Saturday, September 24, 2016

382 - Cliche' Clunks Vs. Oscar Baits, "Star Wars VII - The Entropy Strikes Back", and The Original George Lucas Doesn't Match Star Wars' Vision

[‎12/‎31 11:48 AM] Mr. Blue:
The previews for the WoW movie looked soooo bad
[‎12/‎31 11:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
Heh. Cue the movie trailer voice!
"In a world..."
"...do anything to survive..."
"...world will change.."
"...only one man...who is an orc but you know what I mean..."
[‎12/‎31 11:56 AM] Ms. Rose:
HA!
[‎12/‎31 11:57 AM] Mr. Silver:
"...but can he...an actual man or the orc...I'm lost in cliche'..."
"...last hope or something against some unrelated challenge we're throwing in..."
"...unite or fail...or who cares..."
"Featuring abnormally human-like female leads to make them attractive to the male audience who lines consist of stuff like "you can't" "you must" “what's going to happen to us?” and "it's over." "
"...an epic battle..."
"...good and evil..."
"...with principle characters who do that long overhead weapon swing thing that would just get a real person killed..."
"...and 50' leap attacks for some reason..."
(Reveal film title)
"...Title...”
...Not a proper title, but a simple fankid one because it sounds cool even if it makes absolutely no sense..."
"Uh...(shuffling paper sound) this one is 'Warcraft'."
[‎12/‎31 12:15 PM] Mr. Blue:
I counted THREE previews that involved someone that had either lost everything or had to risk everything
[‎12/‎31 12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
(WoW fan kid) "Shut up and take my money!"
Got a semi Star-Wars-Name contacting me: Omarion Farquharson!
[‎12/‎31 12:17 PM] Mr. Silver:
Oscar bait character name!  Cue the movie trailer voice!
"Farquharson's Tide - the story that's really good that you won't even look up until it wins a Golden Globe and 3 Oscars."
"Starring people in nice clothes with English accents."
"Adapted from the beloved classic you've never heard of."
"Enjoy 2 straight hours of tea and walking along shorelines, while secretly wishing YOU could talk like that."
[‎12/‎31 12:27 PM] Mr. Blue:
Oscar bait”, heh
(screenwriter) “Let's see, what's in the news lately? Uhh... transgender.... refugee... ends... racism.”
(6 months later)
Nominated for 17 Oscars, including 3 categories made just for this movie!”
[‎12/‎31 12:36 PM] Mr. Silver:
Is it a heartwarming story with students in it?
[‎12/‎31 12:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
One woman must risk everything”
[‎12/‎31 12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
"All she wanted was a new life."
"Whatever that means, because, like, conceptually that's just a stupid over-simplification of...you know...what she wanted..."
(scenes of lead laughing and eating ice cream with impossibly attractive, impossibly unattached neighbor guy while obsessed villain watches from a duckie paddlewheeler or something)



[‎12/‎31 8:22 AM] Mr. Blue:
Saw Star Wars VII... good movie
They blended the old characters in well. They didn't just pop in for a wink at the camera and disappear, but they weren't the primary focus either.
The soundtrack, weird screen cuts (like the line that goes across the screen with the next scene trailing behind it) all had that Star Wars feel
I remember saying to you that it seemed pointless to have Mayhew since he can barely walk and anybody can wear a Chewbacca outfit and stand around cooing, but I take that back. He has the mannerisms down, the little head twitches and stuff. It had to be him, and even he was noticeably good.
[‎12/‎31 8:24 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
He had a stand in...they all did... I assume he was doing the running.
[‎12/‎31 8:25 AM] Mr. Blue:
Probably
You could tell there was a hobble/limp to him, but I think that fits well, cuz Chewie is just old
The "reveal" of the Millennium Falcon is done well too
Nothing crazy... they just kinda reveal it like they would an actual human character.
That actually got the most audible response from the audience over anything. Even over jokes and fight scenes and stuff
[‎12/‎31 8:28 AM] Mr. Silver:
People love that hulk
[‎12/‎31 8:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
It seemed more "Star Wars" than the prequels, that's for sure
[‎12/‎31 8:34 AM] Mr. Silver:
One thing I was really happy with was dirt
Heh
First 3 movies, everything was "used", often beaten-used.
[‎12/‎31 8:35 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yep
[‎12/‎31 8:36 AM] Mr. Silver:
In the prequels everything was shiny and new, and clearly more advanced tech than "the future" stuff of 20 years later in 4-6.
[‎12/‎31 8:36 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[‎12/‎31 8:36 AM] Mr. Silver:
So I'm glad they made a real effort with that.
[‎12/‎31 8:37 AM] Mr. Blue:
I assume the originals had dirty tech by accident? Just for budget reasons and stuff? And Lucas thought he was "correcting" a "flaw" with the shiny tech in the prequels?
[‎12/‎31 8:37 AM] Mr. Silver:
No
I think the CGI just was incapable of doing dirt, and the art designers really wanted to show off too.
Meanwhile in the originals, everything was real.
Even the junk in Watto's shop was "clean" in Phantom Menace
I enjoyed the "fighting hurt" elements in this new one a lot.
"Hey! People are getting tired!  REALLY tired!  Nice!"
[‎12/‎31 8:55 AM] Mr. Blue:
At least in the sense that people get winged/burned by the light sabers and stuff
and then have to compensate or fight through it
[‎12/‎31 8:59 AM] Mr. Silver:
They didn't even do that too much in the originals.  Just Luke (rightly) beaten to a pulp all through Empire Strikes Back
[‎12/‎31 8:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[‎12/‎31 9:00 AM] Mr. Silver:
This one, people are wheezing and falling over and struggling to rally for another exchange.
Sweat!
Hehe
Kylo beating on himself to stay up despite the brutal bowcaster hit...nice!
[‎12/‎31 9:12 AM] Ms. Rose:
As Mr. Blue and I discussed yesterday, I absolutely loved everything about SW...except Kylo Ren. Or “Darth Sanchez”, as I call him.
[‎12/‎31 9:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
What was wrong with him?
I was hoping Han would have opened with "get a haircut"
[‎12/‎31 9:15 AM] Ms. Rose:
I didn't know anything about him before the movie. And all the mask-deep voice buildup made me think he was going to be reeeeally evil. He took off the mask the first time and that wimpy little voice squeaked out. Just mildly disappointing.
And yeah, he looks nothing like Han nor Leia.
[‎12/‎31 9:15 AM] Mr. Silver:
Dark Side does things to ya, maaaaan...
[‎12/‎31 9:16 AM] Ms. Rose:
He is not actually Hispanic (I've since Wikied) and he is supposedly a very talented and trained actor. But he just didn't fit all the way, IMO.
[‎12/‎31 9:16 AM] Mr. Silver:
Darth Chin” came to mind, actually
[‎12/‎31 9:16 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahaha!
[‎12/‎31 9:22 AM] Mr. Silver:
(von Sydow) "How do you fit all that hair and the chin in that little helmet?"
[‎12/‎31 9:23 AM] Ms. Rose:
LOL
(takes off mask) "Um, excuse me, evil dudes. Could we, like, talk about my mommy/daddy issues? My feels are hurting... kthx."
It wasn't that bad. I kid. :)
[‎12/‎31 9:19 AM] Mr. Blue:
I kinda liked the dichotomy of this evil brooding guy that takes off the mask and he's kinda fresh-faced and normal looking.



[‎12/‎31 9:26 AM] Mr. Blue:
Man. Lucas is a fucking idiot
He would've ruined this new one if he had any say in it
[‎12/‎31 9:28 AM] Mr. Silver:
I agree, he would have.
[‎12/‎31 9:28 AM] Ms. Rose:
"Okay, I will go my way, and I'll let them go their way. But we both end up at the bank, so it's cool."
[‎12/‎31 9:28 AM] Mr. Blue:
He just can't help but ruin things
If he had more of a budget the originals would've sucked too
His original script and storyboards were insane
[‎12/‎31 9:31 AM] Mr. Silver:
(Lucas at story-boarding, Working title - Star Wars VII: An Old Despair)
"And then, Darth Fencepost should stand stiffly and say 'The Dark Siiiiide'."
And Stik-Up-Buttobi should look blankly out the window and mumble 'There is still good in you'."
[‎12/‎31 9:32 AM] Ms. Rose:
ROFL
[‎12/‎31 9:36 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
I'm pretty sure his original idea had most characters, including Luke, being non-human.
[‎12/‎31 9:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
Luke was a dwarf.  Han was a lizard man.
[‎12/‎31 9:45 AM] Ms. Rose:
He seems so adamant that his "vision" is the ultimate and that everyone else just sucks. I think I read somewhere that he's banned from some director's or writer's guild or something, too. Like, a major one.
[‎12/‎31 9:45 AM] Mr. Blue:
I saw a good documentary called The People vs. George Lucas that talked about the relationship Star Wars fans had with him
[‎12/‎31 9:45 AM] Ms. Rose:
Oh, neat! I'd watch that.
[‎12/‎31 9:45 AM] Mr. Blue:
Basically just how they perceive him as both this guy that made something they love, but also this guy that is hell-bent on ruining the thing they love with re-releasing and re-cutting the originals and destroying the original copies
Like adding the "NOOOOOO", that weird jazz/r&b group, or young Anakin showing up at the end of episode 6, and not giving anyone the option to purchase an original version.
Or Greedo shooting first (or at all)...messed up. It doesn't even make sense that Greedo could fire and miss, simultaneously, while Han is shooting.
[‎12/‎31 9:47 AM] Ms. Rose:
I guess the original secrets will die with Stick-Up-Buttobi. *giggle*
[‎12/‎31 9:52 AM] Mr. Blue:
WTF... “After Luke hands Princess Leia his blaster in the chasm swing sequence, it sounds like Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum when she fires it. This is present in the Special Edition, but was changed back to a standard blaster sound in the DVD and the Blu-ray.”
Why??? TWICE???
[‎12/‎31 9:53 AM] Ms. Rose:
WOW

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