Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Day 227 - "It's A Parent Trap!", Mating Strategies Of Doom, Our Next Big War Strategy, Not-Very-Good Dreams, Not-Very-Nice Nightmares, The Night Of 100 Ghosts With Rectal Problems, "Honey Mead", In Admiration Of Brown Junior's Remarkable Feat, and "Enemy Of The Logic" Starring Will Smith

Mr. Gray
Morning
So...8 year olds.....no sense of time, apparently.
Hurry up you are going to be late for school”, apparently means take your time.
9:06 AM Mr. Yellow
Ahh. Yes.
9:06 AM Mr. Gray
LOL
I’m learning the hard way.
9:06 AM Mr. Silver
Heh
9:07 AM Mr. Gray
She was up at 6:30...yet still wasn’t ready for school.
She did take the dog out and feed her at least...and did it on her own without being asked.
9:08 AM Mr. Silver
(Psst...He’s concerned about getting a kid ready for school now...snicker.)
9:08 AM Mr. Yellow
(I know.  Phase 4 complete.)
9:10 AM Mr. Gray
Hey you...hush! LOL
9:10 AM Mr. Yellow
(I think he heard us.)
9:11 AM Mr. Gray
Yeah well...nothing like reading the valentine the kid gets you (really sweet one too) and seeing she wrote in it "I love you and miss you when I'm not at your house. I really hope you marry mommy"
<facepalm>
9:14 AM Mr. Silver
The succubus!
"Here sweetie...write this on his valentine."
"Ok"
9:15 AM Mr. Gray
EVIL!!!
9:26 AM Mr. Silver
(Admiral Akbar singing) "Julie has Gray...sittin' in a tree...T R A P P E D..."



10:45 AM Mr. Green
11:09 AM Mr. Silver
Eeee
11:17 AM Mr. Silver
"Females will mate with the male with biggest and shiniest balloon."
That's good advice for any single man.
12:07 PM Mr. Blue
On a typical mating flight, she will have sex with an average of 12 drones. Each drone will take turns mounting the queen and can mate around 7-10 times. When he's finished, he's literally finished. His barbed penis and abdominal tissues get torn off and he dies soon after.
12:10 PM Mr. Silver
Sounds like a film directed by Rob Zombie.



Mr. Blue
I like how Obama tries to appoint Republicans to his cabinet... and Republicans take all available steps to block it.
I guess if you're a moderate in any way, you're not going to win over the GOP.
11:15 AM Mr. Silver
So I was thinking.
All this country needs is a new ideological war.
We have a War on Drugs...War on Terra...
Tearr
T
Terrr
Anyway...
11:18 AM Mr. Blue
War on Christmas
11:18 AM Mr. Brown
lol
11:18 AM Mr. Silver
If we could declare, say, a War On The Collapse Of The USA...
11:19 AM Mr. Silver
Well everyone could be rallied around that.
The right-wing nut-types would get a WAR!
And the left side would get...you know...people agreeing to pay to fix things without question.
Because it’s a WAR!
11:23 AM Mr. Brown
Like the world wars were real wars, but it brought us all together.
11:25 AM Mr. Silver
Hmm...nice...spread it out to a WORLD WAR!  (waves flag!)
It'd also serve a secret purpose though.
11:27 AM Mr. Silver
See, if the USA is having a war...that means the USA has enemies.
And if a US citizen joins or aids those enemies...with witnesses against him...that person can be charged with treason.
'cause it's a WAR!
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
Meaning any dumb-ass politician who, say, signs a paper agreeing to oppose anything and everything their President and Commander in Chief of the WAR tries to do...
They go to jail.
By the law, they could be executed...or have a drone dropped on them.
Jail would do though.
Sure you’d throw a pardon their way...but they’d end up fired from politics.
11:36 AM Mr. Silver
It’s a bit elaborate, but the only reason that kind of irresponsible political BS happens now is because there are no sedition laws here for fixing jerks like that.
11:46 AM Mr. Blue
It seems a bit extreme.
Besides, Republicans are doing a good enough job destroying their own party.
11:50 AM Mr. Silver
Hehe
11:52 AM Mr. Silver
I was being smarmy.
However, apart from the whole treason thing, the WAR! idea looks like a valid strategy.
11:57 AM Mr. Silver
Nice big "Save the USA" budget, public fervor, petty partisan-just-because BS making people look like the irresponsible unpatriotic morons they truly are.  It’s a win.



Mr. Brown
My dream was like a normal day, with subtle differences that I could recognize.
Like north and south were in different places than reality.
9:02 AM Mr. Silver
Anything else?
9:02 AM Mr. Brown
I’m trying to remember while talking to an idiot.
lol
9:03 AM Mr. Silver
You insult me, sirrah!?
9:05 AM Mr. Blue
Pretty harsh, Mr. Brown
9:05 AM Mr. Silver
(Removes glove, slaps Brown's face)
9:06 AM Mr. Brown
If you take it that way.
Remember, my grammar sucks.
9:07 AM Mr. Blue
Was that an officially sanctioned dueling glove?!
Mr. Brown
On another dream subject, though I don't know why I have this dream, but it reoccurs a lot.
My cat will be walking around.
9:10 AM Mr. Blue
That is a crazy dream.
Wow!
9:10 AM Mr. Brown
Next thing I know, it walks through again then again then again.
9:12 AM Mr. Silver
(cat) "OK, he's half asleep...time to start running around.  Soon he will be in my power."
9:12 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
9:14 AM Mr. Gray
The only dreams I have that are reoccurring are Zombie dreams.  Me and my friends fighting to survive...and they end with me surrounded by zombies (including my friends) for a last stand.
9:18 AM Mr. Silver
Last stand?  So I’m not there then...Hehe
"Where's Mr. Silver?"
"Over there with the surviving group."
"Oh"
9:23 AM Mr. Gray
I can say Mr. Silver, that I have never seen you among the Zombies
So kudos to you! LOL
9:24 AM Mr. Brown
That’s because you haven’t ever made it to where they are coming from.
He is the root cause of the zombies
LOL
Necromancer!
9:26 AM Mr. Gray
You know.....that does make sense *glares at Mr. Silver*
Bastard



Mr. Gray
See if you can do a search for "Night Parade, Forgotten Realms"
They were Netherese wizards who, instead of fleeing to the Plane of Shadows like the shades, fled to the Demi-plane of Nightmares, which borders the Dream Demi-plane, and the Far Realm
9:07 AM Mr. Silver
(reads)
What a terrible choice of refuge.
Hehe
9:09 AM Mr. Gray
LOL I know. Exactly what I thought.
9:09 AM Mr. Silver
"We're going where?"
"Demiplane of Nightmares."
"Why?"
"There was a vote..."
"And this was what everyone agreed on?"
9:09 AM Mr. Gray
"What was wrong with these morons?! Plane of Shadow?  Plane of Nightmares?  Nobody thought of going to the Plane of Nekkid Women and Ale?!"
9:09 AM Mr. Silver
Exactly!
I read these things and see a kid Dungeon Master saying "Know what would be totally cool?"
Hehe
9:16 AM Mr. Gray
LMAO
True.
9:18 AM Mr. Silver
In a fantasy realm of magic savvy people with genius level Intelligence and Wisdom, no one would be doing this stuff.
If nothing else, these guys would drag back to the council chambers the next morning with "My wife says 'no'."
9:28 AM Mr. Gray
LMAO
9:29 AM Mr. Silver
"I guess it's the Hot Chicks Demi-plane then."
"Yeaaaaahhhh....bad news there too."
"Vomit?"
"No...she nixed the whole list."
(General cowed agreement)
9:32 AM Mr. Gray
LOL
9:36 AM Mr. Silver
"Well?  What planes did we have on the secondary list?  Uhh...Better Homes and Gardens..."
"Booooring..."
"Um...The Plane of Bliss..."
"No challenge."
"Martha Stewart Plane?  Where's that?"
"Fractional plane off of Demi-New England."
"Bleh"
"The Rainbow Lands?"
"That's why we swung to Nightmare."
"Right right...Evaskard still mad from that expedition?"
"Yes."
9:46 AM Mr. Gray
*LMAO at the Rainbow Lands comment*
"They are still singing that damned ‘Sunshine Happy Happy’ song too, since they came back.  They tried Cure Insanity three times and still nothing"
9:48 AM Mr. Silver
"A 'Wish' just changed them briefly to a song about wishing."
9:49 AM Mr. Gray
"They seem extremely.....Cheerful.  It’s...disturbing the other wizards"



Mr. Amethyst
I remember talking about Japanese ghosts a while ago...here is one I don’t remember.
2:02 PM Mr. Silver
I recall that one.
2:11 PM Mr. Brown
Wow!  That makes no sense.
LOL
2:14 PM Mr. Silver
Well...it kind of does...in a literary-necessity way.
2:15 PM Mr. Amethyst
Some ancient folk tales tell of beautiful female ghosts who seduce men and suck their "Yang" essence. 
2:17 PM Mr. Amethyst
Listen, if a beautiful woman, alive or dead, wants to suck my yang, who am I to deny her?
2:18 PM Mr. Silver
Seems the Japanese nobility decided to come up with a type of party called something like "The Night of 100 Ghost Stories" 
In "Adventures in Babysitting" there's a blues club where the rule is "No one gets outta here without singin' the blues."
Well...at this party, no one gets to go home without telling a new ghost story, and the group has to meet the quota.
End result...OODLES of weird Japanese ghosts and stories.
2:21 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL! That would be cool.
2:24 PM Mr. Brown
Ok so I was walking one night, and boo!  A ghost!  Can I leave?
2:24 PM Mr. Blue
lol
2:26 PM Mr. Silver
"So a man was walking at night and a GHOST jumped out."
"And?"
"And he...uh...it..."
"Yes?"
"It had an EYE...for its butthole!"
"OOOOoooooo!!!"
2:29 PM Mr. Silver
"Only 99 to go."
"My turn.  Once there was a jilted lover..."
"Oh good...I love the jilted lover ones."
"99% of them are jilted lover ones."
"I'm jilting your lover later tonight."
"Get in line, Hiro."
2:32 PM Mr. Amethyst
OOOOO
3:20 PM Mr. Amethyst
The Cock Lane ghost received massive public attention in 18th-century England.
I bet he did
3:21 PM Mr. Brown
My sir, you have a nice cock.  Is that an English cock?
3:21 PM Mr. Amethyst
A bit of spotted dick?
3:29 PM Mr. Silver
"Cor!  It were as wide and long as a country lane, squire!"
3:30 PM Mr. Silver
"The event centered around three people: William Kent, a usurer from Norfolk..." 
Norfolk & Way! 
"What's a usurer?"
"A person that uses things, I think."
"Regular séances were held to determine "Scratching Fanny's" motives, and Cock Lane was often made impassable"
Woah!  That ghost just needed penicillin.



Mr. Silver
I might take up brewing again at some point.
12:33 PM Mr. Gray
MEAD!!!
12:34 PM Mr. Amethyst
That, I’ll brew.
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
Between beer and mead, give me beer.
12:34 PM Mr. Amethyst
I’m going to have to let you try my mead, sounds like.
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
No, it’s just I’m not much of a honey person.
Mead is ok, but I like hops and fizz.
12:35 PM Mr. Amethyst
That’s my next batch. I’m getting that this next week.
12:35 PM Mr. Silver
"Mr. Amethyst’s Hops & Fizz"
12:36 PM Mr. Amethyst
Awe yeah!
Free cat with every case
Hops, fizz, and fuzz
12:39 PM Mr. Gray
I LOVE honey mead!
12:41 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe!
I always giggle at that: "Honey mead".
That’s not unlike saying "Pig porkchops".



Mr. Brown
Brown Junior is 2 and has 8 1/2 inch feet.
2:40 PM Mr. Amethyst
So he’s a freak?
2:40 PM Mr. Brown
I have a feeling either he will be a hobbit or a giant.
2:42 PM Mr. Gray
...or a clown.
2:42 PM Mr. Silver
(ominous documentary voiceover) "By age 10, Brown's feet had passed the 3' mark."
2:43 PM Mr. Brown
lol
2:44 PM Mr. Silver
"This astonishing video shows him just one year later, floating on his own feet in the lake and paddling around with a kayak oar."
2:44 PM Mr. Amethyst
AHAHAHAHA



Mr. Blue
Customer directed me to a "news discussion" forum
Check some of this out:
Well, I believe it might be the mark. Obama's name has 18 letters 6+6+6. America is also like Babylon in the Bible because of gay marriage and stuff. But God will lead the way.
If you are truly a follower of good you would not get this chip it stands for 666 the mark of the beast read the bible and research this topic i would rather die than get a chip on me oh yes and the chip is for mind control too.
3:24 PM Mr. Brown
Is this a Lays chip, or cheddar chip, or maybe BBQ?
3:24 PM Mr. Blue
Governmental transgressions and coveting, hurricanes out of characters, global warming, people hearts waxed cold, un-natural sex, judging based on looks, greed, back-stabbing, coveting, WWWIII, cyber war, un-natural importing of unknown food sources, paying farmers not to farm, wanna be idols, and etc are all predictions from the Bible. Are you baptisted in his blood truely? Check the scriptures and be sure of your inheritance in Christ. 
3:24 PM Mr. Brown
We would have too much fun in those forums
LOL
3:25 PM Mr. Blue
This must be the mandatory RFID chip that Mike is convinced is coming.
3:25 PM Mr. Brown
I would not put it past a government to do it.
But there is really no way to get everybody to get one, so its a bad plan.
LOL
If you put all your chips on the table on that one, you will lose them.
3:29 PM Mr. Brown
If they tell me i have to get a chip, I will tell them I want Cool Ranch.
3:35 PM Mr. Silver
Not really even sure what the point would be...
Fine...chip felons or something.
"But if everyone had one!"
"Yes, but if only society's jagoffs had them, none of them would counterfeit them or use them for crimes."
"Ohhhh..."
3:36 PM Mr. Blue
Mind control.. duh
3:36 PM Mr. Silver
Sure. We're so good at mind control now.
3:37 PM Mr. Blue
First he takes our guns, then he takes our Bibles, then he implants us with microchips that control our minds!
It's all in the Bible!
We are a lost cause as a society, and I’ve given up hope.. and I’m just looking for the humor in it.
3:38 PM Mr. Silver
We just have to reduce a hypnotist, psychotherapist, and a drug boutique down to an implantable chip...then crank the success rate up from 0% to 99%...a perfect plan!
Spook #1 - "Where's the target?"
Spook #2 - "I dunno...the wireless was working great until he walked past a fridge with a strong EMF leak."
Yawn.
A group I hung with for a while thought all the stuff in "Enemy Of The State" was real.
Me "I see...and so you think a satellite in stationary orbit can track a person through 30 floors of skyscraper..."
"Well..."
"And they can figure out where our car is, despite the fact that wireless range is crap and our best space-based optics (at the time) can't read a license plate so much as, oh, guess what kind of car that is down there.  If there's no clouds, they are at the right angle, and they manage to get the shot at all."
"Well..."
"And EVERY phone call since the 70s is recorded.  So where is all this audio being stored, and in what possible medium?  What use could be made of 99.9999% worthless noise?" 
"Well, a computer could pick out..."
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
"A computer?  You mean the computers that can barely figure out spoken audio and change it into text even after deliberate tuning of the program by the user?  The IRS is still using punch cards for some stuff (1998), you know, and that's MONEY, which takes precedence over all this crap."
3:44 PM Mr. Blue
I think that's arrogance.
People think they're important enough to be bugged/watched/followed.
That's arrogant.. you aren't important and nobody cares about your worthless day to day activities.
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
"Well..."
"Hey...here's one for you guys...who the heck is monitoring and reviewing all this sh-t?  And who is monitoring/and reviewing them?  Does the government actually have a spare, oh, million people on a black budget, sitting in the dark doing all this?"
"Ok...I give up...it's not real."
Yes...it all stems from natural paranoia that anyone cares.
The government wants money...and to spend money...and for no one to bother them too much about it...and for no one to break stuff and cause trouble.  Done.

No comments:

Post a Comment