Friday, April 14, 2017

395 - The Following Not-PC 70s Jokes, Lancing A Polish Myth, Le Caporal De Taille Moyenne, Astrophysics Throwdown, and What Mr. Blues Cats Get Up To When He's At Work

[‏11:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
The following not-PC joke is brought to you by the 1970s and the fact I can't get it out of my head.
--
So an Irish, a Chinese, a Mexican and a Blonde all end up on the same riveting crew working on a high rise, and over the months all got into the habit of sitting on a beam taking lunch with each other.
One day the Irish says "Jesus...corned beef and cabbage again.  We've been on this job 3 months and every day my wife packs it for me and I hate it."
The Chinese says "Tell me about it.  Eggrolls every single day for 3 months.  I used to love them but they make me sick now."
The Mexican says "Tacos for me.  She packs them every day.  I've had enough." 
The Blonde complains "PB and J...PB and J.  It's enough, you know?"
The Mexican says "I've had it.  Time to put my foot down.  I'm gonna tell her if I get tacos again, I'm throwing myself off this beam."  The others agree!  Enough is enough!
The next day, they sit for lunch.
The Irishman says "Great!  Ham sandwich!"
The Chinese "Excellent! Fried chicken!"
The Mexican "Perfect! Thermos of beef stew!"
But the Blonde says "Damn it!  PBJ again.  I can't stand it!"  And he jumps to his death, leaving the sandwich behind.
The others look on in shock for a moment and then the Mexican says "Wait...he's not even married.  He told me he packs his own lunch."
Fin
(sweeps story from brain)
[‏11:31 AM] Ms. Rose:
That was so bad that it's just...bad. :P
[‏11:32 AM] Mr. Silver:
Never claimed it was good...just stuck
[‏11:33 AM] Mr. Blue:
heheh
[‏11:33 AM] Ms. Rose:
Makes me hungry...
[‏11:34 AM] Mr. Blue:
Why were they all ethnic but the blonde?
[‏11:34 AM] Mr. Silver:
70s
[‏11:34 AM] Mr. Blue:
Instead of blonde make him a Pole or Slav
[11:34 AM] Ms. Rose:
Keep a blonde busy: Give her a bag of Skittles and tell her to alphabetize them. (M&Ms works, too.)
[‏11:35 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Hear about the blonde getting fired as an inspector at the M&M factory?  She was throwing out all the Ws, 3s and Es."
[‏11:36 AM] Ms. Rose:
HA!
[‏11:37 AM] Ms. Rose:
Aaahahahahahaa!
[‏11:37 AM] Mr. Silver:
Snerk!
[‏11:38 AM] Mr. Blue:
Looks like they fixed it by capitalizing the R so it no longer looks like a J upside down
[‏11:38 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yup
More inappropriate crap from the 1970s (Mr. Blue mentioned Poles and it was there.)
So the foreman needed two teams to put up telephone poles along 2 new roads off of the main project.  He ended up with a bunch of random guys for one team and a bunch of Poles who all wanted to work together for the other.  He assigned them their trucks and went back to the major work.  Eight hours later the teams rolled in to report.
"OK, team 1, how many poles you get in?"
"26, sir!"
"Good work!” He turned to the Polish team. “Team 2, how many poles did you get in?"
"We got 3 in."
"8 hours and you finished 3?  The other team did 26!?"
"Yeah, but we saw the crap work they were doing...they left them all sticking up out of the ground!"
[‏11:53 AM] Mr. Blue:
Heh



[‏11:54 AM] Mr. Blue: 
I wonder why Poles became the punchline of jokes. Certainly there are dumber nationalities / ethnicities
[‏11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
Possibly the Lancers in WWII?
[‏11:55 AM] Mr. Blue:
I can't think of any smart Poles but I assume there were plenty
[‏11:55 AM] Mr. Blue:
Copernicus I know, but he was German
Nietzsche *wished* he was Polish, they can have him if they want him.
Weird dude.. Made up some spiel about how his last name was Germanization of a Polish name Nitzy (that doesn't exist) and then claimed all his ancestors were Polish (they were all German going back centuries)
[‏12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Weird dude" rather sums it up anyway
Last thing I read about Polish IQs is that they edge higher on the scale than a lot of Europe.  Unrelated but funny, the Brits have some of the best teeth too.  How things change.
As for the Polish Lancers, they were ridiculed for charging horse cavalry against modern troops, but they were an elite force and it never happened.
[‏12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:
Just guys with spears on horses?   
[‏1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
They weren't really “lancers” at all. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_cavalry#World_War_II
[‏12:40 PM] Mr. Blue:
Wasn't there a guy that charged Normandy with a broadsword?
Ah. Jack Churchill
Fought throughout the Second World War armed with a longbow, bagpipes, and a basket-hilted Scottish broadsword.
Was probably never shot at from long range because the German soldiers considered him no threat
Maybe if I run through Aleppo with a slingshot they'll just laugh and I'll be a hero
I'm sure the Germans admired his bravery (or empathized with his stupidity)
I assume prior to WW2 Poland was a smart place overall, since it was like 20-30% Ashkenazi Jew
[‏1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
I couldn't say.
 

[‏1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
As long as we're on history of Europe...I was pondering Napoleon yesterday.
He's universally depicted as short, arrogant and short tempered.
He was never short
[‏1:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
No
That came from his nickname "le petit generale", which had to do with his youth
[‏1:59 PM] Mr. Silver:
Just called The Little Corporal at one point
Thought it was corporal...maybe it was both...Anyway
[‏2:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
I think you're right
It was le petit something
[‏2:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
I can't see how he'd be any good as a field commander if he was the jackass he's depicted as being.
So is that a bunch hooey too?
[‏2:01 PM] Mr. Blue:
I'm not sure about that. I'm sure it was probably overblown by his enemies
I think I read that he was 5'7", which was average for that time period
[‏2:01 PM] Mr. Silver:
Been too busy to look
(looks) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon#Personality
Yes, it is.
[‏2:02 PM] Mr. Blue:
Only thing I read about that recently was that the burning of Moscow as he invaded was probably more of an accident and not by design of the Russians
Most of the city was built with timber and obviously no electricity, so suddenly evacuating the entire town would lead to candles and stoves being left burning and then poof
It was a particularly strange architectural style at the time. It was like all timber buildings, but they were done up to look like baroque and rococo stone ornamentals.


Hippke and Lund got "served" and now it's "on".
They're astronomy geeks...was hoping for a dance off, but they'll probably do calculus problems to hip-hop music.
[‏3:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh


[‏6/‏3/‏2016 11:34 AM] Mr. Blue:
I got a call from "Dakota" at "Randy" trucking... the name of my cats
[‏6/‏3/‏2016 11:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
So your cats run a trucking business when you leave the house?
[‏6/‏3/‏2016 11:52 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
I wish... They'd finally be pulling their weight
[‏6/‏3/‏2016 11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Katzenjammer IT, this is Mr. Blue."
"Yeah, you guys are killing me here. The computer is going nuts and I've got a truck of live mice and catnip lost in New Jersey."
"Dakota?  Is this Dakota?" 
"... ... *click*"
[‏6/‏3/‏2016 11:56 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hee hee.
at

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