[9:29
AM]
Please
join me in congratulating Jake Barger and Nate Booher on their recent
promotions.
Too
close together...sorry Nate...I read “Nate Booger”
[9:31
AM] Mr. Blue:
heh
The
earliest origins of the name Booger are with the Viking
settlers of the early Middle Ages; the surname having come
from a place named by the Vikings It is a name for someone who
lived in a place noted for the presence of a ridge that formed a
boundary between two distinct areas.
Wonder
if there are any Doctor Boogers
[9:38
AM]
Sounds
like a funk band leader to me
[9:38
AM] Mr. Blue:
Doctor
Booger, ENT
[9:40
AM]
Dr.
Booger, Otolaryngology
Beat
me to it
[9:57
AM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[9:58
AM] Mr. Brown.:
he
had that planned for him from childbirth
[9:59
AM] Mr. Blue:
[in
high school] "hey BOOGER!"
"stop
that.. my family were viking conquerors."
"hey,
say it don't spray it, snot boy!"
[9:59
AM] Mr. Brown.:
[8:11
AM]
(Angel
munching cereal, tapping through stories...) "Awww,
Mankind! Boss! They caught another
shortcut!"
https://www.popularmechanics.com/space/deep-space/a19433180/galaxy-rotation-billion-years/
[8:14
AM] Mr. Blue:
Creator
gettin' lazy
[8:17
AM]
[Later.
Theo-Engineering meeting room off of main control floor. Dozen
nerdy angels with stacks of print outs, manuals and plans.
Chief in front of a whiteboard, lot of stuff crossed off]
"What
if we got rid of the master clock and put a synchronized chrono on
each main timing gear?"
"Bobael...we
got rid of the gears back in the Age of Reason because the telescopes
were getting good enough to see them. Now you want them back?"
"I
say we don't rush into anything. They seem to just be curious
right now. Remember what happened with Cold Fusion."
(grumbling)
"A
whole energy source down the toilet. Give me the days when
magic was real and we could do anything."
Anyway
Best
thing I've seen so far today
It
wasn't enough that there were so many...from "nowhere/notime",
and that they all somehow redshift at the same rate AND somehow all
move away from each other like they are drawn on a balloon that is
inflating...Yet despite this somehow can still crash into each
other.
Nooooo...
NOW
we find out they all "spin at the same rate".
Which,
if you aren't thinking about it in the right way, sounds much more
simple than it actually is.
OK...so
they all take about a billion years to rotate...right?
Line
up a bunch of pinwheels...get them in sync...fine.
Measure
it by putting a dot on one point of the toy and watch.
And
the dots all make one rotation per billion years.
It's
simple, right?
Now
Do
it again and get 20 different sized pinwheels from the tiniest toy to
a power generating wind turbine.
Put
on the dot
rotate
once
[8:35
AM] Mr. Blue:
In
a vacuum
[8:35
AM]
Right
And
the tiny dot moves at an extremely slow speed, and the giant
dot moves at an incredibly high speed...all to make one rotation.
[8:35
AM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
[8:37
AM]
Just...wow.
Creator
gettin' lazy indeed.
"Just
make em all go around once per billion years...they'll never notice."
[8:39
AM] Mr. Blue:
exactly
[8:40
AM]
"But
Lord...the energy requirements...the logistics... Every single
one would have to have everything else different if..."
"Make
that stuff all the same. So mote it be."
(Angel
close to an aneurysm) "o.....k....."
I'm
tempted to do some math now...heh
...find
out how close to the speed of light outer rim stars would have to be
going to finish the journey on these.
[8:48
AM] Mr. Blue:
Imagine
a galaxy so big the outer rim *must* move faster than the speed of
light
Did
i just invent a paradox?
[8:59
AM]
Well
I used a thought experiment something like that to refute relativity
by pointing out the Twins Paradox was a load of dingoes' kidneys
But
yeah...that was the math I was thinking about. How big is the
biggest galaxy and how fast is my pinwheel dot moving to get around
in a billion years?
"As
fast as these guys" -
https://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/a19423058/2018-nurburgring-first-crash/
[8:25
AM] Mr. Blue:
[8:30
AM]
"Vanessa
Trump boils down family patriarch with one snap"
[10:51
AM] Mr. Brown.:
So
Putin taking all the votes
[10:51
AM]
Didn't
look
90%
or something?
[10:51
AM] Mr. Brown.:
76%
He
tried to make it look legit
lol
[10:52
AM]
Heh
(Putin)
"Here in Russia it's 'One Man - One Vote'! And I am that
man!"
[11:10
AM] Mr. Brown.:
get
ballot, only has on name on it
[11:15
AM]
Voting
booth with a punch probe and the two candidate names. Putin's
is a regular name and punch hole. The other fellow's is black
and red with a skull motif and a metal ring around the hole.
There's a coiled red wire stretching from the top of the punch to a
small box on the side wall of the booth labelled "Standard booth
high-voltage power pack. Vote for whoever you want" written on
it.
[11:21
AM] Mr. Brown.:
Voting
booth but it has a chair that you sit in with the punch paper over
top your legs
All
votes but Putin stab your leg
[11:46
AM]
nice!
[2:01
PM] Mr. Brown.:
If
i knew that i would have demanded it for my buddy
Get
me all the platypuses, now!
[2:09
PM]
Saw
it, didn't read it.
Miracle
antibiotic?
[2:10
PM] Mr. Brown.:
Well
a way to beat them with proteins
[2:10
PM]
(bacteria
sniffs at it...tastes...) "That tastes like PLATyp- *AGK!"
[2:12
PM] Mr. Brown.:
I
mean you would think there are a lot of animals out there that can
beat bacteria better than we can
[2:13
PM]
Tardigrades
probably borg them.
"That
DNA sequence looks lethal (absorbs)"
[9:31
AM]
God
how I despise Magic Disaster Attractant idiots.
[9:32
AM] Mr. Blue:
?
[9:32
AM]
Was
at Verizon behind some woman bitching about her phone "I have a
1 year old and what if something happened?"
[9:33
AM] Mr. Blue:
ah
yes
"Like the child exploded?"
[9:33
AM]
"Well,
ma'am. You're right. Statistics show that your phone will
cut off right before your child has an alien plague hit. It
will also disable your car, the power company, your neighbors and
your own arms and legs so you can't even carry him."
"And
that's statistics, ma'am."
"And
the proof is that the disaster will ONLY happen because the phone has
a problem."
A-holes...
Gonna
just start branding dips like that as "7S"
Referring
to the story "The Seven Sillies"
[9:47
AM] Mr. Blue:
heh
[9:48
AM]
I
assume I told that one in here before
[9:48
AM] Mr. Blue:
It
rings a bell - the title at least
[9:48
AM]
Its
a good one...heh
Can't
find it by that title but it's original language probably isn't
English
Soldier traveling home, gets to an inn.
Attractive
daughter and they hit it off.
Parents
are pleased.
Tell
her to go draw him a beer and she never comes back.
Innkeeper
sends Mrs and she never comes back.
Keeper
goes himself and he never comes back.
He
finds them all in the cellar crying.
Girl
went down dreaming of the soldier and fantasizing about marriage and
home.
Sees
an old axe stuck in a ceiling beam
She
worried that if they got together and ever had a son and they sent
him down to draw some beer and that axe happened to fall out and hit
him him and kill him...
How
awful that would be.
Mom
came and found her...heard the story and got upset too
Innkeeper
too.
"Jebus
(roughly)" says the soldier. He reaches up and pulls the
axe out. "Problem solved."
Everyone
is relived. They start talking about marriage again with him.
"Um...no.
You all are so silly i couldn't possibly marry into that."
"We
aren't THAT bad!"
"You
are."
"We
just got worked up is all. Our daughter is great.
Really."
"Tell
you what. I'm going to move on. I personally think you're
the silliest people on earth, but if I meet 7 people sillier than
you, I'll come back for your daughter."
Anyway.
Next
inn he shares a room, and is woken up while still dark to his
roommate running and jumping.
"WTF???"
"Sorry...takes
a long time to put on my pants...have to start early."
And
the soldier observes the guy's method is to take a running leap and
try to get them on in one go.
Shows
the guy how pants are put on by normal people.
This
is dismissed as ridiculous.
"Well...that's
one, anyway..."
The
soldier travels another day and sees a swineherd trying to drive his
pigs up trees.
"Um...what's
the problem here?"
"Well,
I want them to eat the acorns so they fatten up, but they're up in
the trees...So I'm trying to teach them to climb the trees to get
them. Been at it for weeks but they're just stupid."
"The
pigs are stupid, huh? Lemme see your crook a minute."
Takes
it...smacks at tree branches...nuts rain down.
"That's
how you do it."
"Pft...
Like that's a better idea. Go away, I'm on the verge of a
breakthrough I think."
"Well...that's
two."
Anyway,
nothing much happened for a couple weeks and he started to guess that
there wasn't enough silly people on earth to make the innkeeper's
daughter seem normal.
But
one night he got in late in the evening to a big town, and there was
some sort of disaster going on.
People
running with buckets and rakes and nets and ropes...
"Where's
the problem? How can i help!"
"The
pond! the pond! Come on!"
Gets
to the pond in the park in the center and there's 100...150 people
throwing lines and dredging with tools and throwing nets at the
water.
"Kid
fall in or something?"
"No!
The Moon! A fellow was walking past, looked, and it's there in
the water! We have to get it out!"
Soldier
paused...looked at the reflection in the pond...looked up at the full
moon...looked at a whole town of silly people.
"That
beats 7..." And turns to walk back to marry the
innkeeper's daughter.
The
end
[12:47
PM] Mr. Blue:
heheh
What
was the original language?
[12:47
PM]
Feels French...no idea though
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