397 - Not-For-Evergreens, "Mr. Silver's Bogus Fanbase", Mr. Brown Smells More, The War on Father's Day, A Nice Cool Dip, and A Polite Pause In Quebec

[‏1:11 PM] Mr. Blue:
There's a house near me where one of the previous owners planted tamarack as a border between it and the house next to it...always bugged me.
Why plant a conifer that loses its needles? Like a few out of hundreds that do so.  The border is only there 6 months out of the year

[‏1:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes, very few

[‏1:17 PM] Mr. Blue:
They probably didn't know. Imagine their disappointment the first Fall

 [‏1:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
"They're all DYING!"

(nursery guy on phone) "They're not dying, they're ill considered.  I remember your husband calling me an idiot, as a matter of fact.  Ah, sweet irony."

[‏1:30 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh

[‏2:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
So I got tricked into working on the blog again.
All those 10s and 10s of views!
"They LOVE us!  I posted and they came back to read in (the minimal qualifying definition of) droves!  I'll post again!  For the FAN or perhaps fans!"

So I did another one...
Not only didn't the traffic increase...it entirely stopped

[‏2:13 PM] Mr. Blue:
Where are they from?
The fans?

[‏2:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
USA 2/3... Russia 1/3...  roughly
There are the occasional hits from all over the world though.

[‏2:15 PM] Mr. Blue:

We're going to be to future generations like what Bill & Ted were to future generations in their universe
kids will be named "Tank Concrete" and "Thud Bonemeal"

[‏2:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
God I hope so
There is a set of popular starting entry points. 
The Russians chiefly seem to like starting on the one where we were riffing on "The Peoples'" old palaces that "The People" would never get to set foot in during Communism.

I think the anchorman line was Mr. Blue's and went something like: 
"So where do you live?"
"You know Peter the Great's Summer Palace?"
"Yes!  There?"
"In a 1 room concrete slab across the street."

[‏2:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh

Mr. Silver 9:02 AM

Well...looks like Mr. Brown wasn't captured by Civil War undead as predicted.
(pays Ms. Rose)

Mr. Brown 9:02 AM

That was a month ago!

Ms. Rose 9:03 AM

*cha-ching* 

Mr. Brown 9:03 AM

I was off for the nose drill

Mr. Silver 9:03 AM

A HAH! (holds out hand to Ms. Rose for half the money back)

Mr. Brown 9:04 AM

I had to stay away from stress so I did not get a bleeder.

Mr. Silver 9:04 AM

"My doctor said stay away from noses."

Mr. Blue 9:04 AM

I always gush blood when things get particularly hectic here

Ms. Rose 9:05 AM
*writes Silver a totally legit check for half the money, excluding interest accrued*

Mr. Blue 9:05 AM
"No smelling for at least 48 hours." 

Mr. Brown 9:05 AM
I could breath right after
And it did not hurt. Just a dull pain every so often.

Mr. Silver 9:05 AM
Considering Monday and Tuesday, Mr. Brown would have looked like the Johnny Depp death scene from “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.

Mr. Brown 9:06 AM
If I did a little too much I could feel lots of swelling in my face
I was supposed to be off today too, but I told them I could go back today so Doc wrote it up that way.

Mr. Silver 9:06 AM
So...uh...  After the surgery and recovery.  How do you smell, Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown 9:07 AM
Actually, I smell a lot more which is strange.
LOL

Mr. Silver 9:07 AM
I didn't think it was possible you could smell more.
(I love English)

Ms. Rose 9:08 AM
(rofl)

Mr. Silver 9:09 AM
So you smell more.  Do you smell better?

Mr. Brown 9:10 AM
I smell better and smell more.

Mr. Silver 9:20 AM
Ok, story.

When I was in high school my little sister was gifted with a bottle of vodka by a suitor when the parents were away for the weekend and she, a friend of hers, and I had a few (several) shots...

And I had a LOT of Doritos
And more vodka
And the end result was a lurching stomach and a unstable run to the bathroom.

I barely making it in time.
In my effort to hold it down, I launched a lot of the results out of my nose.
And I happily always end this story with the casual English description: "And I haven't smelled very good ever since."

Mr. Blue 9:22 AM
Like a nostril enema

Ms. Rose 9:23 AM
:-D

Mr. Brown 9:25 AM
Yeah, that would mess it up with the acid

Mr. Silver 11:09 AM
So...more evidence of Father discrimination.
That Mecca of manly-men, “Harbour Freight Tools” mailed us an ad.

Mr. Brown 11:10 AM
Yes yes
I got one too

Mr. Silver 11:10 AM

Blazoned across the top was the theme:
"Tool Disposal Notice"
and written in tiny font below it
"Father's Month Sale"
So sure...they gave Father's Day a "month"
But it took minor second billing to dumping off your old broken crap tools in their bin.

Mr. Brown 11:12 AM
I broke a socket yesterday. I could take it there.

Not the wrench the actual socket.

Mr. Silver 11:12 AM
Mrs. Silver got irritated with me pointing out our running gag

"Mother's Day Week! ... and father's day 1/2 hour..."

Mr. Brown 11:13 AM
Mrs Brown does not do that to me. We have a good Father's Day.

Mr. Silver 11:21 AM

So do we, but that's not the cultural point. They instituted these things and then dumped on Dad.

The Pittsburgh Zoo calendar of events – where the observation/joke started – is still my favorite example:
"May X – Come to our Mother's Day celebration!  A day of Fun! Food! Entertainment! Massages! Aroma therapy! Classes!"
(further down)
"June X – Father's Day"

Mr. Blue 11:25 AM
LOL

Mr. Silver 11:30 AM
So, like any other situation where you see the fnords, I spot this stuff every year.

Mr. Blue 11:35 AM

We must stop the War on Father's Day!

Mr. Silver 12:11 PM
On the line with Kuldip.  Pronounced Cool-deep.
"Dude...you are just awesome.  How can I help you?"

Mr. Brown 12:11 PM
“Cool whip? Cool sip?”
“Its COOL DEEP”

Mr. Silver 12:14 PM
"Cull dip.  Back in the 16th century the family business was to castrate halfwits."

Mr. Blue 12:39 PM
Heh

Mr. Blue 2:57 PM https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity

Mr. Silver 3:02 PM
George Carlin's Sept mots que vous ne pouvez pas dire à la télévision au Québec

Mr. Blue 3:05 PM
Heh
I searched this because I saw an interview with Guy Lafleur and he kept saying "esti" as kind of a break between pauses or thoughts

As if it was like "uhm" or "like"

Mr. Silver 3:08 PM

(reads)
So in Quebec, a tourettes swearing issue is basically unnoticed.
Looks like "osti" here is basically an audible comma
(Offended sailor to kid) "You talk like a Québécoise!  I should wash your mouth out!"