361a - You Don't Need To Know The Words If You Know The Lyrics, What Is The Chief Industry Of Pussy Mill PA?, Weird Baffling Vir-gina Parts, Pope Francis Stars In "The Contrite Heart", New & Improved Shammes Wow, and "We Deserve Your Raise!"

[1:57 PM] Ms. Rose:

It's such a bouncy, happy, upbeat song. But when you read the lyrics...
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/who/youbetteryoubet.html

(It was on in the car during lunch.)

[2:06 PM] Mr. Silver:

About what I expected from The Who

Been forgetting to look up "Killer Queen" myself.

"Do I want to know these lyrics having looked up some of Queen's other lyrics?”

(sings half remembered bits)

    "She keeps a (mumbl-y mumb-le...I hope it's not just super gay)”

    “In conversation, she spoke just like a baroness!”

    “(Words words something about Asia Minor and do I really wanna KNO-OW?)”

    “Perfume came naturally from Paris...for guys she couldn't care less(?)”

[2:08 PM] Ms. Rose:

I love “You Better You Bet”... I'm just in "a mood" today and everything sounds scary/serial-killer-ish...or it just makes me angry. Like pistachios and clients.

[2:11 PM] Mr. Amethyst:

Relax.  Try “Hacked to Pieces” - by Six Feet Under

[2:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

“Gunpowder guillotine (pronounced like gelatin) dynamite with a laserbeam”

I think I know all the lyrics to Killer Queen

Maybe not

[2:14 PM] Mr. Silver:

I can actually quote that one section, I just messed it up on purpose for the gag.

I liked the music long before I knew the target audience and I've been creeped out before by looking song lyrics up. Like anyone's lyrics, not just Mercury's.

[2:16 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Oooooh...is that what he said? ....eeeeee...." (headbang)

I did a project once where I took a David Bowie tune, played it in bits, wrote down what I thought he was saying before looking up the real lyrics...

Result was:

"Really? They're totally different. That's weird"

and

"I like what I was hearing better."

[2:19 PM] Ms. Rose:

I think we've discussed this before, but one of the best "misheard lyrics" songs is “Yellow Ledbetter” by Pearl Jam.

[2:22 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah, I always thought it was Yellow Bedwetter!  Come on folks!!

[2:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Heh

[2:28 PM] Ms. Rose:

A Rolling Stone critic (when the song came out) said something like "Great, classic Pearl Jam. Who cares if Eddie had a mouthful of pudding?!"

[11:15 AM] Mr. Blue:

Matt just shouted on a call "PUSSY mill!"

[11:16 AM] Mr. Amethyst:

Yes he did

LOL

[11:16 AM] Mr. Silver:

"What do they mill there?  Oh REA-lly..."

[11:16 AM] Mr. Amethyst:

"I'm on my way!"

[11:17 AM] Mr. Blue:

The clients always emphasize that it's pronounced like choosey

And Matt just goes "PUSSY mill!"

[11:17 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Well, why do they film them?  Ooooohhhh!  I though you meant... Please hold..."

"I'm back...needed to recenter. Honestly, I thought it was a puppy farm kind of thing.  Sorry."

[11:50 AM] Mr. Blue:

I didn't even read this article yet, but I just love this headline on Clickhole:

“Sex-Positive Culture Still Has A Long Way To Go Before It Catches Up With My Weird And Baffling Penis”

[11:53 AM] Mr. Silver:

Errrrrr

[11:54 AM] Mr. Amethyst:

Wow

LOL

[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:

Somehow manages to be a combination of weird AND baffling.

[11:54 AM] Mr. Amethyst:

"Baffling"

[11:54 AM] Mr. Blue:

“[it] looks like M.C. Escher tried to paint the Holocaust.”

[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Some are weird...some are baffling...just have a gander at this...(zzzzIP!)"

[11:56 AM] Ms. Rose:

Leave it to weird and baffling male-parts to ruin it, as usual... *GOSH!*

[11:57 AM] Mr. Silver:

Confessions from the man who inspired David Lynch to make his first skin flick

[11:58 AM] Mr. Blue:

Discolored, wider than it is long, has whiskers

[12:00 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Actress/waitress looking through Variety on break at restaurant) "New project: Film actress needed. Experience helpful. Nude performance.  Weird and baffling sexual anatomy req'd."

OMG! I just got a new agent setup -- Mr. Beavis

"Hmm hnn...and, uhh, what is the name going to be?"

"It'll be joint under Virgil and Gina Beavis."

[12:12 PM] Ms. Rose:

ROFL

[12:12 PM] Mr. Silver:

HUHUHUHUH!!! HUHUHUH!!! Vir-gina Beavis!  HUHUHUH!!!!"

"Hmm mmm... YEAH!  Vir-gina!  ... ...Wait a minute..."

[12:13 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Uhhhhh... Hey, Mr. Beavis... Boioioioioioioing! Heh heh heh heh!"

[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver:

"HUHUHUH!"

"SHUT UP BUTTHEAD!"

[12:13 PM] Mr. Amethyst:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[12:13 PM] Ms. Rose:

B&B humor will never, EVER get old. EVER.

[12:13 PM] Mr. Amethyst:

Nope

[12:14 PM] Mr. Silver:

Nope

[12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:

You guys made my day. :)

I get weird/baffling man-parts and B&B humor all at once. What more could a gal ask for?!

[11:32 AM] Mr. Silver:

Woah...papal shocker...

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/religion/pope-francis-priests-can-forgive-abortion-if-women-are-contrite-n419321

[11:50 AM] Mr. Blue:

This pope seems alright

If he came out and was like "God isn't real" I'd probably become a Catholic again.

[12:01 AM] Mr. Silver:

What a brilliant sentiment. :-)

[12:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

Sounds like a lifetime movie

The Contrite Heart, starring Rebecca DeMornay

[12:18 PM] Ms. Rose:

Also starring John Stamos, playing Pope Butterface the First and Pious.

[12:19 PM] Mr. Silver:

Heh

[12:19 PM] Mr. Blue:

"Obiter dictum, obscuris odi et amo theologicum, have mercy!"

[12:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

Nice

[12:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

And Pauly Shore as Cardinal Joseph: (starts hamming for the camera) "Heeeeeeeyyyyy bu-uddddy."

[12:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Chillin' at the churchhhhh-age for the free wafes and veeee-no."

[12:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

And guest starring Mickey Rooney in archival footage (it's him screentesting for Breakfast at Tiffany's in yellowface)

Directed by Vince Offer (the Sham-Wow guy)

[12:36 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Cardinal Joseph reading letter from Vatican) "Awww dude.  Big PAP-pa got all harsh on the sour cream and onion host idea."

[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:

That Vince Offer guy's real name is Offer Shlomi, and he's from Israel.

[1:33 PM] Mr. Silver:

"I'm Offer Shlomi and I'm here to introduce the Shammes Wow!"

"Just look at that Manischewitz stain on that tiztzit!  Shammes Wow soaks them right away.  Now that's a clean tassel!"

[1:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[1:44 PM] Ms. Rose:

I am blown away by this knowledge of Sham Wow Vince.

And he's 51 years old! I look older than him!

[1:46 PM] Mr. Blue:

He directed Adrian Brody in a movie

[1:47 PM] Ms. Rose:

Is this real life?

[1:47 PM] Mr. Silver:

Gets difficult in here, doesn't it?

[2:10 PM] Mr. Blue:

It's a Vince Offer world. We're all just schmutz waiting to be toweled up.

[2:57 PM] Ms. Rose:

I love it when agents reply (very, very few of them) reply to one of my lengthy overly-helpful emairs and tell me I should get a raise. It doesn't mean anything, but... Tiny silver lining on the otherwise oppressively gray cloud.

[2:58 PM] Mr. Blue:

You should ask for a tip, then

[2:59 PM] Ms. Rose:

I'll send myself a praise. Since I'm in charge of emair praises. LOL

[3:05 PM] Mr.Silver:

"Good job!  You deserve a raise!"

(DING DING DING DING!  whooop Whooop WHOOOP!  [John Phillip Sousa music])

"What was THAT?"

[3:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

"Thank you!  We'll be taking it out of your next paycheck!"

"Huh?"

*click*

[3:06 PM] Mr. Silver:

"An extra 2 cents per hour? Thank you!" 

[3:07 PM] Ms. Rose:

LOL

"Please note the line on your paystub labeled "RA Awesomeness Fee. This is a government-mandated fee imposed to allow you to give raises to co-workers."

[3:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Now here's an interesting one...the Fee Fee."

"Fee fee?"

"Mais oui!  La fee fee es magnifique!"

Hmmm. I'm guess that should have been "les"

But French sucks