Mr.
Silver
So
I watched "300" with Mrs Silver.
Meaning
I watched "300" with Mrs. Silver and loved it (mostly) and
she wandered off because it was “too violent”.
"Pft...you
watch Vikings, Game of Thrones and True Blood, but you can't handle
this?"
It
was fun.
But...
2:18
PM Mr. Blue
I
didn't care for it. Xerxes was about the only good part.
2:19
PM Mr. Silver
Me
"Dude...I understand 'never retreat' and understand 'never
surrender', but there should be a 'don't be stupid and not reposition
when flanked' clause."
2:20
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah,
there's a reason the Spartans didn't reign too long.
2:22
PM Mr. Silver
Sparta?
They
were around for centuries.
2:22
PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
2:22
PM Mr. Silver
I
don't think they were particularly intelligent as a culture, but they
weren't flops.
2:22
PM Mr. Blue
They
were puny with the exception of a few hundred years.
2:22
PM Mr. Silver
So...longer
than the United States of America.
Rome
was a fishing village.
They
just weren't culturally static goobers and decided to spread out a
little.
2:23
PM Mr. Blue
It
was like feudal Japan.
They
were pretty brutal.
Advanced
and organized, but brutal.
2:27
PM Mr. Silver
I
have some doubts about the accuracy of the equipment and tactics in
'300'...
Little
details...like...oh...Spartans wore armor.
Like
"we fight in the phalanx!"
(unless
it's dramatic to completely break their famous discipline and run out
into a wide open field for no sane reason)
2:31
PM Mr. Silver
Then
there was “Unleash the freemen on the flank against the immortals!”
Me
"Um...where did they come from? They sure as heck didn't run
out of the pass.”
2:33
PM Mr. Silver
If
they'd moved 50' back into that pass and held there, they could have
locked down that place a week longer.
2:34
PM Mr. Brown
I'm
wondering if they did that in the real battle; held that pass the
right way, but were overwhelmed in time.
I
forget how the battle went.
2:37
PM Mr. Silver
Well...they
all died.
2:37
PM Mr. Brown
Right.
But
the real battle. Were they flanked, lose by attrition, or just get
overwhelmed?
2:41
PM Mr. Silver
I
haven't gotten to look it up again as intended so couldn't say.
There
was a lot more than 300 Spartans and some irregulars there though.
2:47
PM Mr. Blue
And
the Persians weren't stretched across the horizon as they were in the
film.
Ever
see “Troy”?
F***in'
armies 20,000,000 strong.
2:49
PM Mr. Silver
"Helen of Troy - The face that launched 200,000 ships."
I
have difficulty believing there were 20 million people on earth in
the Heroic Age.
2:50
PM Mr. Blue
The
armies wouldn't even fit in the cities they were fighting for in the
movie.
2:52
PM Mr. Blue
Go
back in time a couple thousand years with a Glock and a few boxes of
rounds, and you'd rule the world in about a month. LOL
2:59
PM Mr. Brown
Nah, they'd get you with arrows
from way out.
If
we'd met native Americans before we had guns, oh boy.
LOL
3:00
PM Mr. Silver
The
Vikings did. It didn't last.
3:01
PM Mr. Brown
Who?
Vikings or natives?
3:01
PM Mr. Silver
See any native Vikings living around Vinland lately?
3:01
PM Mr. Blue
Vikings
and Native Americans met without guns.
3:01
PM Mr. Silver
The
vikings had to leave...it was embarrassing.
I
have a book on the best-assembled bits and reconstructed events of
the attempted holding of a settlement in North America. Pretty
interesting.
3:05
PM Mr. Silver
They...um...lost
to seal hunters after a stupid misunderstanding.
Poor
vikings.
3:13
PM Mr. Silver
Some
of the book, as I recall, was the author taking stories and sagas of
the Vikings to get into their heads and understand their POV and
attitudes about stuff, and then taking some of the
arrogant-warrior-jerk spin back off of them.
3:20
PM Mr. Silver
I
think it went that they liked the place, picked a spot, started
settling in, and all was going well. They encountered a few
skraelings (natives) at a distance.
Eventually
the natives came in to meet the new neighbors all friendly-like.
They
had not seen a steel axe before and "TRIED TO STEAL IT!!!!"
(translation: Asked politely to have a look and touched it.)
And
that was the end of diplomacy and a fight broke out, because you
don't touch another man's axe; especially if you're a dirty inferior
foreign skraeling.
3:22
PM Mr. Brown
Yay
viking culture.
LOL
Yeah,
a dumb reason to start a fight.
3:22
PM Mr. Blue
I
imagine both sides had some weird cultural things that the other side
could have easily been offended by.
3:24
PM Mr. Silver
Nod.
After the first fight, the natives naturally
recognized the superior
Scandinavians
as their masters right
away,
and immediately bowed to their authority...until
the natives didn't.
And
the next time they ran into each other the native “simple seal
hunters” beat the living tar out of the vikings.
3:25
PM Mr. Silver
And
though the Norse heroes loved their Gods-granted chosen land, they
decided after a few one-sided scraps that they'd “come back
later”...but it wasn't like they were running away or anything.
Mr.
Silver
"Ohio
Lawmakers also want to limit the teaching of the attractive
architecture process"
12:58
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah,
worst state capitol ever.
"Shouldn’t
we put a dome on this thing?"
"Naaaaah"
1:01
PM Mr. Silver
Governor
"And this is the final design, huh?"
Architect
"Yup!"
"Did
you finish at breakfast before running out the door?"
"Well...yes.
How did you know?"
"The
Quaker Oats cylinder on the top of the model."
"Ah...yeah,
about that..."
"We
LOVE it!"
"I'm
really sorry, but-...
You do?"
(Gaggle
of suits) "Awesome!"
"Unique!"
"Flat
as Ohio on top!"
"Flat
as the average Ohioan politician’s personality!"
"Flat
as our tastes!"
"Flat
as our heads!"
”High
in the middle and round at both ends! Get it?”
(All)
"HAHAHA!"
(Architect
backs away)
1:07
PM Mr. Blue
Oregon’s
capitol is worse. Looks like a mausoleum.
1:14
PM Mr. Blue
I
don't mind Louisiana
or North
Dakota…at least they did something different than the ol' Greek
revival stuff.
3:22
PM Mr. Silver
I'm
not sure why I even bother...
Koppel
is a pinhead...so I warn him.
"Don't
check the box...
“See
the box?
“Tell
me what it says.
“That's
the box.
“Don't
check it.
“Don't
check it.
“That's
right, don't check it."
2
minutes later he OBVIOUSLY F-ING CHECKED THE F-ING BOX.
"Did
you check the (f-ing) box (you moron)?"
"I
don't remember."
"Well,
you did."
Mr.
Blue
"Paladin"
is in the list of most common passwords used.
10:59
AM Mr. Silver
Interesting.
11:03
AM Mr. Silver
"New
passwords need to be at least 6 characters long...must contain a
number from 1 to 12...and needs to be Lawful Good or a champion from
the Battle of Roncevaux."
Mr.
Blue
The
water wasn't very crystal at Camp Crystal Lake
10:59
AM Mr. Silver
It
was Mud Lake before the strategic marketing meeting.
11:01
AM Mr. Blue
"Visit
beautiful Scum Lake!"
"Take
a canoe to tranquil Millipede Island!"
11:06
AM Mr. Blue
Wow..
millipedes can cause train derailments?
Other
species exhibit periodical swarming behaviour, which can result in
home invasions,[46] crop damage,[47] train delays, or even train
crashes and derailments.[48][49]
11:06
AM Mr. Silver
Holy
crap...that's verified?
11:07
AM Mr. Blue
11:07
AM Mr. Silver
It
must have been a bunch and made it slick as they were crushed up.
11:08
AM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
11:10
AM Mr. Silver
Mrs.
Silver and I took Mrs. Gray out to (park) over the weekend to burn
off some stress while he was tearing his hair out over a writing
project...
And
Silver Jr. spotted a good sized millipede.
Jr.
"Come look!"
Gray
"No way! I don't like looking at anything buggy with a lot
of legs. Ugh!"
Me
"Hmmm...I'll have to remember that for the next D&D game: 'The
party is jumped by a 50' long millipede! It charges at you at a
scorching quarter mile-per-hour!"
Gray
(evil glare)
11:12
AM Mr. Blue
Heh
Millipedes
are amongst the least creepy bugs, IMO.
11:13
AM Mr. Silver
Centipedes,
however...
The
“sports” millipede
11:13
AM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
11:13
AM Mr. Silver
Fast, carnivorous, and with painful bites to boot!
11:16
AM Mr. Blue
Yeah,
they're venomous.
The
Amazonian giant centipede, is the largest existing species of
centipede in the world, reaching over 30 cm (12 in) in
length. It is known to eat lizards, frogs, birds, mice, and even
bats, catching them in midflight,[8] as well as rodents and spiders.
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