Mr.
Brown:
Ms.
Rose:
Just
tell us what the name of the chemical is so we can Google! Sheesh!
Mr.
Silver:
(Gomez
Addams) "Hello? Royal Stoke University hospital?"
"Look
mate, I know oo it is and I STILL ain't telling you wot 'e 'et,
right? Stop ringin' me!"
Ms.
Rose:
LOL
Mr.
Brown:
Powdered
sugar of death
Ms.
Rose:
"A
white power was found on the dashboard."
"Upon
analysis, the mixture was found to consist of Pixie Stix sugar,
pulverized methamphetamine, bath salts, and powdered Bovril.
Authorities are investigating the source of the tainted Bovril."
Mr.
Brown:
Lead.
Hot hot lead.
Mr.
Silver:
Probably
go to a proper UK news site and they'll tell you what it was and how
to make it.
"Americans
read Daily Mail, sir."
"Hmmm...be
vague..."
"Yes,
sir."
Mr.
Brown:
"Make
plenty of factual mistakes. They like it."
Ms.
Rose:
"Write
reeeeeally long and convoluted headlines because it makes us seem
'more British'."
The
writers are probably from Montana or something. Who knows?
Mr.
Silver:
My
fear is that it's common and used in, like, breakfast cereal.
1
grain average per serving and you feel great all day.
Ms.
Rose:
This
is a *really* old story, but I think it
applies:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/08/14/cocaine.traces.money/
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/08/14/cocaine.traces.money/
Mr.
Silver:
"Mr.
Shingler failed to achieve immortality in his car on May 26th after
snarfing part of the required dose of dehydrated Elixir of Life on his dashboard."
"The
remaining amount, and that contained in his system, retains enough
transformative 'mana' to potentially obliterate the soul of anyone
exposed to Mr. Shingler's short-lived but magnificently-empowered
being. Hospital staff plan to dismember Mr. Shingler to
distribute his magic in the form of reliquaries."
(The
following is a minimally-edited excitable Mr. Brown segment – Mr.
Silver)
Mr.
Brown:
wowo
confirmed tornady in wwest (place)
Mr.
Blue:
Right
now?
Mr.
Silver:
(sees
Gabby Hayes whipping his hat against his leg) "shore nuff we got
us a torNADY!"
Mr.
Brown:
was
last night
Ms.
Rose:
Ah.
A trailer-park-heavy area...of course.
Mr.
Brown:
was
a ef-0
Mr.
Blue:
So
like... a dust devil
I
live near there and was asleep the whole time.
Mr.
Brown:
Prob
micro cell to be honest
Mr.
Blue:
I'd
love to see a tornado in person, but not near my house.
That
one in Cranberry was definitely not a tornado.
Mr.
Brown:
i
would like to see a tornado in a safe eviroment
lol
Ms.
Rose:
I
bet the Cranberry people complained to their township about it...
Mr.
Blue:
There
was a video of “the tornado”. It was just some low hanging
clouds, there wasn't even any wind.
Mr.
Silver:
F-Eh...
F-Nil...
F-None...
F-Nada...
Silver
Jr. "Is there a tornado bigger than F-5?"
Me
"(Yeah, an “F-U-Puny-Humans”) I don't think so. Maybe
on other planets the wind speed would get high enough for an F-6."
(Another
edit skip for whatever he was typing – Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Brown:
I
said st wendiline yesterdedagyasga
Mr.
Silver:
Ai!
Cthulhu f'tagn! Yesterdedagyasga! Ya!
Mr.
Brown:
ebim
Mr.
Silver:
Ebim
Sothoth! Yog Sothoth! Ia ia ia Sothoth!
Mr.
Blue:
Did
they find that guy yet?
Mr.
Brown:
Nope
He's
still out there, dead or walking
According
to last report, apparently shirtless
Ms.
Rose:
Sexy.
Mr.
Blue:
“Suspect
is considered armed and extremely sexy”
Ms.
Rose:
LOL
Mr.
Silver:
“Shirtless
Walking-Dead Fugitive Eludes/Eats Police”
Mr.
Brown:
Only
wearing jeans and carrying a water bottle.
Pretending
to be off-roading in the woods and getting stuck.
I
think I told Mr. Silver earlier that my friend heard two shots
yesterday then some yelling
Mr.
Blue:
I
hear that all the time
Mr.
Brown:
It
was behind his house, which is one of the locations the guy was last
seen.
Mr.
Silver:
"A
resident who only wanted to be identified as Jim, but is really James
Reed of 543 Clingan Street East Butler and who lives alone and
unarmed, told a WPXI-TV reporter that he saw Amend standing in the
middle of his yard only wearing jeans and carrying a water bottle."
Mr.
Blue:
LOL
Where
I live, I call the police when I don't hear gunshots and yelling.
Mr.
Brown:
LOL
“Its
really quiet out here guys. Can you come look?”
Mr.
Silver:
"Police?
Something is going down. There's no gunfire or yelling."
"OK,
remain calm."
"There
are people taking relaxing walks outside."
"My
God! Just stay out of sight."
Mr.
Blue:
Wow,
Girl University has an ice hockey team.
Ms.
Rose:
They
do, Mr. Blue. They suck really bad (or did while I went there). I
tried out for the team despite not knowing how to skate. That wasn't
a requirement, which should tell you something.
Mr.
Blue:
LOL
Mr.
Silver:
Hehe
Ms.
Rose:
Those
poor girls. Our team was sooo low on the totem pole that the only
available practice time for us at the rink was at like 2:00 AM. You'd
hear them clanking through the dorm halls with all their gear,
getting back at 5:00 AM.
Mr.
Silver:
Send
out the non-skaters in ice cleats
Mr.
Blue:
Some
girl from their team was at pickup on Sunday and she was pretty good.
Ms.
Rose:
I
would have loved to be a hockey player. But, you know...absolutely no
coordination or physical ability whatsoever. I'll stick to video
games...
Mr. Blue:
Heh.
The other girl that sometimes plays went to Connecticut College... their
team name is the Camels
As
in... you know... toes... Because this team name was well thought out.
Ms. Rose:
Like the Chatham Cougars
Mr.
Silver:
Suppose
they shout that at a rally? “Go Toes!”
Ms.
Rose:
I
was thinking humps... As in, “lovely lady”... nevermind...
Mr.
Silver:
Probably
play My Humps during pauses, yes.
Mr.
Blue:
Hmm...
Does Oregon State have a female athletics program? Yep!
(Silver
here. No telling where that link will go in future, but when I
clicked it today, it went to the headline: “Beavers
fall to Gamecocks,
5-4, in longest
game in program history.” Giggle.)
Mr.
Brown:
We
need to start an ice hockey team called The Turtles
Mr.
Silver:
How
about "The Flounders" Mr Brown?
Mr.
Brown:
“We!
Are! The Melts!”
Mr.
Silver:
Sheboygan
Slushies
Mr.
Blue:
There's
an actual team (or used to be) called The Whoopie
and
they were based out of Macon, Georgia
Mr.
Silver:
Where
were the Swastikas out of?
(looks)
Mr.
Blue:
Windsor
Had
a HUGE rivalry with the Kingston Toothbrush Mustaches
Ms.
Rose:
LOL
Mr.
Blue:
"What
should our team logo be?"
"It
needs to be something that will never fall out of fashion or become a
taboo."
Mr.
Silver:
"Something
that represents fortune and benevolent power for good."
Mr.
Blue:
Heh..
Still on Girl University hockey... Their record in 5 seasons is
11-76-4
Mr.
Silver:
Forfeits
count as wins?
Mr.
Blue:
The
opposition's bus broke down 11 times
Mr.
Silver:
Heh
Mr.
Blue:
The
4 ties were against Western PA School for the Blind
Mr.
Silver:
Ohhhhh...I
thought it was 4 double ejections.
0-0
bench-clearers
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