Friday, November 14, 2014

Day 313 - The Greatest Disease To Come Out Of Africa, God Has To Write "Forbidden" On All The Stuff He Leaves In The Breakroom Fridge Now, "Say The Secret Woid & Win 75 Million Years Of Evolution", and The Curse of Hungry Hungry

1:42 PM Mr. Silver
Interesting...one site I read focused on the 550k number...Rawstory went whole hog.  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/09/ebola-could-infect-1-4-million-by-2015-us-warns/
1:44 PM Mr. Amethyst
Awesome!
Time to panic?
1:44 PM Mr. Blue
Nah, it's just Africa.
1:45 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah. They even say in the article its old data.
1:48 PM Mr. Silver
We need a disease that...I dunno...makes people turn into a tree or something.
1:48 PM Mr. Brown
A parasite that turns us into fuel for plants.
LOL
1:49 PM Mr. Silver
Dying turns us into fuel for plants now.
1:49 PM Mr. Blue
Why does the worst stuff always come from Africa?
1:50 PM Mr. Green
Good point. Humans came from Africa.
1:50 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
1:50 PM Mr. Silver
The diseases are why we left Africa!
And now they are coming to find us!
There is no escape, puny humans.”



1:53 PM Mr. Green
Suck flaming sword....
He drove out the man, and at the east of the Garden of Eden He placed the
cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the Tree
of Life.”
You’re gonna die... 'cause... 'cause you ate My fruit... and I was saving that!”
1:56 PM Mr. Silver
"And the Lord said, If you would live, no one eat My fruit, for I licked of it."
1:58 PM Mr. Silver
"And lo the serpent did enter the breakroom and saw the fruit, and looking around he did not see The Lord, and he took of it and ate.  And Eve came in after and asked of the serpent, are you finishing that?"
2:00 PM Mr. Blue
"And Steve from Accounting walketh in and said unto them, "my name was on that"."
2:02 PM Mr. Silver
"And the serpent called BS, and Steve balked saying how didst thou know."
"And the serpent spake saying this is the Fruit of the Lord that He licked, and you want it yourself."
"And Steve protested that he did but want to try, and asked if it was good."
"And Eve and the serpent said 'although we know it was wicked to take of The Lord's fruit, we also have knowledge that it is Good."
"And Adam came in on break and asked what was up.  And Eve said that he ‘gotta try this’."
2:04 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
2:08 PM Mr. Silver
"And Adam did try a piece and called it good though he liked his fruit with some salt."
"And he asked of Eve, didst thou bring this in, for it is good."
2:11 PM Mr. Silver
"And Eve said nay, it is the fruit of The Lord.  And Adam did look upon the clock and saw that it was noon, and was sore afraid, for it was the Lord's lunchtime, and the man and the woman were sore afraid, but the serpent was back at his desk."
2:10 PM Mr. Blue
"And Adam exclaimed, "If God is all knowing why didn't He foresee us eating this fruit?" and Eve's mind was blown."
2:11 PM Mr. Amethyst
Actually that reminds me of a question I heard: If God hates to see his children suffer
and is all knowing, then He must know lots of His children will sin, thus suffer because He made those rules
So perhaps God is a sadist.
2:12 PM Mr. Green
PERHAPS?!
2:12 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
2:12 PM Mr. Silver
I've said it before...the Guy is making up a lot as He goes and wasn't always very good at this.
He isn't that great at it now either, but I believe...again...I pondered in here that He might have given up a little like any burned out dad just wanting a little peace.
2:13 PM Mr. Brown
OK, I'm going to make all these rules then put this fruit here, which I know they will eat. And then I can punish them for thousands of years. This is going to be fun!”
2:14 PM Mr. Silver
God "I endow you with the blessing of free will and nothing to do but eat, sleep, and boink.  By the way, don't mess with these two trees."
2:15 PM Mr. Brown
God “And FREE WILL, which I'm sure you can handle at your age. (Eat the fruit eat the fruit! You (and I) know you wanna!”)
God “Well...I have to go... Have fun, kids!”
2:17 PM Mr. Silver
(2 weeks in...) Eve "Well...we've played with every animal and plant except these two trees."
2:17 PM Mr. Amethyst
"played"
OHHHHHH
I went there.
2:17 PM Mr. Brown
Yep, you did.
Because Adam ate the fruit and gave us dirty thoughts.
2:18 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
2:19 PM Mr. Silver
Adam "So...do you want to try Life or Knowledge?"
2:19 PM Mr. Silver
Eve "Are you kidding?  I'm bored to tears here...live forever?  Heck with that!"
2:19 PM Mr. Amethyst
People say apple but wasn't it a pomegranate?
Life or knowledge? Is there a tree of titties?
2:19 PM Mr. Brown
Tree of unending titties.
I heard pomegranate too.
2:52 PM Mr. Silver
Point of order...if the forbidden fruit of Knowledge was any fruit we could eat now, we'd have smarter people.
2:53 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahaha
2:53 PM Mr. Amethyst
"We eat only the allowed fruits now...hence the quality level of the American education system."
2:53 PM Mr. Silver
Do you suppose psychopaths have just never tasted...like...a holy banana?
2:54 PM Mr. Silver
"He's not disturbed, Mrs Smith.  His lack of conscience and his strange interests in...frankly...foul subjects is merely a nutritional deficiency.  Here son...try this." 
"What is it?"
"The Forbidden Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. It's called an orange...try."
(Munch)
"Like it?"
"I… feel."
"Excellent! He'll be fine, Mrs. Smith – just give him one a day for a while."
2:56 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL



Mr. Silver
The original artist depiction of the so-called “Schnozzelsaurus” showed the beast with thick glasses frames and a bushy black mustache:
http://www.sci-news.com/paleontology/science-rhinorex-condrupus-new-herbivorous-dinosaur-utah-02158.html
10:02 AM Mr. Silver
"Noted paleontologists say the Rhinorex schnoz far exceeds the nose size of the previous and still famously disputed records held by examples of the Durantesaurus, and the Cyranodebergerex." 
10:10 AM Mr. Silver
(3d animation of life in the late Cretaceous...majestic big nosed beasts calling to each other...)  "Hot cha cha cha!  Hot cha cha cha!"  "Secret woid?  Secret woid?" “Roxane…Rrrrrroxane.”
10:12 AM Mr. Blue
Hehehe
11:20 AM Mr. Brown
I didn’t read the article, but did they say how they determined it had a big nose?
11:22 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah…turns out the skeleton has a big schnoz.



Mr. Silver
11:57 AM Mr. Brown
So we jump right to hippo?
11:58 PM Mr. Amethyst
I'd guess turkey before hippo.
11:58 AM Mr. Silver
"Jimmi Hoffa spotted in Chicago River"
Jimmy
"Jimi Hendrix spotted in Chicago River"
12:01 PM Mr. Silver
"It's the curse of Hungry Hungry", claimed Mary Ellsworth, late employee of the Peltier Marble Factory of Ottawa Illinois, which closed in 2010 and was demolished earlier this year." 
"Workers in marbles production had spotted mysterious shapes in the water all the way back to 1927.  After an unexplained robbery, one of the guys joked it was a hippo that ate them and the legend was born."
12:05 PM Mr. Silver
"It's Hungry Hungry, looking for marbles!"
12:17 PM Mr. Silver
Does Chicago already have a river cryptid?  I kind of like this legend.
12:17 PM Mr. Amethyst
They have “The Floater”.
12:29 PM Mr. Silver
Ah yes, that one.
"Witnesses describe the beast as roughly man-like in shape...navy blue to charcoal gray skinned, sometimes with pinstripes...and floats lazily down the river with the current."
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
"At the nob-like end...the only part of The Floater to display hair...is often 1 or 2 holes.  These are assumed to be blowholes..."
"The creature is never observed to be breathing, however."
12:35 PM Mr. Amethyst
"The Floater has never been seen to move any of its limbs, nor make any audible sound. Cryptid investigators assume communication is subsonic, though some alien investigators suspect telepathy."
12:36 PM Mr. Silver
"The earliest reference to the monster, the phase 'floaters tell no tales', dates back to the height of Prohibition days in old Chicagoland."
12:37 PM Mr. Brown
Rasputin.
12:38 PM Mr. Silver
Rasputin made it to Chicago and still lives in the river?
Clever man.

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