Saturday, March 16, 2019

510 - So Would Kirk Pop The Alien Queen?

[2:02 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I watched Hitman's Body Guard last night
I thought it was funny
39% on Rotten Tomatoes
[2:13 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
What'd Maltin give it
[2:17 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Who is Maltin?
[2:27 PM] 
Leonard Maltin, the film critic
Most famous with MST3K folk for his rating for Laserblast vs a pile of good movies.
[2:34 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Laserblast rated higher than Blade Runner, The Thing, Taxi Driver...
Laserblast is better than The Shining (2 stars)
and The Dark Knight (2 stars)
The Shawshank Redemption and Sophie's Choice are equal to Laserblast
Terminator 2 and Laserblast... virtually identical, according to Leonard Maltin
On a Saturday night, Maltin throws a bag of popcorn in the microwave and furrows his brow as he tries to decide if he should toss in Terminator 2 or Laserblast
Imagine that decision taking more than a nanosecond
[2:45 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
lol
[2:45 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Did you watch the Laserblast mst3k? i think it's on Netflix
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
yes
[2:46 PM] 
yes
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
It's not the worst mst3k-screened movie, but it's still a pretty bad movie
[2:46 PM] 
Finally watched it after years of hearing about it
It was ultra 70s
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I'm a claymation alien that shoots cars
[2:47 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
That was the best part - the claymation
[2:47 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Guy turns into a crazy zombie after finding an infected medallion
[2:55 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Roddy McDowall makes an appearance and gets quickly blown up, as i recall
Oh, and him blowing up the big billboard that just said "STAR WARS" on it
[2:59 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
So apparently they spelled McDowall's name wrong in the credits
[3:05 PM] 
The film was obviously patched together out of order in places
Heh... the opener. 
Let's track down the mad ET gunman with his insanity-causing power supply or whatever...
And then just leave the equipment there on earth...
And then act surprised halfway home when we get a signal that someone has started using it...
Turn the ship around...
Fly all the way back and take care of it...
And...
LEAVE THE EQUIPMENT THERE AGAIN!
[3:10 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Xenomorphs are smarter than them
[3:16 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
In the review, Laserblast was described as "an incomprehensible blending" of popular recent films like Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, with a script "so disordered we could not be certain that the reels were being run in proper sequence".
[3:18 PM] 
Yes!
[3:19 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Uh i don't know what we have here. Lets just throw it together and run it
[3:22 PM] 
Maybe the 2 ½ stars were the kid, the girlfriend, and the remains of Roddy McDowell



[3:23 PM] 
So...life-size Facehugger
People were all cooing over it and it being cool and “want one”...including Mr. Gray who passed the ad to me...
[3:24 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Feeds you candy
lol
A Facehugger mask that is a candy dispenser would be cool
[3:24 PM] 
Until someone noticed how anatomically correct the underside was...lady-parts wise. 
"Um...that kinda looks like..."
"It exactly looks like..."
[3:25 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
lol
Can use it for the sex talk
[3:26 PM] 
The very picture
[3:27 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
"So dad, when does she lay eggs in me again?"
[3:29 PM] 
(My reply post) "Gee.  Who could have ever guessed that Giger would have designed a hyper-sexualized alien horror?  Why next you'll be trying to convince me that the whole xenomorph life-cycle is intentionally a perverse body-horror aberration of human sexuality!"
Mr. Gray laughed - "I never even noticed before."
[3:32 PM] 
I assumed it was sarcasm
Hell...the Alien queen has high heels on.”
I showed that to Mr. Gray later, live. He really HADN'T noticed before.
[3:34 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
BDSM aliens
[3:35 PM] 
Gasp!  Nay!
Giger probably isn't SFW to look up...
Heh... "probably"



[11:03 AM] 
"You, sir, are assuming a lot about turkeys.  Also I beat your pattern with no effort on the first try."
[11:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I was staring at the picture of a turkey looking for a hidden one
I didn't even scroll down
so not looking good for me answering any riddles



[9:13 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
I saw an article that said we humans have created an invisible barrier that only recently we have discovered around the earth
[9:14 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
What, trash? Yeah
[9:14 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Radio frequencies, i believe
Trying to remember exactly what i read
[9:14 AM] 
(Agent Smith) "Do you know what I hate most about humans, Mr. Anderson?  The smell barrier."
[9:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
[9:15 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
scientists have discovered, The Atmosphere
[9:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
That might not be it
Probably another invisible sheild
lol
[9:19 AM] 
"Your feeble energy shield will not protect you for long.  Ha.   Ha.    Ha.    Ha.    Haaaaaaa."  http://www.badmovies.org/movies/prinspace/prinspace1.jpg
[9:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
:-D




[9:46 AM] 
Rented Star Trek 4...unwatched yet though.  People wanted to do things
"And then we'll watch 6 and we'll be done."
"What about the others."
"We'll watch 6 and be done."
"What about #5?"
"La la la la la la...."
"Are there any after 6?"
"Busy...sorry..."
"Was Khan the first one?  I thought there was another first."
"Only I like that one."
[9:52 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Which is 4?
search for spock?
or the voyage home?
I liked the 1st one but i can see why people didn't.
The special effects were surprisingly good
khan is good, search for Spock i recall being dull, voyage home is good, i never bothered with 5 and the undiscovered country is good
[9:55 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
which one had the ear bug?
[9:55 AM]
Khan. 
Khan, Search, Voyage and Undiscovered Country all follow the same storyline even if Search is weak.
The whole framing of Kirk and for hating Klingons to get him out of the way
Then there was 1, 5, and the forgettable crossover
[9:57 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Which one did Kirk kill his wife in?
[9:58 AM] 
Kirk was never married...so...none.
Star Trek 0 - The Search For Plot
[10:01 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
He had the accidental son
lol
[10:02 AM] 
As far as the “seek out new life” and the “where no man has gone” themes, and how tiny the Federation et al was in the grand scheme of the Star Trek galaxy, I think #1 is the best movie.
The writers did well with the Borg, but I'm wondering if V'Ger would have been casually interested, downloaded their entire collective, and then just wiped them out as a cybernetic contamination of machines.
More info for the Creator
V'Ger had "tiny" parts that were bigger than a Borg cube.



[1:54 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I have a new slogan for Cherikee Red pop - "*STHHSSSS-Klick* MMM AHHHH... Racism tastes GOOOOOD"
[1:55 PM] 
Crisp refreshing Injun taste!”
[1:55 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
"When I'm handing out smallpox infected blankets, I always have a refreshing Cherikee Red pop"
[1:58 PM] 
[1:59 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Actually, looking again, it says soda on the can. lol
[2:23 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
On Always Sunny their running gag is "Wolf Cola"
It started as a shell company for Frank to use to launder money and get tax breaks but then they got audited by the IRS so they had to make real Wolf Cola
So they invite the IRS auditor to a baby's funeral (the one Dee was claiming as a dependent for tax breaks) and they're drinking Wolf Cola while giving the eulogy...
"Wolf Cola ladies and gentlemen... The right cola for closure."

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