Thursday, April 3, 2014

Day 286 - A Little Ice Age Builds Character, That Man Could Use A Drink, The Mice Put A Bell On Mr. Brown, "Drunk Celeb Non-Bigotry Exposed!", Secret Dirty Messages From Beyond The Grave, The Show Biz Scandal Machine, and You Can Always Tell When God Is Doing Updates

8:48 AM Mr. Brown
Figured as much…
8:53 AM Mr. Silver
"Earth Doomed By Low Sun Activity...And When We Say Earth, We Mean Life On Earth...And When We Say Life On Earth We Mean Humanity...And When We Say Humanity, We Mean 'Stock Some Food And Put On Some Long Underwear For A Couple Years You Big Babies'!"
8:53 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
I like how it says due to human activity this may not actually get that bad.



Mr. Blue
The guy that owns AA is kind of a sketchy dude.
9:43 AM Mr. Silver
Owns a distillery?
9:43 AM Mr. Blue
Sexual harassment lawsuits.
9:44 AM Mr. Silver
He should take up drinking.
9:44 AM Mr. Blue
Ah, I see where you're going with that



8:03 AM Mr. Brown
Any mouse catching tips?
They are avoiding my cat so he has not gotten any, and they are avoiding the traps currently.
8:06 AM Mr. Silver
Peanut butter is the best bait I know.
8:08 AM Mr. Brown
I have two with cheese and two with peanut butter.
8:08 AM Mr. Silver
Dress the cat to look like a mouse...the mice will be lulled into a false sense of security.
8:08 AM Mr. Brown
He appears to be doing his job, they are just smart mice.
8:08 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
8:09 AM Mr. Silver
N.I.M.H. mice, eh?
8:08 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
He sat in the kitchen for hours one night.
8:08 AM Mr. Amethyst
This is your expensive cat?
It sounds like you need a backup cat.
8:09 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, a pusher and a catcher.
LOL
8:09 AM Mr. Amethyst
I have one, free to good home. He's got minor defects, but is healthy and hunter-ish.
Has some cosmetic damage from previous owner and terrible balance as a result.
He also loves belly rubs.
8:10 AM Mr. Silver
Minor defects.
8:10 AM Mr. Brown
I still think I’m going to sit in the dinning room and hunt them myself.
LOL
I will dress as a big mouse and sit there with a hammer.
8:11 AM Mr. Amethyst
Also LOL @ the opossum.
8:12 AM Mr. Silver
Every time someone writes “dinning room”...and it's a lot...I picture myself in a room with all sorts of noisy clocks and such all going off at once, and me with my fingers in my ears.
8:19 AM Mr. Brown
OK, so I’m going to buy a blow gun and camp out in the kitchen in the dark, set out some peanut butter on the floor, and wait.
8:20 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL I've done that!
8:21 AM Mr. Brown
Or a high powered rubber band gun.
Knock them out or stun them for the cat.
I can see me sitting in the chair in the dark with the cat sitting next to me. Mouse wanders out. Thwak! Sic 'em!
8:24 AM Mr. Brown
Or I can make my own Mouse Trap game in the middle of the kitchen. The reset will suck like always.
I’m still liking the idea of an owl in the kitchen though.
8:28 AM Mr. Brown
An owl sitting on a perch in the kitchen.
Another good mouse catcher is a snake, but then you have a snake problem.
8:29 AM Mr. Amethyst
I don’t have snake problems, I have snake pets.
8:43 AM Mr. Brown
I could build a bucket trap.
A piece of string from one side to the other with a can in the middle.
Put bait on the can. The mouse wanders out to get the bait, falls in bucket with water in it, and dies.
8:45 AM Mr. Silver
Here's a variant: The basic design is the same, but you'll need lighter fluid, a flammable hoop, and a tiny unicycle for the string.
8:45 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL



Mr. Blue
"Tom Sizemore captured on video smoking drugs and making racist remarks"
11:45 AM Mr. Amethyst
Who?
11:45 AM Mr. Blue
Just some actor... He was in Saving Private Ryan.
11:45 AM Mr. Amethyst
Oh
11:46 AM Mr. Brown
He was also in Super Capers.
11:46 AM Mr. Blue
I’d like to hear someone fall off the wagon and make tolerant remarks.
"Mel Gibson caught on camera drunk, goes on tolerant rant."
You never see that.
11:47 AM Mr. Amethyst
I'll do it for you.
You can film it.
11:47 AM Mr. Blue
Okay, sounds good.
11:47 AM Mr. Blue
"Those blacks, man!  They're just...really great!  Awesome at sports, and have great rhythm too!"
11:48 AM Mr. Amethyst
"And MAN! Can those Jews ever work hard and excel."
11:48 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
11:51 AM Mr. Blue
"I love the Middle Easterners.  So gung ho about Muhammad. Its really inspiring."
11:52 AM Mr. Blue
"Mel Gibson issues apology, vows he's not actually tolerant. Will check into rehab."
11:53 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL Right!
"Hey! I'm not a non bigot!"
11:55 AM Mr. Silver
"Mel Gibson Rails Against Intolerance Of Mel Gibson...Sobriety Suspected"
11:56 AM Mr. Blue
Friends, family come to Gibson's aid: "He's really not that good of a guy."



Mr. Brown
I should do something like that when I get old
10:07 AM Mr. Silver
Scribble cryptic messages?
10:07 AM Mr. Brown
Yep.
10:15 AM Mr. Silver
The whole "Rich eccentric's treasure hunt" thing doesn't seem to be panning out for me.  I'm thinking of just making long stacks of LEGOs.
Each size and color would be assigned to a swear word or something.
10:24 AM Mr. Silver
"Wow...big string of standard red bricks here...he must have had a really bad day."
10:25 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
That would be awesome!
10:29 AM Mr. Silver
I'll put it in my will that there should be a performance of my “poems” at my memorial.  Formal dress for the audience, and a gentleman in tails who has learned the code would just recite the stacks, block to block.



8:47 AM Mr. Blue
It seems like hitting the skids and getting arrested is part of the script for these teen pop stars.
8:47 AM Mr. Silver
Who is the latest poster child for that?
8:49 AM Mr. Blue
Justin Bieber
Arrested for DUI. This one seems real, unlike the codeine thing.
8:50 AM Mr. Brown
Well yeah.
They always DUI. I think if they get caught, they think: “I'll just say who I am and get off."  And then, of course, they don't.
8:51 AM Mr. Blue
(execs meeting at Disney)
"You guys, the Justin Bieber brand is getting stale. What say we go DEFCON3?"
"Don't you think it's a little soon for DEFCON3? Britney was 25."
“No...it's time.”
*two execs walk over to a panel with buttons and flashing lights, simultaneously put keys into keyholes and turn. Red buttons pop up. They push them. Justin Bieber, sitting at home minding his own business, suddenly becomes rigid*
"MUST... COMMIT... FELONY..."
8:58 AM Mr. Silver
"Ah!"
"What!?"
"Oh crap!  Oh crap!"
"WHAT?!?"
"I just hit the 'exit limo exposing naked crotch' button!"
"Good LORD!"
8:59 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
8:59 AM Mr. Brown
“AAAAA CRAP! HE BUMPED THE 'TOTAL SLUT' BUTTON TOO!”
9:00 AM Mr. Silver
"Bieber is...um.  I mean it works, but he'll need a kilt."
9:00 AM Mr. Blue
In Lohan's case, the button got stuck down.
9:00 AM Mr. Silver
"How about a Speedo incident?"
"How would we get him in a Speedo in a LIMO?"
9:12 AM Mr. Silver
I wonder how much of this stuff happened in the good old golden age of showbiz that was covered up.
9:12 AM Mr. Blue
Dunno
Marilyn Monroe had drug issues, affairs, abortions...
9:13 AM Mr. Brown
All of it.
LOL



1:24 PM Mr. Silver
God is running updates.
We've been shifted over to the small 'temporary data' set again.
Client is located on Armbrust Ave...Previous was a Mr. Armbrust...before that a Mr. Sharp...earlier...Mrs Sharpless.
1:31 PM Mr. Blue
And I just got an ARMBRUST SERVICES. Just as I was reading your message, that contact popped up.
1:33 PM Mr. Silver
Hehehe
1:33 PM Mr. Blue
God is really...lazy.
1:33 PM Mr. Silver
Yup
God "They'll never notice."
1:34 PM Mr. Blue
God "I'll shelve world peace and mess with Mr. Silver and Mr. Blue a bit."
1:34 PM Mr. Silver
Sorry, God, but the modern information age is exposing your shortcuts and fudging.
1:36 PM Mr. Blue
God to angels "Alright boys, fun time's over! Back to answering the prayers of celebrities and top athletes."
1:40 PM Mr. Brown
"Bitches, I’ll knock you mortals back to 8-bit if you don't quit noticing the holding patterns!"
at

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