[11:46
AM] Mr. Brown:
First
one is Clint Howard
[11:51
AM] Mr. Silver:
They
included Danny Trejo?
[11:51
AM] Mr. Brown:
Yep
[11:53
AM] Mr. Silver:
"Actors
I see in about every movie I know nothing about"
Hate
to call them out, but Danny has decidedly “made it”.
So
the (show) casters finally contacted me back about my big Airplane
Scene. They just called Mrs. Silver.
[2:48
PM] Mr. Blue:
"We
decided to get Danny Trejo instead."
[2:49
PM] Mr. Silver:
"We
decided we wanted an extremely popular unknown"
I
was hoping my career would move up to "guy in Bermuda shirt at
bank", then "Guy with gun with hands up", and finally
"Guy cringing from explosion"
[2:49
PM] Mr. Blue:
What'd
they say?
[2:50
PM] Mr. Silver:
(Mrs.
Silver) “She said unfortunately, they did not need you.”
[2:50
PM] Mr. Blue:
Bummer
[2:51
PM] Mr. Silver:
Well...we'll
always have that 5 minutes in (Town) (sheds tear...bittersweet
montage starts rolling)
[2:51
PM] Mr. Blue:
Shortest
acting highlight reel in history
[2:51
PM] Mr. Silver:
I'm
sure I'm still in the sucker pile
Yes...
That is confirmed
[3:04
PM] Ms. Rose:
Sorry,
Mr. Silver. :( You'll always be Guy Who Falls Asleep on Airplane to
us.
[9:01
AM] Mr. Silver:
"So-named
because they are: 1. Rare, 2. Blue, 3. Flashes, and 4. look a bit
like a berry Danish. Also 5. this title fails to mention the
actual name used for the phenomenon then clumps names of
different phenomenon together and so is basically a failure pile."
(Sigh...)
"A
top international team comprising The Group to Like Study Plants and
Stuff recently published the results of their funding, and the
results are astonishingly intuitive."
[10:57
AM] Mr. Blue:
Obsolotely
fuscinating
[10:57
AM] Mr. Silver:
(Scientist)
"We're really hoping to get more funding for our next study into
whether plants grow better in dirt than piles of gravel. We're
up against the Dirt and Beans in a Cup Institute on that research."
[10:59
AM] Mr. Brown:
I
guess they might have been thinking that they could co exist and
maybe removing them would cause more harm than good
But
still seems like dumb study
[11:00
AM] Mr. Blue:
Even
if they did coexist or not directly conflict with each other,
removing the invasive species would give the native species more
space and less competition.
Like,
if you have a forest that's half native pines and half invasive
pines... cut down the invasives. The natives now have twice the space
and twice the nutrients
[11:01
AM] Mr. Silver:
I
still think these kinds of articles are the equivalent of phys.org's
"The Onion".
[9:52
AM] Mr. Brown:
“Can
you tell me the options on the screen?”
"I
can spell them off to ya but I can't read."
Ranger
WV is where this guy is from
[9:54
AM] Mr. Silver:
How
the Hell do these illiterates keep getting contracts?
"If
you say the letters fast enough, sometimes they sound like the
words. That's half your battle right there!"
[9:54
AM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
[9:55
AM] Mr. Silver:
"You're
from Ranger...try it: ArrAyEnnGeeEeeArr!"
"Nah...don't
wanna bother."
"Well,
then Effusikay Whyo-oo."
"Huh?"
"Sorry...I
meant to say Whyoyou."
"...Oh...Ok."
"Excellent!
You're getting it now!"
"I...uh...
Thanks. Bye."
[10:00
AM] Mr. Brown:
Some
lady in the background said he would call back later and hung up;
I
broke his brain
[10:01
AM] Mr. Silver:
"What
shapes and colors do you see on the screen?"
[10:04
AM] Mr. Blue:
If
you can't read... man... He must not have gotten past what, 2nd
grade?
Which
means he can't add or subtract? Would he even know colors and
shapes?
[10:05
AM] Mr. Silver:
(Anthropologist
in back of brain taps Silver's shoulder)
"You
suppose the ability to differentiate these figures to create and read
languages had to evolve first, or was it built in and adapted for the
purpose."
"I
suppose it's not impossible. Take the isolated tribes who, when
presented photographs, can identify people and objects in them but
have no concept of holding them oriented the right way up and can't
take instruction to learn the trick."
[10:14
AM] Mr. Blue:
I
don't follow about the tribes.
[10:14
AM] Mr. Silver:
It's
ok...this happens in my head all day
[10:15
AM] Mr. Blue:
It
sounds interesting
[10:20
AM] Mr. Silver:
Well,
during an anthropologist project in the Amazon, the team encountered
groups that just couldn't do it. They liked the whole idea of
the photos but they would just hold them any old which way. The
team couldn't get the people to orient the photos right side up.
Orientation was irrelevant to them.
So,
considering the earlier part of the conversation: Can someone like
that learn to read?
Is
it super dyslexia?
If
full isolated bands of humans have that...is it a leftover that was
bred out?
Or
is it irrelevant - like my reading: I can read upside-down,
backwards, mirror, from the side. Some take a bit more getting
used to and italics are a bitch in a mirror, but I do it.
If
a team did a genetic study, would the tag (KIAA0319) show up in all
of them?
Too
bad I screwed up getting that Anthy degree, eh?
[10:47
AM] Mr. Blue:
How
could they not know how to orient photos?
So
the team took photos of the tribe, and the tribe didn't know what was
in the photos?
Even
a dog recognizes itself in a mirror.
[10:49
AM] Mr. Silver:
No,
they knew what everything was
They
just oriented everything at random
"Oh!
That's my grandmother, X!" (holding it rotated 140 degrees)
[10:50
AM] Mr. Blue:
Weird
[10:51
AM] Mr. Silver:
"Why
don't you hold it like this, like you are looking at her face to
face?"
"I
don't get it. Its her."
But
they all did it, with everything.
It
would imply that even the straight edges and angles didn't really
register.
The
paper itself would be like holding any other leaf, perhaps.
[10:58
AM] Mr. Blue:
Wouldn't
you orient it the same direction you would when you look straight
ahead?
[10:58
AM] Mr. Silver:
We
would. We do. None of them did unless by chance
Final
thought - I wonder if any animals besides reading humans have any
sense of orientation at all. Facing yes...but rotation? I
can't think of any useful purpose and obvious disadvantages to
registering such a thing.
[11:53
AM] Mr. Brown:
Well,
I mean we naturally have orientation to stand upright, but if we
don't have to look at something and say this is the top this is the
bottom this is the sides then we would not know how to do that.
[11:55
AM] Mr. Silver:
You
know it's a lion looking at you even if you are lying on your
side...and that's important.
[11:56
AM] Mr. Brown:
Right.
We know up and down only because from small child age you are taught
'no you are holding that spoon the wrong way this is the top this is
the bottom.'
With
an uninstructed toddler, they just grab it and try to use it.
Also
makes you think of some of the really ancient “writing”
Is
there really a left right top bottom to the text?
Or
were you supposed to just look at it and know what it was saying?
[12:16
PM] Mr. Silver:
You
look at photos of cave painting and rock art details and the
publication will often orient it so it is shown how we like things to
look.
But,
like in this case, you put a person next to it, and you get this
effect a lot - Cattle doesn't walk like that
Why
did some pre-Old Kingdom, pre-writing Egyptians (there's more than
one artist if you look close, but the featured 3 are from someone
talented) render cattle oriented like that? One could argue the
stones shifted, but even turning them back, now the other ones are
all all rotated funny.
(files
new theories away in the dump in the back of my mind on the pile
marked "Research if you ever have millions of dollars and don't
need a job)
[9:38
AM] Mr. Blue:
Dam
failures are badass
[9:45
AM] Mr. Silver:
Always
a crowd-pleaser disaster in movies
Oh
sure, you can have your flash-boom explosions, but there's nothing
like a nice slow build to catastrophic failure that you get to watch
as you futilely try to stop it or get away
[9:51
AM] Mr. Blue:
[movie
trailer guy] "Man has always loved his dams... But what happens
when the dams say, 'no more!'"
[9:54
AM] Mr. Silver:
"Final
Dam Nation... Starring Jean Claude Van Damme"
[9:54
AM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[9:56
AM] Mr. Blue:
And
featuring the voice of Samuel L. Jackson as The Dam
"Yes
they deserve to drown! And I hope they drown in Hell!"
[9:57
AM] Mr. Silver:
And
Dam Judi Dench...
[9:58
AM] Mr. Blue:
With
guest appearances by John Waters and Dick Van Dyke
[9:59
AM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
You
guys... LOL
[9:59
AM] Mr. Silver:
Woo!
(At
the Oscars) "And now a scene from our next Best Actress nominee:
Dam Helen Mirren in 'Final Dam Nation'.”
(lights
dam. Dim. Oscar Bait scene plays)
"I
feel just awash with tremendous pressure, John. It's like
something is building and building behind some...barrier. And I'm
afraid if I have to take much more it's all going to start spilling
over! What if I crack, John? Oh! What if it breaks me? And
all those people in the valley who need me to be strong? I can't just wash them away like they're nothing."
(lights
raise, audience clapping)
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