[8:30
AM] Mr. Blue:
[8:31
AM]
That's
a big rat
The
“Großes Ziel” tank
[8:34
AM] Mr. Blue:
Proposed
by Krupp director Timo "Die Tool Mensch" Schneider
"Sir,
the allies have broken past the oder... they're right outside of
Berlin."
"You
know what we need? More power argh argh argh!"
[8:37
AM]
Hehe
"Here's
your problem! You have part of this measured in short tons,
part in long tons, and part in tonnes."
[8:39
AM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
[8:41
AM]
"The
Rat is totally impractical! I propose this instead -"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1500_Monster
[8:42
AM] Mr. Blue:
Good
lord!
Representing
the apex of the German cartoonish artillery designs
[8:44
AM]
[8:45
AM] Mr. Blue:
I
was just gonna link that
The
Germans were nuts
[8:48
AM]
Yup
[8:49
AM] Mr. Blue:
I
love the color image with the military guys all facing away from the
camera
[9:04
AM]
Ugh...that
was depressing...
(Commercial
opens on garage band "Fries With That", about as talented
as the majority of any early punk band. Dad comes in, pulls the
power.)
"Aww
DAD! I was just about to go into my solo!"
"Guess
I was just in time, eh?"
(kids
are crushed...)
(Image
changes to a sparkling clean garage with a new vehicle backing in.)
(Voiceover)
"Out with the old, in with the new!"
[9:06
AM]
(Me)
"Crush your child's dream! Then buy a new car! Hey,
where did you park the old car? It wasn't in this garage anyway, so
you don't need the garage! But, nah...kick your kid out instead of
letting him pursue his passion! FU, dad! But at least you
got a new car! Out with the new, in with the old bastard!"
[9:08
AM] Mr. Blue:
I've
seen that
The
band name sort of alludes to the idea that the kids, being in a band,
will be flipping burgers if they aren't already
[9:10
AM]
Yup
Good
name though, despite that
I
can hear the crowds shouting in 5 years
"We
want! (clap clap clap!) Fries with That!"
[11:13
AM]
Remembered
a joke I was writing half asleep...
...
Two
women go to a nice singles bar. The one is new to the dating
scene but she confidently goes off by herself to talk to guys.
Her friend doesn't really have any luck, and they meet up at the end,
no luck for the other either.
"You
meet anyone good?"
"Well.
The first was really cute, but when I asked what he did, he said he
was a pollster. No way."
"Uh...Ok.
Anyone else?"
"Well,
the second was a nice guy too, but he was a statistician. Ugh!"
"...R-ight...
That it?"
"No,
one more. He was really great! Handsome...funny..."
"But?"
"He
was an accountant."
"I
don't get it. What was wrong with ANY of them?"
"Well,
my mom said when I start into serious dating, never get involved with
anyone involved in a counter culture."
(dodges
eggs and tomatoes)
Still...it
came out better than I expected.
[11:47
AM] Mr. Blue:
[12:05
PM]
Thank
you, Mr. Blue. That means a lot to me.
[12:06
PM] Mr. Blue:
Nah,
it's a good joke
[12:07
PM]
:)
[12:17
PM] Mr. Blue:
Usually
my half-asleep ideas seem ingenious at the time but are ridiculous in
the light of day
[1:16
PM] Mr. Brown:
I
would like a new Swamp Thing
[1:18
PM]
(high
class sales attendant) "Excellent, sir. Please, wade with
me to the showroom. Had you any particular features in mind?"
[1:19
PM] Mr. Brown:
Gotta
be green with hints of brown
[1:21
PM]
"Green
with hints of brown... Ah! I think I have something you'll like, sir.
Verdant Monstrosities has a new “Behemoth” line for 2017.
They start at 8' - a bit large for some, but a classic heap and not
as showy as a Morass “Gargantua”.
This way, please."
[1:20
PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL,
Mr. Silver
[12:37
PM] Mr. Brown:
20
years ago, people thought they could hitch a ride on a comet with
very nice shoes.
[12:40
PM]
I
don't remember that, myself
[12:43
PM] Mr. Brown:
The
Heaven's Gate thing
[12:43
PM]
Ohhh...those
dips
Anniversary?
[12:43
PM] Mr. Brown:
Apparently
their website is still up and is updated
[12:45
PM]
"Welcome
to Heaven's Late - website of the guy who got a flat tire while out
picking up groceries for the space flight on the Big Day."
"Pretty
dead around the compound these days... BA doom CHISSSSSHHHH!
But I can't complain too much -- I missed the comet, but I stiiiiiill
have the bank account!"
[12:49
PM] Mr. Blue:
Hale-Bopp
will return in a mere 2,300 years
[12:51
PM]
I'd
find a new comet cult before I'd wait that long.
[12:55
PM] Mr. Brown:
The
survivors say they are in contact with the departed. lol
[12:55
PM]
"Daily
meditation sessions in the Holy of Holies pyramid aren't going well.
After not successfully hitching a ride on 2P/Encke in February, I was
really hoping that an early start flagging down C/2015 ER61 would at
least get me a telepathic "Maybe"."
How
many survivors are left?
[1:10
PM] Mr. Brown:
I
think 2
maybe
3
[1:13
PM] Mr. Blue:
Ran
into "Louis Jordan" twice in wiki browsing today
- “Swamp Thing”
- Clicking around comets, went to the 1811 comet, then clicked on a movie he did about it...or about a bottle of wine from 1811...I'm not sure.
[9:51
AM]
(Commercial)
"The best suit you'll ever own is the one that you design
yourself!"
I
agree
Here's
an example:
He
just popped into my head during the commercial. I had to look Bowie
SNL up to remember his name
[9:53
AM] Mr. Blue:
[9:53
AM]
Another
excellent suit, Mr. Blue
Then
there's this couture from Chez Chaplin:
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+little+tramp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjFlavPpe_SAhWR8oMKHaOgDc4Q_AUICSgC&biw=1163&bih=788
[9:58
AM] Mr. Brown:
[9:59
AM]
The
one looks like armor.
Heheh
[9:59
AM] Mr. Blue:
For
when you've gotta draw attention away from your date's ET toes
[8:58
AM]
Got
it!
Been
waiting for that stupid commercial to come back on CNN for a couple
weeks just to be sure I heard what they said right.
(Commercial
starts playing...Buff blue-eyed Jesus wandering around dusty props and bland surroundings and beige townsfolk because lots of people who make Bible films think no
one decorated or cleaned anything 'back then'.)
(Dramatic
voice over) "An epic story...from the dawn of history..."
Dude!
Even if the dips who think the world is 6000 years old
are right, Jesus didn't live anywhere near the dawn of
history.
If
2017 were something like 2PM...It would be a (not-an-epic) story
from about Noon.
And
depending on who you ask...more like 12:45.
And
if you are really generous with your definitions, more like 10
minutes after 1, but that's a stretch.
(…then
after the weekend… - Mr. Silver)
Remember
my rant last week about the Jesus story commercial and the line "an epic
story from the dawn of history"?
Today's
commercial said "An epic story from the dawn of time!"
ZOW!
On
this scale:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmic_Calendar#History_begins
It's
a story from 31 Dec, 23:59:55
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