Sunday, April 14, 2019

518 - Questionable Superheroes And A Miserly Christmas To All

[2:04 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
I think its interesting you have to have a license to watch TV in Britain
[2:07 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I watched TV in Britain and i didn't have a license
[2:10 PM] 
(Bobbie) "Sir, do you realize how fast you were watching?"
"Gee...ah...is there like a miles kilometer...TV thing?"
"Ignorance of the law is not an excuse sir.  American, sir?"
"Yes."
"Were you issued a traveler's TV license?"
"Well...I..."
"Step out of the recliner please.  No, don't bring your lager and crisps...just leave them on the table."
[2:12 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i wondered why i was on Interpol's Most Wanted
[2:12 PM] 
The license is for the TV itself, not watching it, Mr. Brown
[2:13 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Like a subscription?
[2:13 PM] 
No
You pay to register your Cars... They pay to register their TVs...
[2:14 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Weird
[2:14 PM] 
They could technically interfere with each other and be a nuisance to other “television operators”...back in like the 60s-70s...
It's a money grab now.
[2:15 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
I figured



[2:25 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
[2:41 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
the sexy standing lady is funny
for size comparison
Charlie's Angel decal
lol
[2:58 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yeah why is she standing like that?
and in high heels?
[3:00 PM]
(dramatic 70s cartoon narrator voice) "Meanwhile, Wendy, Marvin, and Wonderdog are unaware that they are about to be run down by a bevvy of barbarous birds!  Where oh where are the Superfriends?"    https://i.makeagif.com/media/6-14-2015/as7OVS.gif



[3:12 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i started watching He Man: Masters of the Universe on Netflix
it's not good
I'm still unclear on if everyone knows Prince Adam is also He-Man or not
I don't' remember it being basically his alter-ego like Superman or Batman and thus far nobody has said they recognized him
[3:15 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
yep
Man-At-Arms knows
[3:17 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
He doesn't even change.
His shirt comes off, that's it
No wonder they left that part out of the movie
"He-Man? Wow!  Where'd Prince Adam go?  And who was yelling 'I have the power!'? And where was all that noise and lightning coming from?"
[3:21 PM] 
"Uh oh...trouble.  Better put on my furry shorts."
[3:21 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
And WTF was with all those hallucinations of Castle Greyskull?
[3:35 PM] 
"Hey Prince Adam, I see you and your tiger look exactly like He-Man and Battle Cat even down to that Sword of Greyskull. If it wasn't for the pink shirt you'd be a dead ringer."



[8:36 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Who's the nature chick from Captain Planet, is that Gaya?
[8:41 AM] 
Gaia
[8:42 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
ah
[8:46 AM] 
The Nature Chick being the avatar, if-you-will, of the entire planet Earth as a living being.
[8:48 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
I’m looking up captain planet episodes and it looks like he squared off against Hitler
and Hitler had some some sort of penance stare that weakened captain
[8:49 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
See I was wondering what Hitler's other thought processes were
you know, not in front of everybody
like how far down the rabbit hole was he?
[8:50 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I think even his hidden thoughts were well known
Probably agnostic and certainly not catholic or christian, but was smart enough to not try to eliminate such institutions since most of his supporters were probably more religious than the non-supporters. He was vegan and i think he envisioned a vegan Germania, but also understood you can't just tell Germans to stop eating meat
[8:52 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
It's scary how smart he was about stuff
[8:52 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
He probably wasn’t that smart
[8:52 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Certainly charismatic
[8:52 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
yeah
[8:52 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
could fire people up
[8:52 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Definitely that
[8:53 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
he had a soft side though, he gave his autograph to Indiana Jones
[8:54 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
In a lot of those films he seems normalish
the home movie ones
[9:01 AM] 
...guess we've moved on from me pointing out the problems of the "Heart" ring... heh
Go on one little break and we shift in one step from Captain Planet to Hitler
[9:03 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
tee hee
[9:05 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
[9:06 AM] 
"Ve vish to make you an offer, Kapitan Planet.  Join vis us, und ve vill make you Obergruppenfuhrer Planet!"
[9:06 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
they did enact some of the earliest environmental protection laws, but then scrapped them once the war started
[9:07 AM] 
"Observe..."  (film starts...goose-stepping legions marked with Fire, Wind, etc...)
[9:08 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
"We must push East to expand our waldsraum!"
[9:08 AM] 
"Ja....you zee the vision, now.  Today you play mit kinder.  Tomorrow, vhat greatness could you achieve?"
[9:09 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Hitler standing over a experimental table,  a glowing gem on a gold band sings to him. He picks it up and yells HEART.
[9:09 AM] 
(Goebbels) "You vould head ze entire Gartenmacht...after der Fuhrer of course."
[9:14 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
(Title music) "Obergruppenfuhrer Planet / He's the ubermensch / Gonna bury the Poles / In a trench"
Not a lot rhymes with mensch
[9:17 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
So what if you broke all the gems out and put them together on one ring?
[9:18 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
or a gauntlet of sorts...
[9:18 AM] 
[9:19 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
then call on the Captain and give it to him to wear himself
[9:19 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
The power is mine, bitches! *hip thrust*
[9:21 AM] 
Hehe
[9:21 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Hmm. Could do a good yet bad Captain
Like he goes overboard and decides to wipe the world of the cause of pollution.
Humans
Suddenly realizes humans are the issue
[9:22 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
[9:22 AM] 
"Earth!  Water!  Wind!  Fire!  The Force!" 
(Lucas) "The lawsuit!"
(3 months later)
"Earth!  Water!  Wind!  Fire!  Quintessence!" 
(Everyone) "What?"
(1 month later)
"Earth!  Water!  Wind!  Fire!  ...Mana?"
"Uhh..."
(1 week later)  "Earth!  Water!  Wind!  Fire!  ...(sigh) Heart..."   
[9:24 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
I like how one week he's struggling to lift up a tree off the ground and the next he chucks an oil tanker across the ocean
Or one episode they open a container and there's 2 tigers: "oh no!"
So wind girl pushes one out of the way
"oh no, what will we do, there's another one!"
Uh, that thing you JUST did?
[9:26 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
They are powerful enough the episodes would never need Captain Planet or be over too fast if they did not make them all inept
[9:26 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Yeah, they are all pretty dumb
That's who I'd give rings to
[9:26 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Two tigers? Hey Heart boy use your power. 
[9:27 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Well it was her and Fire guy,
That would've turned into a PETA lawsuit
[9:27 AM]
“So you used fire, and being an animal it ran in fear.”
“Oh. That would have been a LOT better than torching it.”
"You what!?"
"I used fire and... well..."
"You barbecued a tiger!"
[9:27 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
WE combined our powers of Wind and Fire to make a 90s movie: BACKDRAFT!
Heart should be given to Al Pacino
Don't ask me why, just feels right
[9:35 AM] 
(thumping table in passion and frustration) "I got da power-a HART!  HART!  Whadda you got?!"



[10:04 AM] 
This is the time of year I love Ebenezer Church Rd the most
(grouchy sneering pastor walking the pews in a windowless decrepit church with an accounts book)
"Ah...the Havershams!  You still owe two pounds six on your tithe."  (holds out dish)
"But Father.  Times have been hard, and it's Christmas.  An extension, please!" 
"Two pounds six!  Is this your signature?"  
"Aye...but we're barely making it.  Next Sunday?"
(Canny glare...) "Very well.  Next Sunday...but it'll be Two pound Eleven."
"But!"
"Two pound eleven or I'll have you and yours excommunicated!  Sign here!" 
(Waits...snatches book... Next pew)  "Ackroyd... Your donation is 15 shillings."  (holds out dish)
[10:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Heheh
at

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