Sunday, August 3, 2014

Day 297 - Woolslayer The Barbarian, "Now Let's TALK About The Blue Tiger", Only We Are Entitled, Supercritical Snacks, and "The Adventures of Schlock Holmes"

Mr. Silver
(Reads email about Kudos Award)
Winner: Mick Woolslayer”
Mr. Silver
Wool Slayer!
1:59 PM Mr. Brown
I think we talked about that before. LOL
Rock scream singing "WOOL SLAYER !!! I slay the wool so you don't get cool!”
2:00 PM Mr. Blue
Mort tried asking him what his name means and he wasn't really receptive.
2:00 PM Mr. Silver
(heroic music...brass, drums)  "In a time of legends, before the 3rd dynasty of the Aquilonians...HE came."
"The scourge of Hell, the sheep, had ravaged the land from the Sea of Spiders to the south, to the Ice Teeth in the north..."
I'm picturing a campaign to subjugate the demons, resulting in our current passive quadruped friends.
But I'm too busy to write it.
2:05 PM Mr. Brown
All I can keep coming up with is a Metal anthem called Wool Slayer
WOOOOOOOLLL SLAYYYYYER! EEE AAAAARRRRRRRR!”
2:05 PM Mr. Silver
We'll fit it in the movie.
Mr. Blue
I remember the First War - the way the sky burned, the faces of sheep destroyed. I saw a third of our flock banished, and the creation of Hell. I stood with my brothers and watched wool fall. But now my brothers are not brothers, and we have come here where we are mortal to steal the dark sweaters, to serve our cause. I have always obeyed, but I never thought the wool slaying would happen again.”
2:08 PM Mr. Brown
He stands at the crest of the the hill, at the top of the battlefield; wearing his black woolen sweater and sheep's head helmet, holding the biggest lamb chop ever seen.



Mr. Brown
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
"China's Maltese tiger is considered so rare partially because Malta is not in China, and partially because there are no tigers in Malta."
11:31 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
11:32 AM Mr. Silver
"Underneath the blue and black stripes, the Maltese tiger is rumored to be made of gold and jewels, and has been sought for many years by gangster types in old movies."
11:33 AM Mr. Blue
"The scruff dreams are made of"
meh
11:34 AM Mr. Silver
You tried.



Mr. Silver
So Mr. Green indulged in a couple hours of Fox News to see how bad it is last night.
Mr. Green
It's disturbing...truly disturbing. I spent a couple hours watching it last night just see what they were saying about the shutdown, debt limit, etc., compared to MSNBC and CNN. Anyone that watches Fox News has to truly be a hateful idiot.
7:11 AM Mr. Green
They really blame the President for EVERYTHING... bad mouth him at every turn. 
7:13 AM Mr. Green
You know how I know the President is a decent guy? He hasn't had Rupert Murdock killed. I would if I was him...
7:16 AM Mr. Silver
Hehe
Point.
7:29 AM Mr. Green
8:06 AM Mr. Silver
Loonies
8:11 AM Mr. Silver
However you talk to that type and they seem to all be like that.
"All the stuff I get is my God given right!  I can't believe the corrupt gummint hands out to them." (for example)
9:36 AM Mr. Silver
Mrs Silver's sister and her ex are like that.
9:36 AM Mr. Brown
Its my God given right to have public money given to me, but not them.
9:36 AM Mr. Silver
Friend of ours and her husband are like that too.
"They're cutting a bunch of funding for my kid's special needs.  We were having trouble as it was."
Mrs. Silver "Stop voting Republican, Christie.  They're the ones always screaming to cut your stuff."
"Welllll....."
9:36 AM Mr. Blue
Heh
I read that on Facebook almost weekly.
People think that, like, most or even all of our tax dollars go to people that sit on the couch and watch TV all day.
I forget what percentage of our taxes even goes towards welfare (let alone what percentage of welfare recipients abuse the system) but it's miniscule.
Taxes go to important things like roads and police and fire and schools.
I think that's a basic concept that most conservatives do not understand.
9:43 AM Mr. Blue
"I just saw someone at the grocery store buying steaks with food stamps. I’m SO GLAD my tax dollars are going towards that!!"
9:43 AM Mr. Silver
Mrs Silver's sister "Cut all these handouts to these people! They just abuse it and then have more kids!"
"How's it going with your 3 kids and that WIC stuff?"
"Great! It really helps!"
9:44 AM Mr. Blue
Well *they* don't abuse it, but everyone else does, you see?
9:45 AM Mr. Silver
I'm sure!



Mr. Silver
Must be in a mood...cupcakes coming around for the party. 
(overheard behind me)  "I'll put on gloves and start passing them out."
(My mind going paranoid) "Gloves!?  Why do you need to wear gloves!?  What kind of cupcakes ARE these!?!?" 
3:01 PM Mr. Blue
You misheard. It's YELLOW cakes.
3:02 PM Mr. Silver
Katzenjammer is building a BOMB!
3:03 PM Mr. Blue
WARNING: do not stare directly into cupcakes.
3:05 PM Mr. Silver
Caution: Follow Alpha and Beta radiation protocols when handling cupcakes.
3:05 PM Mr. Brown
Caution: These cupcakes are hot.
3:06 PM Mr. Blue
"Why is my cupcake glowing?"
3:06 PM Mr. Blue
If blisters, vomiting or hair loss occurs, please see your supervisor.



9:31 AM Mr. Blue
I never got into Sherlock, but I like detective stuff.
Poirot is cool.
9:32 AM Mr. Silver
I think Moriarty's biggest claim to fame is probably because he was the only named villain worth writing a pop play, film or TV show about.
PBS can do a Sherlock series with a lot of uninspiring villain names...
But if Hollywood was to try "Sherlock Holmes and the Fatal Plot of Some Guy Named Jim", it isn't gonna sell tickets.
9:33 AM Mr. Blue
Are there any good Sherlock Holmes movies that either aren't watered down for censorship reasons or over-the-top like Downey's?
9:34 AM Mr. Silver
"Murder By Decree"
Decidedly nasty.
Sherlock hunts Jack the Ripper.
9:35 AM Mr. Blue
Cool.
9:35 AM Mr. Silver
When you watch it, you'll find it very familiar, unfortunately.
9:35 AM Mr. Blue
Why's that? People ripped it off?
9:36 AM Mr. Gray
"The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother" for the win.
9:36 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, that's a good one.
9:36 AM Mr. Silver
The “original” graphic novel that was turned into the Johnny Depp movie “From Hell” clearly plagiarized it, and no one said anything.
9:36 AM Mr. Blue
I've seen “From Hell” a few times, its not bad.
It shows his drug habits and the nastier side of investigations.
9:45 AM Mr. Blue
I haven't seen haven't seen "The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother".
I went looking for some Clint Eastwood movies on Netflix.
There are more Clint Howard movies than there are Clint Eastwood movies.
9:53 AM Mr. Silver
"Clint Eastwood and Clint Howard together at last as Sherlock and Watson!"
9:54 AM Mr. Blue
Jesus...
9:58 AM Mr. Blue
"Clint Eastwood and Clint Howard in 'The Good, the Bad and the Supremely Ugly'."
9:58 AM Mr. Silver
Howard's Watson - "Holmes, I don't doubt your conclusions...no one does.  But we can never prove it in court."
Moriarty "And, as I still profess my innocence, that is the way the cards fall. An excellent game, Holmes, but I'm afraid I walk free.."
Eastwood's Holmes - "You forgot my trump card. (pulls out revolver, blasts Moriarty). Yeah...good game..."
10:01 AM Mr. Brown
My name is DracuBLAH.
10:01 AM Mr. Silver
I'd watch that film.
I'd watch both the Sherlock and vampire one, really.
Who are you casting as DracuBLAH?
10:02 AM Mr. Brown
Hmm. That's a good one to think hard about.
10:02 AM Mr. Blue
Clint Howard, obviously.
10:02 AM Mr. Silver
Gold!
10:03 AM Mr. Blue
Investigator "Very distinctive bite marks.. looks like they were bitten by a woodchuck."
10:03 AM Mr. Blue
How about a romantic comedy where Taylor Lautner and Clint Howard compete for the affections of.. let's say.. Julianne Hough?
10:04 AM Mr. Brown
No. Halle Berry.
10:04 AM Mr. Blue
Too old.
10:04 AM Mr. Brown
That’s the point. Go the other way with it for once.
10:04 AM Mr. Blue
Well then, make it.... Judi Dench.
10:04 AM Mr. Brown
OK, so Clint Howard is DracuBLAH...and Lautner is VAN Helsing.
10:05 AM Mr. Blue
Always a loud emphasis on VAN.
10:05 AM Mr. Brown
Right
LOL
We need to throw in a Frankenstein.
10:06 AM Mr. Silver
Woody Allen as Frank Stein
10:06 AM Mr. Blue
Neurotic New York scientist, re-animating his dead relationships and regretting it.

No comments:

Post a Comment