394 - Satan's Task Is Pretty Light, California Workplace Violations, Skinky Peepers, and General Patton Had A Giftcard For Poetry

[‏8:03 AM] Mr. Silver: http://www.clickhole.com/article/look-away-christians-it-devil-4394

Lovely bit of mockery, that

[‏8:05 AM] Mr. Blue:
lol   

[‏8:06 AM] Mr. Silver:
My "world is going to end (though it didn't)" friend is predictably one of those. 
What was the last...

Some cartoon had a dragon in it and that's the Devil so it can't be witnessed or...um...a cartoon will force you to become a Satanist or something.

If your faith is that feeble, you might as well give up now.   

[‏8:09 AM] Mr. Blue:
Exactly
You're probably on the losing team anyway if it's that easy. 

[‏8:11 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Jesus is my lord and savior, and I love him dearly and hold him within my heart!  Oops!  I saw this in an Archie Comic, am now abandoned by Jesus, and will burn for eternity in Hell!"  http://rlv.zcache.com/hot_stuff_the_little_devil_with_pitchfork_classic_round_sticker-r63eab64529d94707936f6b2f0d67ef0c_v9waf_8byvr_324.jpg

[‏8:12 AM] Mr. Blue:
The easily bamboozled Christian  

[‏8:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
According to this logic, reading the words Devil, Satan, Baal and the like in the Bible dooms a fellow.
I think I'll point that one out if it comes up. 
"Hey Jim.  Lucifer is the light-bearer.  You don't have any lightbulbs in the house do you?"
"...I'm just pointing out that the only lights that come from God are Day, Sun, Moon, Stars and Fire.  So Lucifer is the bearer of all the rest and he Fell.  Anyway...good night."

His wife would kill me if he fell for that.

[‏1:40 PM] Mr. Silver:
Family Feud "Name something that if you do it too much on the job, you'll soon be out of that job"
Best answer "Wrestling!"
"Ah...(shrug)...why not? Wrestling?"  XXX!!!

[‏1:41 PM] Ms. Rose:
DRINKING! 

[‏1:41 PM] Mr. Silver:
Surprisingly, drinking, having sex, and doing drugs were on the list but being late was not.
Perhaps a California state of mind.

[‏1:42 PM] Ms. Rose:
If you're addicted to alcohol/drugs/sex, you're likely going to be late all the time anyway.

[‏1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
"I've called you in because with are having an issue with your frequency of drinking, getting high and boinking in the back room.  It's getting a bit out of hand and you need to cut back.  BTW, thanks for coming in on time twice this week...good job."

[‏1:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
"You've been in boinking in Aux for 35 minutes this week.  That's 5 minutes over your allocated time.  Please initial here."

[‏1:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Tree frogs = spring peepers, or something else?

[‏1:43 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)
Tree frogs probably = anything except actual frogs on trees.

[‏1:45 PM] Mr. Brown:
Is there more than one type of tree frog here in PA?

[‏1:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
I think there's probably a few that can go up in trees
I just know of spring peepers because they're vocal

[‏1:46 PM] Mr. Silver:
I just like the word peepers

[‏1:46 PM] Ms. Rose:
Cope's Gray and Eastern Gray, actually.

http://www.paherps.com/herps/frogs-toads/paherps.com

...not to be mistaken with paherpes.com

[‏1:47 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL

[‏1:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
Paherpaderps.com

[‏1:48 PM] Mr. Brown:
Paherps is at it again
I'm still proud of finding a blue tale skink

[‏1:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
Err merr Gerd! Pernserverniern trerp fergs!

https://www.google.com/search?q=herp+a+derp&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiHxOedpvjMAhVIFlIKHYPACVAQsAQIHA&biw=1141&bih=766

[‏1:49 PM] Ms. Rose:
LOLOLOL

[‏1:49 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hmm... "I can count to potato"...good one

[‏1:49 PM] Ms. Rose:
I liked that as well.

[‏1:50 PM] Mr. Blue:
I think I saw a blue tailed skink once

[‏1:51 PM] Mr. Brown:
I saw a few in Gettysburg
I have not found one around here yet

[‏1:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Salamanders are cool

[‏1:52 PM] Ms. Rose:
https://www.google.com/search?q=blue+sink&espv=2&biw=1280&bih=877&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiwz5qSp_jMAhVDdlIKHa-XBr8Q_AUICCgD

[‏1:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
They always kinda throw me off. They just don't seem like they should be around here

[‏1:52 PM] Mr. Silver:
Blue sinks are rather rare...

[‏1:52 PM] Ms. Rose:
And expensive!

[‏1:59 PM] Mr. Silver:
(PA park ranger) "Hey!  Skink!  Yeah you, don't give me that look... You a native to Pennsylvania?"

"Si senor."

"Oh yeah?  Prove it." 

"Pens ru-el!  Donnee Ireeze."

"Well...." 

"Ying ling cerbesa... Go Esteeleres!"

"Ok...I guess you can't fake something like that.  Move along."

[‏2:05 PM] Mr. Blue:
lol

[‏9:14 AM] Ms. Rose:
Seriously, Mr. Blue. Does your mom just have a stack of gift cards sitting at home?! She won another... :P
Did I upset him?

[‏9:17 AM] Mr. Silver:
I have a stack of gift cards...

[‏9:18 AM] Ms. Rose:
I have a stack of bills...

[‏9:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
This a Ludacris song?
"Check out the oil my Cadillac spills"
"Stack of gift cards, stack o bills”

“Check out the oil my Cadillac spills"

[‏9:31 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahahaha! 

[9:31 AM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe

[‏9:41 AM] Ms. Rose:
Mr. Silver has a stack of gift cards;
Ms. Rose’s stack of bills makes her blue.
Mr. Brown has a stack of bugs to eat,
And probably also the flu.
Blue's mom doesn't care about anyone's stacks,
because she is a Cheaty McCheater-face and her son is too!

[‏10:00 AM] Mr. Silver:
(watches for remaining couplet)
(looks at clock)
Poetried yourself into a corner with no final zinger, eh?

[‏10:02 AM] Ms. Rose:
I don't play by the Poetry Man's rules.

[‏10:20 AM] Mr. Silver:
At least it wasn't the ultimate insult: "Free Verse"
"Hmmm...I'm incapable of handling rhyme and meter...my "poetical prose" is a joke.  I'll just write bad prose and call it a poem."

(artsy friends looking at results) "Da hell is this?" 
"Poetry"
"It is not."
"It's Free Verse."
"Sounds new!  It must be BRILLIANT!"

[‏10:25 AM] Ms. Rose:
I kind of hate poetry in general. But free verse is the worst.

[‏10:25 AM] Mr. Silver:
Well, it's not poetry, so...yeah.

[‏10:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
I'm not a fan of poetry either
I like some stuff from uhh... Housman?
Mostly because it's simple, rhymes and paints a clear picture
 **

The street sounds to the soldiers' tread,
  And out we troop to see:
A single redcoat turns his head,
  He turns and looks at me.
My man, from sky to sky's so far,
  We never crossed before;
Such leagues apart the world's ends are,
  We're like to meet no more;
What thoughts at heart have you and I
  We cannot stop to tell;
But dead or living, drunk or dry,
  Soldier, I wish you well.

[‏10:34 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes, soldier who I'll ne'er again see
Just gotta say, "better you than me"
(slaps self for being smarmy bastage)

[‏10:37 AM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
Just kind of a simple: "Hey dude, I dunno you, you dunno me, but uhh... good luck out 'ere"
Ever see the movie “Patton”?

[‏10:40 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
Been a while but I used to love it.

[‏10:40 AM] Mr. Blue:
When he tells them to turn left at a road. "George, the battlefield's the other way." "Don't tell me where the battlefield is. I can smell it."

And they end up finding some old Carthaginian city and he starts talking about how the Romans attacked it and from which side etc.

[‏10:41 AM] Mr. Silver:
Nod

[‏10:41 AM] Mr. Blue:
"You know what the poet said? 'As if through a glass and darkly... the age old strife I see. Where I fought in many battles. Many guises, but always me.' Know who said that? ...it was me."

Best scene

[‏10:44 AM] Mr. Silver:
One of several good ones, but yes that sticks out.