tears of pain
[12/8
12:11 PM] Ms. Rose:
That's
the funniest thing you've ever said. EVER.
[12/8
12:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
I
submit "Wiener Horse"
[12/8
12:18 PM] Ms. Rose:
That's
the second-funniest thing you've ever said. EVER.
[12/8
12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
She
missed a lot...
[12/8
12:21 PM] Ms. Rose:
*She
doesn't remember a lot.
[12/8
12:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
LOL
Yeah,
I have not pulled anything crazy out in a long time
[12/8
12:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
The
main reasons I was intrigued with shamanism and started looking into
it was because:
1.
Its extremely old compared to everything (except maybe animism).
2.
Its a 1st person experience.
3.
It's not a One True system.
4.
It's not a religion.
5.
It meshes with everything
Knowing
the certainty of people making a mess of the good words and
intentions of religious innovators, I figured if there was any link to
divinity that actually worked, it was gonna be the first one.
[12/8
12:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
“I,
Shaman”
GREAT
Beaver Spirit will always slap the great tail of warning!
[12/8
12:32 PM] Ms. Rose:
If
I were proficient in Photoshop, I'd make a picture of Mr. Silver as a
Tauren shaman, throwing down totems. Because...WoW.
[12/8
12:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
They
should make a beaver mount on WoW.
Great
Beaver can chew through your many layers to the heart of your spirit.
[12/8
12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
I've
met Beaver...he's about beaver sized. Helped dress me in ritual
clothing as part of a great congress of spirit animals in a glade.
It
was a good session.
I've
never really gone to chat with him though.
[12/8
12:39 PM] Mr. Brown:
He
chews on the Great Tree of Life to keep his teeth strong and of
perfect length.
The
Great Beaver gives of his glands to create the Great Cherry Pop of
enlightenment.
[12/8
12:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
Getting
into Flying Spaghetti Monster territory there, dude.
The
last shamanic trip I took was really bizarre
I
left this universe, or this part of the universe, and looked in on 3
others.
Very
unnerving. I doubt I'll do it again.
They
were all too alien. I couldn't communicate with anything, though I
tried. It's usually easy...you just talk and, at least to me,
everything in the spirit realms sounds like English.
There
was an innumerable field of bubbles "outside" and I was
finished for good after only 3, and those were the 3 that actually
attracted my attention.
[12/8
1:04 PM] Ms. Rose:
Leave
for lunch and come back to glands and universes (universi?) and
bubbles. I love yinz guys.
[12/10
11:52 AM] Ms. Rose:
(Totally
unrelated. This is kind of a big deal to me. I have so many
awkwardly-worded emair responses because of the dumb singular "they."
http://mentalfloss.com/article/72262/washington-post-style-guide-now-accepts-singular-they)
[12/10
12:02 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Washington
Post Accepts Vernacular English - Anglo Civilization Doomed Say
English Teachers"
[12/10
12:03 PM] Mr. Blue:
I
wasn't aware “they” wasn't singular.
In
my head I consider it mostly plural, but not exclusively.
You
could use “it”, I suppose.
[12/10
12:04 PM] Ms. Rose:
But
you couldn't say "My friend--it is having a birthday today."
[12/10
12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
"A
crowd of 2 English professors and a librarian picketed the front
doors of the Washington Post this morning, carrying signs of
grammatical rules in such voluminous small-font text that
dis-interested bystandards couldn't read them."
[12/10
12:05 PM] Ms. Rose:
LOL
[12/10
12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
standers
[12/10
12:05 PM] Ms. Rose:
Bystandards
is funny though. Sounds like something Trump would say.
Or
Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.
[12/10
12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes...technically
"they" is a no no, Mr. Blue.
But
in practice, everyone knows the intention.
Like
can and may
[12/10
12:06 PM] Ms. Rose:
But
like the article says, it's perfectly normal in spoken language. Just
weird that it was a "rule" in the first place.
Yeah.
"Can I go pee?" .... "I don't know, Billy. CAN you go
pee?!"
[12/10
12:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
See
a doctor, Billy
[12/10
12:08 PM] Ms. Rose:
*Billy
pees on floor and flips off teacher. Goes home and writes amazing ungrammatical
rock ballad.*
[12/10
11:19 AM] Mr. Brown:
So
I think I solved my own issue of stress
[12/10
11:19 AM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
“Quit
job, leave wife & kids”
[12/10
11:19 AM] Mr. Brown:
I
need to use my sleep apnea machine
I
used it last night and feel better today already
LOL
[12/10
11:19 AM] Mr. Silver:
It's
almost like you got one because it was prescribed or recommended.
Good thing you just had one.
[12/10
11:19 AM] Mr. Brown:
Lack
of oxygen makes Mr. Brown an unhappy man
[12/10
11:19 AM] Ms. Rose:
Drugs.
The answer is always drugs.
Just
say YES!
[12/10
11:20 AM] Mr. Silver:
I'd
think your oxygen starved brain cells would leave you fairly relaxed
after the initial physiological panic.
[12/10
11:21 AM] Mr. Blue:
Maybe
try trepanation
[12/10
11:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
There
you go...head demons.
Let
those bastards out.
[12/10
11:21 AM] Mr. Blue:
I
wonder how trepanation affects like...flying in an airplane or
physical contact sports
[12/10
11:22 AM] Mr. Brown:
LOL
[12/10
11:26 AM] Ms. Rose:
*depressed
woman smelling flowers* *noticeable but not in anyway grotesque rash*
"Have your friends ever told you they need something 'like a
hole in the head?' Introducing... Trepanation XL (tm) from Pfizer.
Ask your doctor today!"
*14
minutes of side effects*
[12/10
11:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Users
of Trepanation XL show a marked increase of cranial leakage from 0 to
any higher percent. Ask your doctor if a cork is right for
you."
[12/10
11:29 AM] Ms. Rose:
HAHAHAHA!
[12/10
11:42 AM] Mr. Silver:
"You've
clubbed your skull! Sawed your skull! Even hatchets don't
work! Now you don't have to! Prescription strength
cranial demon release is just a drill away with Trepanation XL!"
[12/10
11:49 AM] Mr. Blue:
(bunch
of b&w re-enactments of a guy bumbling around with a hammer and
chisel on his forehead)
[12/10
11:50 AM] Ms. Rose:
And
the big red X going through that image. "Now there's a better
way!"
[12/11
8:12 AM] Mr. Green:
Wow...
Really?
[12/11
8:16 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yup...baby
cages.
Imagine
being stuck in a box all day...only being let out for short periods
to eat and relieve yourself until you are brought in to relax for a
while before bed.
(looks
at cube walls) Awww crap....
[12/11
8:23 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[12/11
8:24 AM] Mr. Green:
L.....
COL. :'(
[12/11
1:51 PM] Mr. Silver:
"None
of the companies have provided a complete set of requested documents
to the committee yet."
"We're
still shred- collecting those, ma'am."
[12/11
2:04 PM] Mr. Blue:
Why
didn't that guy just like.. triple the price?
Nobody
would have noticed
Why
did he have to raise it like 7000% more?
[12/11
2:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
So
he could afford a Wu Tang Clan album
Priorities,
Mr. Blue...priorities...
[12/11
2:08 PM] Mr. Blue:
Someone
should probably just kill him
Can
we have a Robin Hood type hit squad that kills people that are really
really deserving of it?
Like
the Kochs or George Soros?
[12/11
2:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Allan-a-Dale
sings) "He kills all the scum! And gives to mankind!
Hitman Hood! Hitman Hood! Hitman Hood!"
(Scumbag
surrounded by assassins in Lincoln green) "Are you planning
to ransom me for a billion dollars or something? It won't
work. It's all wrapped up in my business."
(Hearty
laughter)
(Hitman
Hood) "Mere money? Silly little man! Your company can
keep it! We want to gift the world with something far
better, don't we, lads?"
(Cheers!)
(Hitman
Hood) "Little John - the saber saw! Will Scarlet - the
webcam! Come, let's see how black our new friend's heart is!"
[12/11
2:24 PM] Mr. Blue:
I
don't understand the wu tang album thing either
Why'd
he buy it?
And
why make an album if there's a chance someone will buy it and throw
it in a fire?
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