Mr.
Blue
8:28
AM Mr. Blue
A
little adventure mixed with cryptozoology.
8:57
AM Mr. Silver
So
I skimmed a bit of "The Hunter" plot, and oddly enough, the
Mr. Belvedere skit came to mind
"Why
would we want to kill
the last remaining Tasmanian tigers?!"
"Well...there's
this girl. And I think she'd really be impressed if she knew I
found a cryptid."
"But,
why kill it? No!"
(creepy
psycho) "Excuse me, but I believe we always have a vote on this
sort of thing."
9:02
AM Mr. Blue
Hehehe
9:04
AM Mr. Silver
"Fine!
All in favor of killing off the last Tasmanian tigers, assuming we
can find any? All opposed? Fine. We don't kill
them, and frankly I'm surprised the vote was that close!"
"Aww...that's
alright. She was probably a lesbian anyway."
9:08
AM Mr. Blue
I’m
not sure if it's mentioned in the plot summary, but a company wanted
the DNA of the animal.
9:08
AM Mr. Silver
It
was. They were assuming it had paralytic venom.
9:09
AM Mr. Blue
Yeah,
which it probably didn't, but other marsupials do, so it's not that
big of a stretch.
And
there are animals today that we still aren't sure if they're venomous
or if they just have nasty bacteria in their mouths. So there's
no way to be 100% certain of Tasmanian tigers.
It’s
not one of those movies where someone is looking for something that
hasn't been verified in 50 years and basically can't throw a rock
without hitting one.
It
takes him a while... he hears one... sees a glimpse… etc.
9:19
AM Mr. Silver
Then
says "Clever girl" and gets swarmed?
9:22
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
9:22
AM Mr. Silver
(a
part that irritated me in Jurassic Park)
9:22
AM Mr. Blue
Why?
9:24
AM Mr. Silver
I
have a hard time believing someone of his supposed experience, and
having had unprecedented access to the raptors to watch how they
worked together, would be so dumb as to just wander off into any
situation like that.
"Here's
my plan...I'll walk into the bush where I have a 5-10' visibility
range to see if I can scare up intelligent coordinated pack hunters
who attack from all sides."
"You
lied on your resume, didn't you?"
"Eh?"
"You
basically walked into the interview with a gun, Jungle Jim clothes
and an Australian accent and got this job...Are you even Australian?"
"Well...no.
But I watched Crocodile Dundee like 30 times."
9:38
AM Mr. Silver
Oh...and
saying "clever girl" causes a lot less damage and doesn't
make the same sort of scary bang that might frighten off
veloceraptors as, say, a shotgun blast to the leader's eye might.
9:39
AM Mr. Blue
Even
just pulling the trigger at the one he was already aiming at.
Thus
making it 2-on-1 instead of 3.
9:39
AM Mr. Silver
Yup
Or
1-on-0: one dead, others running.
9:39
AM Mr. Blue
My
interpretation of that was he was kind of a chess player. He
was beaten and he accepted it.
9:40
AM Mr. Blue
"Clever
girl... good game, mate. I concede. Go ahead and eat me now."
9:42
AM Mr. Silver
(severely
injured in escape helicopter) "And so I says to meself, if I
keep blastin' at the smelly bastards, I might just 'ave a shot of
gettin' another can of the foamy amber before I cark it, right?
And coo, did they tear me up bonzers! But me ol' barker took
'em all dahn like a piss in the woods!"
There...that’s
a real
fake Aussie big game hunter.
9:44
AM Mr. Blue
So
a picture of the Tasmanian tiger that was distributed to show it
stealing farmers chickens (and probably led to its extinction) was
actually a stuffed specimen with a dead chicken placed in its mouth.
9:45
AM Mr. Silver
Heh
9:46
AM Mr. Blue
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Burrell "Thylacine"
at the bottom... what a jackass…
"Seen
here on Halloween dressed as the Gorton Fisherman."
9:48
AM Mr. Silver
"Also
famous as the inspiration for the Captain Morgan rum pirate pose."
9:53
AM Mr. Blue
Heh
9:54
AM Mr. Silver
"Zoologist
Carol Freeman made the conclusion that the animal was stuffed after
observing that the animal was standing on a mounting board with a
small plaque at the bottom reading 'Tasmanian Tiger'. To quote
from her expose, 'The coincidence that the beast was photographed
while standing on such a mounting board is not unprecedented, but
seems unlikely.’"
10:02
AM Mr. Blue
LOL
10:12
AM Mr. Yellow
OMG
I forgot. At the Italian joint down a couple doors: There was a
couple having sex in the back room. The back door was open and
we were outside smoking and I heard a woman moaning in pleasure.
10:20
AM Mr. Silver
(sings)
"When the pizza chef guy gives the waitress a ride that's
amore...”
“When
she she's starting to swoon playing in the back room, that's
amore..."
I
love those old Dean Martin classics.
10:20
AM Mr. Yellow
Yep
1:49
PM Mr. Silver
So...another
good use for Listerine: Reducing toxicity fears from suspect meat.
1:57
PM Mr. Blue
How?
Soaked
it?
2:03
PM Mr. Silver
I
had a bit of ring bologna this morning. I was a little leery of
it...I usually have a bit for breakfast, so it stretches out over
several days as it is, and then it had been sitting over the weekend,
maybe partway through last week too…I couldn’t remember.
I
hemmed and hawed over eating it and decided it was probably OK, so
popped it in and started chewing.
It
didn't feel or taste right. It might have been psychological
priming, I don’t know, but I decided I was done risking it and spit
it all out.
"Crap...if
it was crawling with bacteria, I'm probably scr- LISTERINE!"
2:06
PM Mr. Blue
Ahh
2:07
PM Mr. Silver
I
gargled and swished a nice big shot of the stuff and so far am not
showing signs of bazooka barfing or death.
2:08
PM Mr. Blue
Good
thinking.
Any
hard liquor would probably do the trick, too.
2:09
PM Mr. Silver
Like
I'd spit that out...
2:09
PM Mr. Blue
Heh.
2:09
PM Mr. Silver
"Morning,
Mr. Silver. How ar... …are you drunk?"
"It
was life or death, Mike."
Mr. Blue
I
started watching 'Easy Rider'.
But
it seemed like a long music video, so I decided to finish later.
2:26
PM Mr. Silver
I
never saw either.
2:30
PM Mr. Silver
I
got about five minutes into Easy Rider and said "God. What
a bunch of 60's a-holes" and switched to something else.
I
would probably riff it as harshly as some of the MST3K stuff, based
on the part I watched.
(decides
to read about 'Easy Rider')
2:38
PM Mr. Blue
It
wasn't bad, it's just that nothing was happening.
2:39
PM Mr. Silver
(dubs
over Seinfeld twang music)
2:42
PM Mr. Silver
Results
so far:
#1
- Toni Basil used to be very hot
#2
- Do not intensively Google image-search Toni Basil here.
2:42
PM Mr. Blue
When
she did “Mickey” she was already pretty old.
2:47
PM Mr. Silver
Yep...I'd
riff the Hell out of “Easy Rider”.
It’s
a classic of the "Stupid people being stupid" genre.
2:51
PM Mr. Silver
I
was told a couple times I “would have been good in the 60s”.
Eh.
Not
if people were generally like this.
2:53
PM Mr. Silver
Oddly
enough, “Dazed and Confused”, I relate to. It was also
"Stupid people being stupid", but it didn't involve anyone
being stupid enough to stay in the South like these dopes.
"Hey!
Freedom guys! Every place you go down here, you get hassled,
threatened, or assaulted! Go north one or two states, you
morons!"
I
know Bakshi liked being gritty and urban, but "Fritz the Cat"
was consistently unpleasant too.
Even
the “intellectual” characters.
"Geez...pick
and choose the losers you hang out with better." (and I was
advising the coeds, not Fritz.)
Maybe
that was part of the reason behind the whole Hippie thing:
In
the 60s, nothing looked clean, the Squares were too square, and
everyone else was stupid scum.
So
drop out, become a Hippie, and live out the rest of the decade in a
drug haze so you wouldn’t have to notice.
(I
clearly had no past life in the 60s)
3:29
PM Mr. Silver
Hmmm...think
I should put that on the blog? Not good enough?
Wait...
Most
of the stuff I post isn't.
3:29
PM Mr. Blue
heh
Mr.
Blue
GARAPATHIVENKATAPOORNA.
His
actual last name.
The
name couldn't even fit in our software.
"We
have a long, rich history of inconveniencing other people."
8:36
AM Mr. Silver
You
can't even Google it.
"So
what is the VPN giving as an error, Misterrrrr... G?"
8:37
AM Mr. Brown
Mr.
G-Porn
8:37
AM Mr. Silver
"In
my home alphabet it's represented by 2 characters: A line and 2
squiggle things."
9:11
AM Mr. Silver
G-Porn
is his rap name
"Yo!
I'm Garapathivenkatapoorna! I’m here ta warn ya!
All my rhymes are apathetic vents on kitty cats and porn-a!"
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