557 - Gold-Filled Age Comics, Tesla Died So You Could Waste Time Online, Maybe The Family Name Was "Thousand" And 10 Of Them Died

[10:26]

Augh...You are making me dredge up old ideas like "Unnatural Woman"

(sings "'cause you make me feel like Unnatural Woman...")

[10:27 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Unnatural Woman? What is that bulge I see at your crotch? Is that cod piece? 

[10:27 AM] 

She...is actually a heroine. Unlike the murderous Miss Anthropy

Opponents, of course

[10:28 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

There's a superhero – The Cod Piece

Has a super bionic codpiece

[10:29 AM] 

"Ware, evil doers! Surrender now or I – The Cod Piece – will bring you (beat) Piece...on Earth!"

(stunned silence) "Did he really say that?"

"PU"

"So is he supposed to a fish guy, or...?"

"It's a dick joke...look at hi-"

"SILENCE, VILLAINS!"

[10:30 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Kite Man!

[10:30 AM] 

Exists. Bleh.

[10:30 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

yes

[10:31 AM] 

There was a period where they were just trying to fill books with original characters. Didn't matter if they made any sense at all.  Cartoons on paper. 

Some had higher standards than others of course

[10:42 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

“I am The Cobbler!”

[10:42 AM] 

"Shoes or dessert?"

[10:42 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

“Shoes. Come over here you have a loose sole! HAHAHAH!!!

[10:42 AM] 

"Oh...(ignores, looks disappointed)"

[10:43 AM] 

(Golden Age comics producer) "We need something new...different!" 

"Uh...(looks though book on animals)  Thompson's Gazelle Man?"

"Huh?  Why not just Gazelle Man?"

"(points in book)"

"Oh...huh... Thompson's Gazelle.  (shrug)  Have a pitch for me by Friday."

[10:45 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Wild Ass Man

Can't we just call him Donkeyman?

No I really want this to come from Africa – Wild Ass Man

[10:45 AM] 

Nice battle cry

"HOOOOOOONNNNN-heeeeeeeeee!!!!!"

[10:46 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Has a very strong kick

Police to The Cobbler  "All across the city, change is being given wrong" 

Cobbler "Hmm I see. This sounds like Short Change is at it again."

[10:54 AM] 

Funny

I did a hero called "Exact Change" once

Both for the cent symbol he used, and for "his mission" to assertively correct/change things. 

[10:57 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

I am Alabaster

[10:58 AM] 

Alabastard

"Albert Bastard had enough one day..."

[11:06 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Melancholy

Extremely powerful, just not very motivated to do the hero job

[11:07 AM] 

Too depressed to save the world?

(Villain sitting with arm around Melancholy's shoulder) "Look, it's OKAY if you try to stop me.  I want you to stop me...REALLY.  Just punch me a little. Just a little – you'll feel better, I swear.  I don't really want to rule the city...it's...it's just that (wipes away tear)...my mom, she's so...you know how they are...(deep breath, holding back a sob)... I try. (cracks) I do! I really try; but nothing I do is ever good enough, you know? God! I promised myself I wouldn't get like this again..."

[11:10 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

The villain has to be opposite of him

Excitinator

[11:11 AM] 

Dresses like a cheerleader?

[11:11 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Yep

I see Melancholy dressed like a goth

[11:08 AM]  Mr. Oleo: 

lol

very entertaining

Mr. Brown would obtain super hero powers after being bitten by the beaver he said he could beat in a fight. He'd have incredible swim speed and could dam a raging river in mere hours. No wood would be safe near him.

[11:09]

No wood is safe!

LOL

[11:13 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

And i could take down Thanos

BOOOM

Just like Squirrel Girl

[11:15 AM]  Mr. Oleo: 

It's sad that life doesn't work that way.

[11:34 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

I am Cupball

I use my cup and ball games to apprehend villains

That's as bad as Kite Man

lol

[11:40 AM]  Mr. Oleo: 

Stevia Man. He's a bit of an anti-hero because he can sweeten any material he touches without adding any calories but you have to be ok with him dipping his finger into your food or drink to do so.

[11:43 AM] 

Ewwwwww

(reconstruction)  "Stand back citizen!  (motions dunking finger) 

"Eww!  What are you doing?  Stop that!" 

[11:46 AM] Mr. Oleo:

Then he tastes it.  "Say...that's not so bad."

[12:29 PM] 

All this exchange with you in it, of course, raises the point that we miss Ms. Rose as a conversation partner.  She was great.  :)

[12:30 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

She's now selling "laser pew pew" lenses to various companies. Handling their orders and such. She really likes it there.

They custom make laser lenses and housing for them and sell them to all sorts of places. Military, commercial airlines, assembly plants, etc.

[12:35 PM] 

Coo

Super villain, "The Marker" – who definitely isn't me though we are somehow never seen together – now knows where to get his "Hurt Real Bad Ray" pieces.

[12:36 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

Yes and they are slightly radioactive too so that always helps.

[12:36 PM] 

Bonus

[9:06 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

The Tesla stuff I was watching was about if he was murdered and his death ray

I was thinking about his wireless power solution, wondering what would happen if it was implemented across the world

[9:11 AM] 

Well...it would have F'd up modern electronics

Meaning we'd either have an entirely different technology, or we'd still be stuck in the miraculous "Electric Age"

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

The planetary effects it could have, also

On the magnetic field, for instance

Would it hurt it, or add another layer?

lol

[9:13 AM] 

All in all, I'm guessing Westinghouse's greed made our world possible

I'd say there's a time travel story there...except you couldn't have developed a technological time machine under those conditions.

And yes, there's the health/environment questions of exposure to that kind of energy all over the world.

[9:16 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

right

That is kinda what i was pondering

[1:37 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

first one under "notable incidents" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mooning#Notable_incidents

[1:37 PM] 

10000?

In 80AD?

From a small panic?

[1:40 PM] 

"Tommy" FlaNAYgin Josephus - "Yeah and they ran...they stampeded...yeah.  They stampeded and a guy...10 guys...10 THOUSAND guys...were hurt - KILLED... Yeah.  That's the ticket.  But you won't have heard about it, it happened a year...it happened...16 years ago.  Yeah. It happened right over...FAR away."

[1:41 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

If it was a busy day for pilgrims... It could be possible

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_human_stampedes

Some of those death tolls are insane

[1:53 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 

Well in that time a small injury would do it

Buncha broken bones

[1:59 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Even the human stampedes from the 2000s have hundreds of dead

Obviously my agoraphobia is just an evolutionary defense mechanism

[2:00 PM] 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographic_history_of_Jerusalem#1st_century_Judea

Considering these - ehem - "slightly" different numbers...  Good ol' Joe is full of shit.

[2:02 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

So probably a few hundred died in the riot/stampede, and no more than 1000

[2:03 PM] 

Probably

[2:03 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

There is no way 1/6th of the city died in a panic. The streets would've been paved with bones

[2:03 PM] 

Quite the sensationalist

[2:08 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 

"Well that guy there, he died 2 times. And this one over here died 4 times."

[2:08 PM] 

I could see a "riot" that resulted in factions killing each other. I could see a massacre.

Running from cops? Nooooooope.

[2:10 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

It's interesting that Jerusalem was smaller 150 years ago than it was 2000 years ago

[2:10 PM] 

To put it in even more perspective, I JUST happened to have looked up the US casualties for every war/action we've participated in.

And...well...those people were actively TRYING to kill each other over long periods of time.  Go have a look