Day 252 - Microsoft Fishes For A Confession, "And Why Do They Never Say How Much Ham Is In Hamburgers?", "Mama Always Said: Stupid Is As Stupid As I Is", Bouncy Bouncy-Bouncy, The Museum Of Immature Natural History, We Speculate On Lindsay Lohan's Future, and Some People Just Lose It At Birth

9:27 AM Mr. Amethyst

I like that Windows does its checks, but every few minutes is kind of annoying.

"This copy of Windows may not be genuine!"  I know you told me 14 times since 9 am.

That keeps bugging me.

9:32 AM Mr. Silver

I think they should just cut to the chase and just pipe a recording of Brother Theodore's "Gollum" screaming "Thief!  We HATES it!  HATES it!  FOREVER!"

9:33 AM Mr. Amethyst

lol

Mr. Amethyst

(commenting on total idiot co-worker)

11:10 AM Mr. Blue

Heheh

11:10 AM Mr. Silver

She's in the break room right now, trying to figure out...again...how to open the ketchup to put some on her hotdog.

11:11 AM Mr. Silver

"And these are always so cold too.  When I buy one at a restaurant, they're always hot, but the grocery store just sells these cold ones."

11:12 AM Mr. Blue

What's that from?

11:13 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL! Right, Mr. Silver.

11:13 AM Mr. Silver

I'm just making up lines for Olivia.

11:14 AM Mr. Blue

Ahh

8:04 AM Mr. Silver

Doesn't matter how you describe things to some people...

8:04 AM Mr. Green

Yep, can't fix stupid...

8:05 AM Mr. Silver

Thousands of IT calls in practice, crafting instructions that can't be mistaken...rep still does the wrong thing.

Oh well...

I should throw in "and don't stab your dog" every so often to see how many will do it.

8:07 AM Mr. Green

LOL

8:12 AM Mr. Green

That's not fair to dogs. because someone probably will.

8:13 AM Mr. Silver

To be fair, I was originally typing "your kid".

8:14 AM Mr. Green

Oh. That's fine then...stupid breeds stupid. I have no issue with retro-active abortion.

8:14 AM Mr. Silver

I believe there's a certain environmental factor as well though.  Perhaps the instruction should be "don't stab yourself"?

8:17 AM Mr. Green

That works as well.

Stupid parents are an environmental factor as well as a genetic one.

8:18 AM Mr. Silver

Right! It's win-win!

8:18 AM Mr. Green

I'll take a win-win

11:12 AM Mr. Yellow

OK, here's a “WTF are they thinking?” story:

http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/denver-hotel-offers-pop-inflatable-room-19824676

11:20 AM Mr. Silver

"High-End Bouncy Castle Lures Suckers In Denver Colorado."

11:37 AM Mr. Gray

“The inflatable room holds 450 pounds. No alcohol is allowed inside, in hopes of discouraging people from using it as a bouncy castle.”

Like alcohol is going to be the big factor when you put someone in an inflatable room...

11:55 AM Mr. Silver

Like, compared to the "why is there baby oil all over everything?" factor?

12:09 PM Mr. Gray

Hehe! Exactly!

12:11 PM Mr. Silver

"We'd clearly instructed you to wear slippers at all times and bring in no guests with long fingernails, sir."

12:18 PM Mr. Silver

(on door) "No “bouncy-bouncy” in the Bouncy-Bouncy Room, please." 

Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrannosaurus#Sexual_dimorphism 

LOL! Look at the picture on the right: it looks like some rowdy teens put them in that position.

9:05 AM Mr. Silver

"Well they weren't set up like this when we closed last night!"

9:05 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

9:06 AM Mr. Blue

(chief paleontologist) "Hey guys, wouldn't it be funny if we made it look like they were screwing?!" 

(team) "OMG! Yeah! Do it! I dare you!"

(chief) "Hahaha! This is gonna be cool as Hell!"

9:10 AM Mr. Amethyst

NICE! Someone is either getting fired, or a huge raise.

9:11 AM Mr. Blue

The only natural history museum in the world run by teenage boys.

9:12 AM Mr. Amethyst

Right on!

9:14 AM Mr. Silver

"Why are all the women naked and posing in these life-sized dioramas?  Daily life at the hearth...the creation of art...the discovery of fire...even the hunting scene from the ice ages. She'd freeze like that."

“She has a fur hat on.”

“On that note, they probably wouldn't have started shaving or wearing makeup for thousands of years, and women's high heels didn't come into fashion til the 16^th century.”

9:14 AM Mr. Blue

"Are those homo erectus smoking a bong?"

9:14 AM Mr. Amethyst

I'd hope. I'd have to be high to live back then.

9:17 AM Mr. Blue

"All these cave paintings appear to be crudely drawn penises."

9:30 AM Mr. Blue

Spielberg could've had Jim Henson do the velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

9:31 AM Mr. Amethyst

"It's time to put on makeup, its time to light the lights, its time to get things started in Jurassic Park tonight!"

9:31 AM Mr. Brown

“Wa-wa wa-wa wa-wa wa...

"Wa-wa wa-wa wa-wa RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHAHAAHHAH!!!!”

9:32 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

10:08 AM Mr. Silver

Lohan is out of rehab: the countdown to the massive public embarrassment begins.

10:08 AM Mr. Amethyst

Awe yeah!

10:08 AM Mr. Silver

We should have set up a pool or something.

10:20 AM Mr. Silver

So...perhaps we should do some predictions?

10:22 AM Mr. Blue

Who should we do first, Bynes or Lohan?

10:23 AM Mr. Silver

Oh, Lohan certainly...we can do Bynes, but Lohan is just out.

"Lohan Picked Up Naked and Confused at Local Supermarket"

10:23 AM Mr. Gray

Bynes is already on lock-down and her parents are stepping in.....so definitely Lohan.

10:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

“Lohan Found Eating Homeless Florida Man's Face - Shot By Cops”.

"We thought she was a zombie”, says officer.

10:38 AM Mr. Brown

Lohan had no parental guidance at all, so yeah, unless she fixes herself she is done.

10:39 AM Mr. Silver

"Lone Lohan Pulled Over With Martini In Hand - 'Holding For Friend'."

10:39 AM Mr. Blue

I think Bynes is worse off. Lohan is at least working.

10:39 AM Mr. Amethyst

Mhmm

10:39 AM Mr. Blue

Bynes is off her rocker...wearing wigs and getting surgeries...claiming people are reading her mind.

10:39 AM Mr. Silver

Different brands of crazy.

10:41 AM Mr. Brown

Lohan is just a druggy.

Bynes, they are still figuring out whether its all drug-induced or mental.

10:41 AM Mr. Amethyst

She's just nuts.

11:09 AM Mr. Silver

"Lohan Wins Oscar For 'The Canyons'."

11:09 AM Mr. Amethyst

Oh dear.

11:10 AM Mr. Brown

"Lohan Wins The Tall Poppy Award"

11:10 AM Mr. Blue

Isn't “The Canyons” the one that has the porn star guy in it? James Dean, or whatever?

11:10 AM Mr. Silver

"Lohan Solos, Completes, 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall Challenge"

11:10 AM Mr. Amethyst

HAHAHAH

11:10 AM Mr. Silver

@Mr. Blue – Yeah.

11:11 AM Mr. Brown

Basically, the only career she has now is being naked.

11:11 AM Mr. Amethyst

If she cleans up, I'll take it.

11:11 AM Mr. Silver

Hurry...she's just out.

11:11 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

Mr. Blue

If I get Alzheimer's, I’m just going to kill myself.

The only thing you can do is try to be healthy and active in order to delay it.

12:31 PM Mr. Silver

Sadly, we're all good candidates. Perhaps the dim bulbs of the world just don't notice the difference.

12:32 PM Mr. Silver

(5 yo) "Your friend Joe is here."  "Huh?" 

(15 yo) "Your friend Joe is here."  "Huh?" 

(45 yo) "Your friend Joe is here."  "Huh?" 

(65 yo) "Your friend Joe is here."  "Huh?" 

(85 yo) "Your friend Joe is here."  "Cool! Can we play Matchbox cars outside?" 

12:33 PM Mr. Brown

Drink beer! It helps.

12:33 PM Mr. Silver

I'll drink beer even if it doesn't.