Wednesday, January 23, 2019

494 - You're Playing God With God

[2:44 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Guy told me he'd having issues downloading stuff on his torrents for "legal stuff".
But he is using a vpn/proxy to hide himself
The moment you have to specify “legal stuff”, you're not downloading legal stuff
[2:45 PM] 
"Legal where?  Illinois?  Is it IL legal?"
I like that ... "Illinois Legal"
Oooooo...no hits on a Google search or Urban Dictionary
I've found a new one.
Woot!



[2:55 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
"Come to McDonald's! I'm Enjoyin' It!"
[3:05 PM] 
Good I wasn't on a call, you made me laugh out loud with that'n



[1:53 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Speaking of Fletcher Christian... If you're related to him you'd also be related to every inhabitant of Pitcairn Island
Only 57 people, but still
[1:57 PM] 
Right
Turns out he was related to other people before Pitcairn...
:P
[1:58 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
*|
[2:00 PM] 
"This mutiny is the deplorable act of a bastard, Mr. Christian, and bastard I call thee!"  
"No bastard am I, Captain Bligh, for I am spontaneously generated from bilge water and anchor cable!"
[2:30 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Did you ever see the KITH skit about the shoe salesman who shares a name with Christian?
"Fletcher Christian.. the other one.. led a mutiny, took control of the ship The Bounty and started a colony on Pitcairn Island where his descendants still survive to this day!  Meanwhile, I am barely tolerated by my co-workers and I live with a cat."
[2:41 PM] 
A subtle "dull character study" one.
[2:42 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yes
not very funny or memorable but always pops in my head when the bounty comes up
[2:43 PM] 
Not the same sorta pow as "Test Tube Baby"
[2:44 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
[cashier apathetically] "How are you today sir?"
[earnestly] "Not too good... and it's because I'm a test tube baby."
Test Tube Baby would be a good band name
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
They always try to say test tube babies are bad
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Who?
[2:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Culture
lol
You're sick all the time. Must be a test tube baby
[2:47 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Usually I think of that with premies
[2:48 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Honestly if a test tube baby is made correctly it will get sick less i would think
[2:49 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i don't think nature can tell the difference
if you're just talking about fertilizing the egg in a lab vs. inside a human body... no difference
[2:50 PM] 
Yes...Pyrex trumps a billion years of evolution
[2:50 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
lol
[2:52 PM] 
This is a process so chemically and energetically and physics-ally complex that we'll likely never do better than guess most of the middling aspects
[2:54 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
You think? It seems like we might be close to eliminating some hereditary diseases and stuff
[2:54 PM] 
Oh, certainly
We can and will continue to do amazing stuff
It's a matter of scale
We used to cut off limbs
Then we cleaned and sewed
Then reconnected tissues
Then replaced them
Then neural repair and microsurgery and...etc etc...
Soon you'll go in and they'll run your genes and see you're missing some sequence or have a screwup....
Make a strand of RNA and shoot you up with a retrovirus full of it.
But
It's still just picking targets
Hell...the full fertility process for a girl (creepy) involves the mother generating the girl's eggs in the fetus FOR her.
Your mom couldn't have had you if your grandma didn't set it up.
Its SO friggin' complicated
Yet it works...
So well that Earth is covered with living stuff.
[3:03 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
weird
[3:03 PM] 
So...test tube baby?...works
As well?  Probably never
Will they make an artificial womb?
Sure
[3:04 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i have little hope of that being any good
[3:04 PM] 
Expect horrors
"As long as there's no flipper babies, am I right?"
But it's likely solvable.  Probably won't produce the same humans though.  Genetically, yes. 
[3:07 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I recall some animals being born in artificial wombs
A deer maybe? never heard much after it was first "born" though
Hard to tell if a deer has any mental or physical defects though
[3:07 PM] 
In bags, basically.  Yes
[3:08 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i don't even think it was a bag.. i think it was just kind of like a tupperware tub of goo... and to be "born" they just lifted it out of it, like The Matrix
[3:14 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Deer batteries
Surprised we have not done that yet
Use living things as power sources in The Matrix like way
[3:24 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
We don't generate much power or electricity
[3:26 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I'm talking like animals that do
[3:27 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Like electric eels?
they don't really do continuous electricity... they have to recharge after each short burst, probably for a while
[3:29 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I'm sure there are others that might generate more continuously or could be made to
lol



[8:51 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
We can't go a day without an issue
[8:51 AM] 
Messed with the flow, man...
Just changed a schedule a bit and BOOM!!!!
Big FU from the Universe!
"UNGRATEFUL CURS!  LAMENT YOUR DEATHS BY SERVER ERRORS AND BRIMSTONE!"
[8:54 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Crush your statistics, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the employees!
[8:54 AM] 
"DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE A**!"
"That's mou-"
"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"
[8:54 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
I got the feeling from Mark that he knew this would happen
Just like WE all knew
[8:55 AM] 
We've been here longer
[8:55 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Yep
LOL
Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then the HELL with you!”
I like that Crom prayer
[8:58 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
Crom is the Conan god, right?
[8:58 AM] 
Put in “God” for “Crom” and picture yourself back before the oceans drank Atlantis
[8:58 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
yes
Giants walked the lands
[9:00 AM] 
I'm just saying Old Testament God was a bit more...uh...brutal
[9:00 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
He's calmed down in his old age
[9:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Continuity is an issue in all sequels
[9:04 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Teen age god
Middle age god
Senior god
With a stint of human-life stages in there in the middle
[9:15 AM] 
Old T God - "Ok...so here's the deal.  There's this entire country over here of … well ... admittedly good people who never harmed anyone. Go and raze the place and kill every man woman and child...pet...livestock!  Know what?  Find and get all the mice too!  I'm not going to explain why to anyone so don't ask or you will face my wrath!  Anyway, if you do that, I'll CONSIDER forgiving you for that shrimp you ate at that party 6 years ago that I was planning to burn your genitals off for. (Thunderclaps!)"
New T God - "Chill man... It was just the pagan neighbors wanting access to a stretch of the river and getting a little assertive. Give them a good spot and leave them alone. Everything's cool..."
[9:16 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 
OT Angel: “God, GOD! Chill Dude, he ain't worth it!”
[9:17 AM] 
"Forget it God...it's Earth-town..."
[9:18 AM] 
God the Novice Game Programmer - "I've got this AWESOME game where teams massacre each other and take territory!" 
Humanity "Can't we just herd sheep and grow crops?"
God "LAME!  Go fight! So sayeth THE LORD!"
(1000s of years later, God the Mature Game Programmer) "Hey all! I've got this new game where everyone herds sheep, grows crops and tries to improve themselves and their fellows."
Humanity "LAME!  Do we have to?"
"Yes!  So sayeth He who loves you. Have fun with it."
Humanity "Oh cool! THE LORD forgot to take out the PVP checkbox!  ROAR!!!"
[9:22 AM] 
(Later...in the dark...looking at reviews of His new MMORPG...  His Mighty Hands type 'Format C:'... They hover over the Enter key... uncertain...)

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