Mr.
Brown:
So
I saw the doc on Monday that's why I was out. Got me some Magic
Swizzle.
That's
what they call the mouth rinse.
Mr.
Silver:
"Use
Magic Swizzle only as directed. Do not swallow Magic Swizzle.
May cause partial to complete death of human micro fauna/flora.
May cause organ death. Ask your dentist, doctor or oral surgeon
if Magic Swizzle is right for anyone."
Mr.
Brown:
It
has Lidicane in it
Mouth
goes fully numb for so long
Mr.
Silver:
"If
tingling or numbness lasts for more than 4 hours, you probably should
have contacted your medical adviser 3 hours earlier and it's too late
now."
"Pregnant
or nursing women should not even see a bottle of Magic
Swizzle."
“Magic
Swizzle has been exempted from the Geneva Convention CWC prohibitions
based on a legal technicality and is safe for use as an oral
treatment for infection and against enemy troops and insurgent
nationals."
Mr.
Blue:
Magic
Swizzle™, or its generic Liquid Zyklon B, is only available with a
prescription.
Mr.
Brown:
where
that come from, Mr. Blue?
Mr.
Blue:
Just
riffin'
Mr.
Brown:
Ah
That
one sounded real
LOL
Mr.
Blue:
Zyklon
B is what the Nazis used to exterminate people.
Mr.
Brown:
So
that's why it sounded real
Just
so you know, Magic Swizzle is pink
Basically
it consists of Malox , Lidicane, and Benadryl.
Mr.
Blue:
What
was your issue?
Mr.
Brown:
He
is trying to say its Hand Foot and Mouth
A
virus.
But
I don't have any of the other symptoms
So
I believe I ate something, or this sinus infection or something else
triggered it.
I
used to get ulcers when I was younger – it could just be a
re-occurrence
He
said his kid and him got Hand Foot and Mouth when they went to
Disney.
Ms.
Rose:
I
frequently come down with "Foot in Mouth Syndrome", but I
think that's different...
Mr.
Brown:
LOL
I
looked up what he said I have.
Its
supposedly highly contagious, but he was not concerned with me going
to work
Just
said don't kiss anybody
LOL
I
Lysol my desk a lot too
Mr.
Blue:
Stay
away from my desk
You're
probably over the contagious period but still don't talk to me.
Mr.
Brown
I
guess the best thing the doc said is don't worry its not Foot and
Mouth Disease like the cows get
LOL
Mr.
Silver:
(Mr.
Brown's doctor talking on phone)
"Haha!
No, Mr. Brown! You'd need to have hooves for it to be
that! Ha-”
…
“You
do? Oh! Um..."
...
"Well,
no, it's just...”
...
“Well,
yes, corrective surgery does make sense in births like that, I
just...
...
“Jersey
Devil?”
...
“YOU
HAD WINGS AND A HORSE HEAD TOO?”
...
“Well,
who did the surgery?”
...
“Damn...”
...
“No,
a good damn... I mean NOW you look...”
...
“Uh...
Well, yes, my diagnosis will need to be put under review by...um... Look, let me get you my vet's number. He's really good."
...
"Yes, I think under the circumstances, that would be the best route."
...
Mm hm. Still looking. ... I guess
that explains the sinus infection thing too...”
...
“Well
he must have over-shortened the nasal passages in your...uh...horse
head. Here it is...got a pencil and paper, Mr. Brown?"
Mr.
Brown:
I
guess when I get a cold, my body handles that as best it can but my
sinuses plug up, trap in bacteria, then I get a infection.
It's
why my doctor wants to do surgery to my sinuses
I'm
still deciding if I want to go through with the surgery
Cause
that has risks
Mr.
Blue:
What
surgery?
Mr.
Brown:
He
wants to open my sinus passages so they drain correctly so I stop
getting bacterial infections.
Mr.
Silver:
AKA
"The nose drill"
Mr.
Bags got that done
Mr.
Blue:
I
didn't even know that existed
Mr.
Brown:
Yeah
they take pieces of small bone out
It
makes the opening bigger so it cannot close off
But
it's face surgery; that's why I'm leery.
Mr.
Blue:
Maybe
they can fix all the rest of it while they're at it
;)
Mr.
Brown:
Haha
I
don't think they have to break my nose to do the work
not
like my dad's deviated septum
Mr.
Blue:
You'll
come in with a Michael Jackson nose, a cleft chin, impossibly taught
forehead, Steven Seagal hairline.
"Got
my sinuses fixed!"
Mr.
Silver:
(Mr.
Brown, bleary from insufficient anesthesia, listening)
"Ok,
got the spike in. Be sure to get a good run up with the 10lb
sledge...we don't want to miss like with the last guy."
"Can't
I just tap it, doctor?"
"Nope.
Anal probe ready for after if he makes it?"
(sound
of running feet advancing)
"Yes
doc-"
TING!!!
(Mr.
Brown passes out.)
Mr.
Blue:
"Hands
of a surgeon" is kind of a misnomer
Those
dudes are rough
Lotta
cracking, breaking, hammering, chiseling
Drilling...
sawing...
Mr.
Brown:
Dental
surgeons have giant forearms.
Mr.
Blue:
In
the 2nd year of dental school your final is ripping a phone book with
your bare hands
Ms.
Rose:
Everyone
please be sure to embarrass Carey today for his birthday. He wouldn't
let me send in cupcakes to the (department), so you could always ask
him about that...
Mr.
Brown:
Somebody
order a Gorilla in a suit, singing.
Yes,
I mean Gorilla in a suit
Shit
now I have the Chili's birthday song in my head.
Mr.
Blue:
No
CUPCAKES?
Mr.
Silver:
Have
the gorilla bring the cupcakes, start a recording of "Threw it
on the Ground" and just smash them all in a threatening way.
Ms.
Rose:
LOL
Mr.
Blue:
Now
I want some cupcakes
Ms.
Rose:
I
had it all planned out. I was going to make 2 kinds of cupcakes and
place them in 3 rows. Then spell out (one letter per cupcake) HAPPY
B-DAY CAREY because each of those is 5 characters and that makes my
OCD happy. It looked and tasted wonderful in my head! Then he said
no... :'(
Mr.
Brown:
That's
when you just do it anyways.
For
the sake of us
:)
Mr.
Silver:
"H
A P P Y B I D A Y C A R E Y... Bidet is
spelled with an E T, Ms. Rose."
"SOMEONE
TURNED THE HYPHEN SIDEWAYS!"
"Ooooohhhhh...
I thought a bidet was an odd gift... It's not really anything I'd
associate with 'happy'."
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