Monday, September 16, 2013

Day 265 - Mormon Boor-mom, You Will Sit Here & Be Entertained Whether You Like It Or Not, "It Was Only By Analogy That She Called It Colour At All", All Eyes Were Crossed On Her Performance, Less A Game Of Skill Than Fortitude, Look Up "Blessed" & "Lucky", Also Useful For Peeing Around Corners, and Living Under A Rock In Turkey

10:04 AM Mr. Silver
So...I went on a fairly unsatisfying trip down to Pitt to meet my niece and see where she's living.
10:05 AM Mr. Blue
Why unsatisfying?
10:06 AM Mr. Silver
Well, for one, we had to wait for her to get out of church to come meet us..."5 minutes".
But it was 40, because she had another friend visiting and they drove around and around looking for a place to park.
Fine...then 5 minutes signing each person in with full address even though 3 of us had the same...then a tour of the 1 room closet she shares with another girl.  And finally some awkward chat because the mom is a dork and the friend was just standing there quietly...then home.  The whole real “visit” was probably less than 10 minutes.
The mom and daughter (and friend) are Mormons…
Because she’s in college, she now qualifies for "The Singles Ward".
She dropped a comment about how all of them were talking about getting married ASAP, and it being irritating.
So Mrs. Silver says "Oh no!  Take advantage of your youth to do things."
She was cut off by her sister - "Oh, no.  Mormons don't have sex before they are married, so..."
10:12 AM Mr. Blue
Yep, none of 'em do.  ;-)
10:13 AM Mr. Silver
"Um...I wasn’t talking about that at all.  I'm talking about doing things: travel…experiences."
Meanwhile the two 18-19 girls are shifting awkwardly.
I picture her going back up to her friend after we left and starting with "Oh my Gawd!"
Apparently Mom has been pulling this line for years. (Psst...open secret that daughter #1 “attended the wedding”.)
10:15 AM Mr. Blue
Awkward situation all around…parents/guardians in dorms.
Because that's where there's gonna be drinking, sex, and possibly drugs!
10:16 AM Mr. Silver
"There's a time and a place for everything!  And it's called 'college'!"
10:16 AM Mr. Blue
If they were straight-and-narrow, they wouldn't have gone to Pitt.
10:17 AM Mr. Silver
Purely academic...she wanted the bio-chem program.  She's one of those 4.0++ who achieves things types.
10:18 AM Mr. Blue
Ah.



(On the topic of “Return of the Living Dead” – Mr. Silver)
Mr. Brown
I did not realize they had made so many off that original.
I’ve only seen 1 and 2.
I guess I need to see 3
I’m not going to watch 4 and 5 unless I feel like it, because apparently they strayed from the original themes.
2:46 PM Mr. Silver
(baffled)
It turns out I don't watch many movies unless I'm forced.  You're a lucky man, Mr. Brown.
2:47 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah, we all have guns to our head.
2:47 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
2:47 PM Mr. Blue
Must be nice to have free will... myself, I wouldn't know.
2:47 PM Mr. Brown
Sometimes I get bored, and then watch stuff.
2:48 PM Mr. Silver
Any mysterious voices or demon manifestations involved?
"Idle hands are the Devil's remote"
2:49 PM Mr. Blue
I was reading about schizophrenia, Mr. Brown.
There were first-hand accounts of the symptoms…man.  Talk about scary.
2:49 PM Mr. Brown
I think I secretly punish myself with movies.
LOL
2:49 PM Mr. Blue
I agree.
Mr. Brown
That is an example of when you a kid, you watch anything and think it’s neat.
3:00 PM Mr. Silver
I skipped that one when it was new, based on title...(slaps wrist)
3:01 PM Mr. Brown
It had a good star in it.
LOL
3:01 PM Mr. Silver
I've skipped a lot of movies based on the title...whether kid schlock or Oscar bait.
3:04 PM Mr. Silver
"Let’s see....We have a choice between “The Wiggly Witch”, or “Ponsonby's Leaves”.  F- this, I'm going to read."



Mr. Brown
We don't know if these rocks could kill us, but I’m going to stand here with a shovel and let this guy pour water on it.
1:27 PM Mr. Blue
I think those vapor rocks (haven't finished the article yet) might be something falling from the septic systems of airplanes.
1:27 PM Mr. Amethyst
lol
1:29 PM Mr. Silver
Hmm…vapors, shining, color changes, fell from the sky.  What "colour" would you say those rocks are?
1:32 PM Mr. Blue
An indescribable colour.
1:38 PM Mr. Silver
H.P. Lovecraft's "Some Girl Colour Out Of Space"
1:39 PM Mr. Silver
(Investigator) "What colour did she say the meteorite was?"
(Farmer) "Hell, I dunno...she called it 'space' or 'dusk' or some other BS girl colour."



2:27 PM Mr. Gray
2:27 PM Mr. Amethyst
*shudder*
2:27 PM Mr. Blue
"I said look at the CAMERA, ma’am!"
2:28 PM Mr. Silver
"Are one of your eyes looking this way?"
Aydrea Meaders, 24, was charged with public lewdness and endangering the welfare of a child
Was she juggling chainsaws or on fire during the striptease?
2:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
Endangering the welfare of many children*
2:29 PM Mr. Blue
"Endangering the reputation of a child"
(hers)
2:30 PM Mr. Silver
Beat me to it.
2:30 PM Mr. Blue
I wonder how old her kid is.  She was, at best, pregnant at 17.
2:30 PM Mr. Silver
Yes.



Mr. Silver
"We ran a contest for a name for the new game during testing and demonstrations, and so far the leader is "Ping Puke". 
3:30 PM Mr. Silver
"It features an ever-shifting light pattern and sound scheme that creates an ever-shifting sensation in the observer's balance and orientation centers, and an ever-shifting sick feeling in the G.I.Tract." 
3:35 PM Mr. Silver
"We've found that it adds a thrilling element to the age-old game after only a few points, which is as long as anyone has been able to play without running for the bathroom.  Epileptics seem especially overcome with excitement."



Mr. Amethyst
9:39 AM Mr. Blue
Drumroll please!! I'm 32 years old and I'm HIV positive. Acute HIV, which means I recently was infected. For that I am blessed,” Daily wrote on Twitter on Tuesday.
9:40 AM Mr. Brown
Yep
9:41 AM Mr. Silver
Blessed?
Like relatively?
"Good news, I'm not passing a flesh eating virus."
9:41 AM Mr. Amethyst
That they caught it early.
There’s more to the tweet than the liberal Blue media gives you.
9:42 AM Mr. Gray
Blessed by the horseman of Pestilence!
9:42 AM Mr. Blue
Kind of like Lou Gehrig calling himself the luckiest man on earth.
"I was being sarcastic! I have a disease so rare, they named it after me."
9:44 AM Mr. Gray
LMAO
9:49 AM Mr. Blue
The porn stars all claim they're tested regularly. The problem is they should be tested before every single movie.
9:49 AM Mr. Amethyst
^
9:49 AM Mr. Blue
Just like a boxer or MMA fighter is tested before every fight.
9:50 AM Mr. Brown
Right.
9:50 AM Mr. Blue
Otherwise all they're telling us is "I didn't have HIV as of 4 weeks ago! Although I’ve had sex with about 20 people since then."



10:39 AM Mr. Brown
10:41 AM Mr. Silver
"I used to make beer bongs, but it wasn't paying much, so I designed a new box and my fortune was made!"



11:14 AM Mr. Brown
11:15 AM Mr. Blue
Cool.
11:15 AM Mr. Amethyst
You know...I really want to play Minecraft right now. lol
11:15 AM Mr. Brown
They're not sure why people built it or how old it is.
Of course “Ancient Aliens” is trying to say it was shelter from a galactic war.
LOL
Because you would naturally go underground to avoid aerial attacks.
11:16 AM Mr. Silver
Right.
The complete lack of metal, electronics, text, precision stonework or anything remotely advanced was because they needed to fool the enemy.
1:16 AM Mr. Blue
They built it to live in and it was built 2800 years ago.
11:17 AM Mr. Brown
It was definitely a fortress, with doors that only open and close from inside manipulation.
11:18 AM Mr. Silver
Like my house...locks on doors and windows...a fortress.
11:19 AM Mr. Blue
It just seems like they found that the volcanic rock was easy to carve out...so they did it.
The softer rock was eroded by wind and water, leaving the hard cap rock on top of pillars, forming the present-day fairy chimneys. People of Göreme, at the heart of the Cappadocia Region, realized that these soft rocks could be easily carved out to form houses, churches, monasteries.”
11:22 AM Mr. Silver
Nay...it was the dwarves of Middle Earth.  The reason only part can be toured is because there is mithril mining, goblins, and rumors of a balrog lower down.
11:28 AM Mr. Brown
There are also lizard people further down.
It would not surprise me if we ever find a subterranean ape.
11:29 AM Mr. Blue
What would they eat?
11:30 AM Mr. Silver
Subterranean bananas.
11:32 AM Mr. Brown
Well, there is probably something that can be eaten down there, or there would not be other creatures.
11:32 AM Mr. Blue
No there isn't. There *aren't* other creatures underground.
11:33 AM Mr. Silver
What creatures?
There are tiny marginal pockets of small lifeforms and they are in surface-linked caves that drip in enough nutrients and water to sustain the microbes at the base of the food chain.
11:34 AM Mr. Blue
There are things like bats, but they leave caves to eat because there's no food underground.
11:34 AM Mr. Brown
I’m not saying it would not be connected to above
11:35 AM Mr. Blue
You said "there is probably something that can be eaten down there". Like what?
11:35 AM Mr. Brown
There are cave spiders.
11:37 AM Mr. Blue
I don't know if cave spiders alone are abundant or nutritious enough to sustain an entire race of primates.
11:37 AM Mr. Amethyst
Tiny primates that need to eat once every 3 years.
11:38 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
If I want to be realistic, they would come out to get a lot of stuff but live in caves.
11:40 AM Mr. Blue
That's perfectly realistic
It actually happened.

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