Mr.
Brown
Aha!
We got you now! Say does this grail have a bit of salad in it? Yep
it does. Dang it!
12:26
PM Mr. Blue
It
*would* be a miracle to drink out of that.
12:31
PM Mr. Silver
"Gingerly
take this cup and drink of it carefully. This is my blood so
don't slosh it around. CAREFUL!"
12:34
PM Mr. Silver
"And
the Lord did sigh in frustration, and said. Takest thou this
dishtowel and wipe up my blood with it. No it's not a special
dishtowel. No it's NOT a miracle. Just...just let me do
it...gimmie it!"
12:37
PM Mr. Silver
"And
the Lord did call for a better cup and more wine, but there was no
better cup to be had, and the disciples were just more careful the
next time."
12:38
PM Mr. Blue
This
is my body, which is given for you; now take this can and Do the Dew.
Mr.
Blue
Mr.
Woodcock on Blue Ball Rd.
3:13
PM Mr. Silver
Sounds
like a euphemism for a relationship problem.
"It
might have come up Blue Ball from here...the Missus and I are
actually at our vacation home on Tease Rd in LaCock PA."
3:20
PM Mr. Blue
I
read somewhere that Guys Mills PA used to be called Gays Mills
3:25
PM Mr. Silver
(proud
farmer in 50's commercial) "So all you folks out there just ask
yerself...'Where do you get YOUR Gay?' (nods, winks...holds up
loaf of bread...disturbing smooching to audience)"
3:26
PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
3:28
PM Mr. Silver
"(voiceover)
Gay Guys Mills Bread...next time, why not choose Gay Guys?"
3:31
PM Mr. Silver
"Gay
Guys Mills produces the finest breads and rolls with no strange
additives. Ask yourself...does your current bread have a queer
taste? Why not go Gay instead?"
Sadly
this gag could run for hours but you waited too late in the day to
put it up.
"(Happy
mom) Me and the kids? We all love Gay Guys!" (little
precocious boy) "We found out even daddy loves Gay Guys!"
(done)
Mr.
Brown
So
in an episode of Start Trek:Next Gen, I saw Data do a complete
shutdown. Geordi thought he died, so he closed his eye lids which
proceeded to twitch like he was not turned off.
7:46
AM Mr. Silver
Like
low battery doesn't do weird stuff...
7:46
AM Mr. Brown
He
was in a full system reboot.
I
guess now that I think about it, some of his processes were still
running.
7:47
AM Mr. Silver
In
a twist of circumstance difficult to explain, Mrs Silver and I were
sleeping in Silver Juinors's twin bed a couple Friday nights back.
Mr.
Brown
Did
it start shaking on its own? I've had that happen to me lots of
times.
7:49
AM Mr. Silver
That's
your own heartbeat starting up an oscillation.
Anyway.
In
the dead of night I'm awoken to the noise of some machine running.
I was too groggy to sort out what it might be. A low grinding
or growling...mechanical.
7:50
AM Mr. Silver
It
ran at a low volume...then got louder for a couple minutes, then
stopped.
I
fell asleep...”figure it out later”.
And
then "PEEP PEEP!"
"Augh!
It's Thomas the Tank Engine!"
Mr.
Silver
And
now it's grinding and peeping at intervals, and Mrs Silver is hanging
half off the bed, digging nearly blind in a toy box.
“Get
it! Get it! Augh!"
8:00
AM Mr. Silver
She
finds it. "I can't find the switch!"
8:05
AM Mr. Silver
I
turn it off.
This
was a toy designed to follow a track made with water on a special
track he got as a present when he was about 5.
It
hadn't made a noise for years, and suddenly it's going berserk.
That
wasn't the creepiest though.
The
creepiest was the Sesame Street tool bench.
8:07
AM Mr. Brown
Oh
yes the toys you turn off and forget about then they turn themselves
back on later.
Mr.
Blue (arrives partway in...)
Dreams?
8:12
AM Mr. Brown
Stuff
of Nightmares
8:12
AM Mr. Silver
I'm
surprised Silver Jr. is as normal as he is.
He'd
complain about the workbench but it made no sense why.
Then
I caught it late one night.
When
the battery got low, it would do 2 things:
Make
a sound of a power saw...
and
then Bert would say "I SAW that. Hehehe!"
8:18
AM Mr. Brown
HAHAHA
9:31
AM Mr. Blue
BTW
ya'll, Mr. Brown is having another kid.
9:32
AM Mr. Silver
Yes,
a long line of doctors will continue to be baffled by his genes.
9:32
AM Mr. Brown
“Ok,
how are you still alive?”
“Well,
I get that from my father's side.”
9:35
AM Mr. Silver
Geneticist
"But this one section of chromosome...here...seems to be made of
adamantium or something. It appears to be all that kept
generation after generation alive. The thing is immutable...we
blasted a sample with gamma rays."
Mrs.
Brown "But the baby is fine?"
Geneticist
"Oh sure! But look at this...we made a progression out
about 10 generations for fun. (taps something on laptop, swings
screen around) Boneless pimply brown blobs! Cool huh?"
Mrs
Brown "AUGH!"
Geneticist
"An understandable reaction, ma'am, but they'll live forever and
reproduce by budding. Your descendants will be perfect for the
coming environmental disasters."
9:39
AM Mr. Brown
I
have transcended into a virus.
9:42
AM Mr. Brown
9:43
AM Mr. Blue
99%
of the population would have probably woken up before it got
that far.
9:45
AM Mr. Silver
I'm
betting he did it on purpose so he'd have a cool scar to make up for
looking like such a ponce.
9:47
AM Mr. Silver
"The
birds never guv me a second look til I got the burn. Hurts like
Billy-O but I tell 'em it's nothing I can't take, right? Better
than that Axe stuff any day."
9:57
AM Mr. Brown
I
know I looked like a sissy girl when I messed up the end of my toe
other day.
Normally
I handle stuff better.
Its
like when you shave a chunk of skin off; it hurts worse than just
cutting off a appendage.
LOL
9:58
AM Mr. Silver
I
can't recall ever shaving off any chunks.
1:45
PM Mr. Brown
These
people doing the icebucket challenge are wimps.
They
dump the ice in then just dump it on their head.
Leave
it in the water awhile, then try it.
1:48
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
It's
just luke warm.
1:50
PM Mr. Brown
I
like Ema Rossum's though. She looks like she did it right.
1:52
PM Mr. Silver
...?
White
cotton t-shirt and no bra, or something?
1:52
PM Mr. Brown
No
bikini top and looks like the water was actually cold.
1:52
PM Mr. Silver
No
bikini top? Awesome!
1:53
PM Mr. Brown
LOL
1:53
PM Mr. Silver
The
power of punctuation.
1:49
PM Mr. Blue
The
cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man is portrayed as having a
strong affinity for spinach, becoming physically stronger after
consuming it. The commonly accepted version of events states this
portrayal was based on faulty calculations of the iron content.[20]
In the version, German scientist Emil von Wolff misplaced a decimal
point in an 1870 measurement of spinach's iron content, leading to an
iron value ten times higher than it should have been, and this faulty
measurement was not noticed until the 1930s. This caused the popular
misconception that spinach is high in iron that makes the body
stronger.
1:50
PM Mr. Silver
Yup.
"Once
the math mistake was detected in the late 1930s, Hitler caused the
disgraced German scientist to be exhumed, publically stripped of
degree and citizenship, and buried under a one room elementary school
in Poland."
"We
don't need his type here," said the Fuhrer, "and he will be
placed where his ghost can cause the least harm in the new world
order."
"The
bones were retrieved, decades later, and cremated by a descendant,
who kept the urn at his workplace...measuring and polishing mirrors
for the Hubble Space Telescope."
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