[9:33
AM] Mr. Silver:
Sorry
to report that the "Make Ms. Rose Hate Mr. Silver" editing
process is still moving along.
[9:34
AM] Ms. Rose:
GD
it!
I
mean...
Uhhh,
great!
[1:07
PM] Mr. Silver:
So
after I lengtherfixadetailize this book of mine, do you recommend
experienced editing, just throwing it on the Kindle, or burning?
[1:21
PM] Ms. Rose:
Douse
with gasoline, then set on fire. Best way.
I
will read your entire book ONE more time. Just ONE. If you edit after
that, you are on your own.
:P
[1:38
PM] Mr. Silver:
(blows
out match) Oh.
[1:39
PM] Ms. Rose:
And
we are not doing this whole "let's talk about it, one chapter at
a time" thing again. I'll read and edit, start to finish. I will
go through a few red pens. If you don't like it, then... *hands you
Bic lighter* :P
[1:40
PM] Mr. Silver:
That
could work
"What's
all this slashing from chapter 3 through 27?"
"And
the soaking in red paint til the end?"
An
author's editor tale for you
One
of guys in my writers group said, a week back:
"You
know, it's funny. My (historic naval epic) - I wrote 275000
words in three novels and I basically wrote it all in one go.”
“And
I eventually got an editor to go through it as a freebie favor.
And we got together afterwards and she said:
"There's
no plot"."
"I
was stunned. 'But what about this? And the thing that happened
with that? And these characters? And him finally getting
his revenge on X?'."
"She
looked at me, and whispered: "There's no plot"."
[2:35
PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[2:35 PM Mr. Silver]
“She
said:
"What
you have is 3 novel-sized collections of a man sailing somewhere,
seeing something, a battle, and then it does that over and over until
he catches up with the ship from chapter 1 and sinks it.
There's nothing tying it together except your guy."
She
was right, of course
I
could only ever get through one and a half of them, myself
He
had all sorts of good elements, but nothing ever seemed to gel.
[2:46
PM] Ms. Rose:
Really
good, non-just-technical editors could have probably fixed that. But
that's like the Harry Potter realm of publishing.
[2:47
PM] Mr. Silver:
(Editor)
"It's just an awkward orphan at a boarding school. What if he
was hated by everyone but a couple kids, and one family that everyone
thinks are bums?"
(Rowling)
"I don't..."
(Editor)
"And the headmaster and all the teachers should be in prison for
child endangerment?"
(Rowling)
"No! Look here, this is a story about-"
(Editor)
"And they can all do magic."
(Rowling)
"Oh! … Hmm... I like that..."
[2:48
PM] Ms. Rose:
I
never bought that "wrote Harry Potter on a napkin in a coffee
shop" story that J.K. Rowling tells. I mean, THAT story is more
magical than the Hogwart's stuff.
[2:49
PM] Mr. Silver:
Think
I should tell the press I stole my text from another dimension while
I was in a coffee shop?
[2:50
PM] Ms. Rose:
After
it sells a million copies? Yes!
[2:50
PM] Mr. Silver:
Wanna
hear something funny?
[2:50
PM] Ms. Rose:
I
bet you'll tell me, even if I don't!
[2:50
PM] Mr. Silver:
I
actually did lay out the story frame and commit to writing it in
(coffee shop) over a cup of Earl Gray
[2:51
PM] Ms. Rose:
>:-|
[2:52
PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes,
at the one and only NanoWriMo meeting I ever went to.
They
gave me the rules and suggestions and a pile of stuff as tools to
keep going. The tools might still be in a pile somewhere
[2:53
PM] Ms. Rose:
Pile
of stuff, eh? Like coke?
[2:53
PM] Mr. Silver:
I
kept the rules and one suggestion: "If it's going too well, ruin
the heroes' day"
[2:53
PM] Ms. Rose:
Coke'll
keep you going for DAYS.
[2:54
PM] Mr. Silver:
Wouldn't
know. Within my means I had to commit to the 'Starving' so that I
could choose between the Balzac and Hemmingway schools of chemical
writing.
I
decided to go for the alcoholic "type slower and slower till all
starts going black and you wake up slumped over and freezing at 3am"
over the caffeinated "type faster and faster til your heart
starts palpitating, you start missing keys and can't stop twisting in
bed"
[2:55
PM] Ms. Rose
Your book is a study in taking "ruin his day" to heart all the way to
the end.
[3:21
PM] Mr. Silver:
(X)
and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Diabolic Paladinic
Quest
[3:24
PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
BETTER title!
(X)
Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Not-Really-Plot Lines
[3:31
PM] Mr. Silver:
Gasp!
I
mean...I can give that title to my buddy
But
are you saying my book has no plot?
"Your
book needs a plot...to bury it in."
[3:33
PM] Ms. Rose:
I
mean...has your friend read Moby Dick? Or Master and Commander? Does
he know that the no-plot-super-lengthy-guy-with-power-complex novel
is a done deal?
[3:33
PM] Mr. Silver:
Actually
I pointed out that it was more like Horatio Hornblower stuff
[3:33
PM] Ms. Rose:
"Here
lies (X). 19-whatever-before-editor-was-born through 2017. Beloved
plot-less character."
[3:34
PM] Mr. Silver:
And
his (Y) is rather a guy-with-no-power sort of hero
(Captain
Ahab) "And I tell ye all! If any man of ye sees a white
flank. If any of ye sees the ivory beast breech or sights its
devil tail and calls out ye've seen Moby Dick, ye'll have this
publishing contract!" And with that, Ahab hammered the
pages to the mast.
[3:37
PM] Ms. Rose:
Moby
Dick is one of my faves. Also the "second perspective"
novel, Ahab's Wife by what's her name. Sena something.
[3:37
PM] Mr. Silver:
Let
me guess – 500 densely-written pages describing the house and
neighborhood with her obsessing on how Ahab is never home?
[3:37
PM] Ms. Rose:
I
have read Moby Dick like 300 times. Which is 299 times more than I
read yours.
:P
[3:38
PM] Mr. Silver:
Then
you know how far off that quote was.
[3:38
PM] Ms. Rose:
:-D
[3:38
PM] Mr. Silver:
I
only used it once before for a garbage recovering space-harpoon
satellite news story
(Day
231 – Mr. Silver)
[1:51
PM] Ms. Rose:
I'm
going to be RICH!
https://hardware.slashdot.org/story/17/02/07/143202/if-you-owned-a-pc-with-a-dvd-drive-you-might-be-able-to-claim-10
[1:52
PM] Mr. Silver:
Why,
I cashed out on a class action suit only yesterday.
I
seems Wells Fargo was caught doing some mortgage insurance thing and
we WON! Money Money Money!
We
got the check!
Our
share was like $4.32
(Mrs.
Silver) "And the lawyers got 50 million, I'm sure."
"Oh
I'm sure, yes."
It
was the principle of the nothing
[2:11
PM] Mr. Blue:
Who'd
you rather have that money, Wells Fargo or some shyster lawyer?
[2:16
PM] Mr. Silver:
I
think they should have sent it to ME so I could make an informed
decision
"I've
thought it over carefully and have decided on a quick name change and
nice house in an undisclosed country."
[2:36
PM] Mr. Brown:
[2:39
PM] Ms. Rose:
Oh,
BARF! (Note to self: No more looking at Brown's links on lunch.)
[2:40
PM] Mr. Silver:
"After
shedding the scales, further provocation causes the gecko to apply an
egg wash, followed by a heavy coat of spiced breading. As a
final defense the gecko will immerse itself in hot oil until crispy,
lay on a toasted bun with a spicy mayo, lettuce and tomato, and serve
itself immediately with fries."
[2:41
PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
Was
it just discovered by humans, or just discovered by Daily Mail?
[2:43
PM] Mr. Silver:
"White
scientists ignored the species for years, classifying it as native
legend until a team 'discovered' them this year."
(Scientist
being interviewed) "We were very excited when we ran across one
of these cryptids - quite by chance - in a shoebox that 'Charlie'
here handed us when we asked the ingredients in our favorite lunch
here in Madagascar."
[2:45
PM] Mr. Brown:
One
heck of a pet, that gecko
Every
time you hold it
“AWW
MAN!”
[2:46
PM] Ms. Rose:
"DNA
workups are being performed to determine the gecko's exact lineage to
the GEICO gecko."
[2:47
PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
[2:50
PM] Mr. Blue:
I'm
glad humans don't slough off our skin when we get nervous or agitated
[3:02
PM] Mr. Silver:
The
Malagasy name for it literally translates to "E-Z Peel Dinner".
[3:02
PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[9:44
AM] Mr. Blue:
[9:46
AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahaha
[9:46
AM] Mr. Brown:
“Putin
Recall”
[9:54
AM] Mr. Silver:
Was
expecting Bannon when it started playing on my FB this morning.
(officer)
"And how long will your presidency be lasting until the whole
world thinks you are ridiculous?"
(Trump)
"T-twoo w-weeeeksssss"
[9:55
AM] Mr. Blue:
Whoever
made that should make a “Kuato” Bannon
[9:55
AM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
"Close
your miiiiind....Cloooose your miiiind."
[9:56
AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[9:58
AM] Mr. Brown:
A
puppet from a puppet
[10:00
AM] Mr. Blue:
"Donnalld....
Donnallld... Wall-off the booorder...."
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