Saturday, February 8, 2020

586 - Hair Not There, Good Mob With A Gun, "Yins Don't Know Th' Pah-er Uh Th' Sath Sahd N'at", Outlook Has Sucked For Years, and A Post With A Lot Of Guts

[3:09 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I'm getting like a widow's peak.. like my hair around my temples is receding
This sucks
[3:10 PM] 
You think my hair looked like this on my forehead the whole time? 
[3:10 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yours went back too?
[3:10 PM] 
Yes
Starting younger than you
heh
[3:10 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I'm still good at the top and crown
I just hope it stops moving back
It makes it hard to comb / style cuz you might get a little peek of scalp if your bangs aren't done right
[3:11 PM] 
In my case, Mrs. Silver decided I was gonna grow it out to God Style
[3:56 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Go big or go home
Graying, receding hair expectations:
[4:01 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I've been Buccemied!
[4:03 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I'm looking at pics of my uncle and he's got the recessed temples in his mid 60s but still full head of hair otherwise
I think I'm alright
[4:10 PM] 



[2:57 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Why can't an active shooter go after Black Friday shoppers instead of school kids or concert venues?
[2:57 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Because they did not get a good deal yet
[3:09 PM] 
It'll happen
[3:12 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I think if somebody tries that they will get overtaken
Hit in the head with 100 toasters
Instead of a stoning its a toastering
[3:14 PM] 
(Killer makes his move...rips the festive paper and ribbon off his AR-15...levels it at the crowd...)
(Its grabbed out of his hands and 3 other people start grabbing at it)
"MINE!"
[3:14 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
hahaha!



[3:20 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
There's a running gag on Pittsburgh's reddit anytime someone asks what all the camera crews were doing in X neighborhood someone says "filming new Star Wars"
Which is really funny because of all the things they *could* be filming in Pittsburgh that seems like the least likely
[3:25 PM] 
Lol
[3:26 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
alien walks up to Rey "hey yinz see the Stillers yesterday?"
[3:26 PM] 
"The Star Wors Part Naihn - Goin' Aht Back with Them Jedis"
[3:26 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Yinzer Wars
Comin to dahn tahn near yinz
[3:28 PM] 
"Da Fourse is strong n'at"
[3:28 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I would watch that film
It would be amazing, n'at
[3:29 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
[opening crawl] “The Jedi and the Resistance are currently on the Rust Belt planet Alleghina, gathering reinforcements and training military recruits...”
[3:31 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Jagoff the Hutt
[3:31 PM] 
(applause!)
[3:32 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[3:33 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Bobbyfet
Han Solocup
dat der guy shoots furst ask dem questions later”
[3:36 PM] 
Donnie Solo
[3:36 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
There we go!
[3:36 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[3:37 PM] 
(Meanwhile ohn da Sath Side uh the galaxy, the Empror was bein' a total jag)
(Loogk) "Yoder?  Is da Cleveland Sihd stronger?"
(Yoder) "No way!  Dat, F-k!  Quicker an easier for ass chumps like dem Jags.  Go Stiller Side!" 
I can't post this...it's toxic
We'll end up with a Steeler Side of The Force, and I couldn't stomach that
[4:11 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh



[3:33 PM] 
Hate hate HATE this kind of email BS.
No errors
Some mail shows up some doesn't
This example was more than an hour delayed for no reason whatever that I can see
--
(Microsoft meeting about 8 years ago)
"Well, B.O., our biggest complaint is about email errors."
"Interesting, what is the general gist of them, F.U.?" 
"Well, B.O., mainly that there are too many of them.  And too many of them seem to say the same thing."
"Solutions.  Gimmie solutions.  U.Y.?"
"Keep all the error numbers but change all the definitions we used for them for 12 years.  Shake things up."
"Good.  What about you, A.H.?"
"The hardest ones to explain...we don't send any errors at all."
(Boardroom rhubarb)
"I LIKE IT!  Do 'em both!  And let's start working on a new personal mail client that just doesn't do or explain anything when it breaks.  Make it unfixable without reinstalling the OS."
"Yes SIR, B.O.!"
"Right away B.O.!"
"Oh...and someone convert me to gmail or something..."
"On it!"



[1:15 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Damn this is gory for the Post Gazette
Two women were stabbed, apparently with beer bottles, during a bar brawl early Monday morning in Penn Hills that left one victim with her intestines spilling out, according to the local police chief.
[1:25 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
damn
Were they fighting each other?
Cause that is a little overboard
[1:25 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yes
[1:33 PM] 
On the face of it, that kinda thing always strikes me as...well...really hard to accomplish without long deep slashes.
But people and the news say "stabbed".
Movies show "stabs"
Your abs just unzip or run like a damaged stocking?
[1:35 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[1:35 PM] 
You'd hardly think you could live without popping by mistake if bumped hard enough
[1:37 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I think the guts are so tightly packed that they kinda come out like one of those gag spring-in-a-cans
[1:47 PM] 
"The perfect gag for thoracic surgeons!"  
(which also points out I don't recall this explosion ever happening in surgery)
Also wondered if they meant more like this - https://i.ytimg.com/vi/GVfRO_gDeqc/maxresdefault.jpg
[1:53 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I think if the cut is in the lower abdomen gravity does the rest
typical wording is found in the 1401 ordinance from Oberursel:[9]
"and whoever is caught stripping off a standing tree, mercy would have been more beneficial to him than the law is; for when law is to be fulfilled, then one is to cut up his stomach at the navel, and pull out a length of the gut. The gut is to be nailed to the tree, and one is keep going around that tree with the person, so long as he still has any part of the gut left in his body"
[1:55 PM] 
I saw the self-mangle gut-walk thing done in a Viking theme movie as a way for a guy to claim territory for his family or somesuch. 
Made it 3 times around a megalith so got it for 30 years or something.
I believe "mercy" is used in the sense of "simple quick execution".
I recall Silver Junior said he read somewhere that after surgery they don't try to organize any of that.  just shove it in and sew it up and it all reorganizes itself to the right place
[1:57 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
That's interesting, sounds plausible
The reorganize thing
Otherwise surgeries would be hours of just neatly lining things back up again
In 1617, a merchant in the municipality Grossglockau[15] slit up his abdomen so that the intestines fell out; he then pulled out his stomach and threw it on the bed. The chronicler notes he lived long enough to regret his action.[16]
[2:00 PM] 
"Whoops"
[2:02 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
In 1593, a suicide occurred in Wimpfen. A young, pregnant woman, who had become a widow a few weeks before, was lying in her bed. She took a large knife, opened her belly in a cross, and threw out the fetus, her own intestines, and dug out her spleen and flung that out as well. She lived for 10 hours after the act, and when the priests sought to bring her a final consolation and blessing, she said it would all be in vain, because she was a daughter of the devil, and was beyond any sort of redemption. Then, she died, was put in a sack and thrown in the river. She was affluent, so it was clear that poverty had not driven her to this act.
I'd like that burial - put me in a sack and throw me in the river
In humans the intestine is divided into two major sections: the small intestine, which is about 6 m (20 ft) long,...; and the large intestine, which has a larger diameter and is about 1.5 m (5 ft) long
So it should be the short and the long intestines IMO
[2:25 PM] 
How about the Eattestines and the Craptestines?

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