Mr.
Silver
Hehehe!
You’ll appreciate this one. A friend of mine emailed me this. He
does support for Fussenmuck. He told a caller to reset their bridge.
"I
asked him if he wanted me to wait and he said: "Welllll,
he's gonna have to find the ladder and then drive to where it's
located, so I don't expect to hear anything for at least an hour."
2:09
PM Lenny
LOL
2:09
PM Mr. Silver
Read that and thought "Holy
crap! What does Simon & Quintus process that it's better
for them to use microwave wireless from a location that far away
up a pole?!?"
2:16
PM Mr. Silver
LOL
2:15
PM Lenny
Haha!
2:16
PM Mr. Silver
Everyone
tiptoes at work...all smart phones are put in a Faraday cage at the
front gate for the day...
2:16
PM Lenny
What
on earth?
2:17
PM Mr. Silver
(I'm
making that last bit up...)
2:17
PM Lenny
Oh,
haha
It
was quite convincing.
2:21
PM Mr. Silver
;-)
2:18
PM Mr. Silver
Jebus...know
what they are? Dirt farmers.
Mulch,
soil, compost, athletic field dirt
2:20
PM Lenny
Sounds
lucrative.
2:21
PM Mr. Blue
I’ve
never heard of microwave wireless.
2:22
PM Mr. Silver
Well...you
have...
I
usually associate it with a news van though.
2:22
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
It
is a pretty massive facility. Looks like 15-20 acres... 99% outdoors.
(Note: Mr. Blue has a tendency to immediately look up aerial views of anything like this that catches his fancy - Mr. Silver)
2:23
PM Mr. Silver
I
guess this is why they told him they can “all take off til we’re
done with a 3-day deer huntin' weekend”. It'll still be dirt
when they get back on Tuesday.
2:24
PM Mr. Blue
Yep.
That
shit ain't goin' nowhere.
2:28
PM Mr. Silver
Not
exactly high on the commercial robbery list.
"Yo...I
got 80 tons of potting soil...prime...around back. Here...feel
the quality."
"Fell
off a truck, right?"
"Some
of it did. We started with 85."
2:30
PM Mr. Blue
*dips
finger in dirt and rubs it on gums* “It's pure.”
2:31
PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
"How
much?"
"$1000?
And 20/hour to rent the truck."
"Sold."
"POLICE!!!
NOBODY MOVE!"
2:32
PM Mr. Silver
"You’re
finished this time! Take these dirtbags in."
"Which
dirtbags?"
"The
dirt bags...the bags of dirt."
"Oh."
2:52
PM Mr. Blue
"Our
top story tonight: A massive dirt-smuggling operation in Wampum has
been shut down by the DEA."
Agent:
"We're glad to get this stuff off the streets... where it could
fall into the hands of kids, making them absolutely filthy."
2:53
PM Mr. Silver
(footage
of proud law enforcement team shaking hands for cameras in front of pile) "In a related story from West Virginia, a sting operation
intercepted another dirt ring. The captured dirt has a street value
of about 30 cents per pound, and the total captured is
estimated to be in excess of $480."
"The
3rd largest haul in that state's history."
3:07
PM Mr. Blue
Heh
3:08
PM Mr. Silver
That
all being said...I must now look up soil robberies.
3:09
PM Mr. Brown
It
has happened; I’m sure of it.
Also
manure.
3:10
PM Mr. Silver
“Yo.
You got the shit, man?”
Looks
to be all stuff like bags from work sites and such.
3:12
PM Mr. Silver
Not
many cases of dirt theft in the world when most of the search results are repeats of the same municipal
scandal and then you are into international news by page 2.
3:15
PM Mr. Blue
I
still like that bridge that was stolen down in Beaver County, I
think.
3:16
PM Mr. Silver
Beautiful.
3:16
PM Mr. Blue
3:17
PM Mr. Silver
I
like to picture an eccentric billionaire who took a fancy to it and
has it and a lot of other banal mundane items in his secret
collection.
3:18
PM Mr. Blue
He
has it in his garden, going over a small pond.
3:19
PM Mr. Silver
"Ah!
I see my Elby's Big Boy has caught your eye; a fascinating
acquisition. More tea? There you are. Let's see, it
was the summer of ‘83, I believe, when I spotted it and knew I had
to have it…"
3:24
PM Mr. Blue
Heh.
7:15
AM Mr. Brown
Bugger.
7:16
AM Mr. Silver
Bugger?
7:18
AM Mr. Brown
I’ve
been on anti-biotics for ten days.
The
sinus infection is still there, and now there’s something in my
chest.
It
sucks.
7:18
AM Mr. Silver
Xenomorph.
7:19
AM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
LOL
7:35
AM Mr. Brown
I
wish I could have seen that meteor, but I was sitting in a hospital
room last night.
8:12
AM Mr. Silver
(Examines
Mr. Blue as he walks past, looking for odd quirks, glowing, loose
skin, tentacles) Morning "Mr. Blue".
I'd
choose watching a fireball over the hospital too, Mr. Brown.
8:12
AM Mr. Blue
Oh
yeah, it was pretty impressive.
I
saw it from my living room with all interior lights on and through a
bunch of trees.
8:14
AM Mr. Silver
(Mr.
Blue standing in front of bare cardboard "living room wall")
"I think it went down near the cemetery! I wonder what it
was! Welp...back to the TV."
...Vague
memories of “Plan 9”...
8:15
AM Mr. Blue
"Saaaay...
what's that scratching sound at the front door?"
*opens
door to reveal aliens*
"Now
go on n' git, ya punk teens!"
8:15
AM Mr. Silver
"Smoochers!"
8:16
AM Mr. Brown
There
were lots of reports of it.
124
on one site I looked at.
8:16
AM Mr. Blue
Yeah,
it was seen from Ontario down to Virginia.
8:16
AM Mr. Brown
So
it did the exploding and burning thing?
8:17
AM Mr. Blue
It
was just a straight line that kind of glowed and dimmed a few times
as it descended, with little flares coming off it.
8:17
AM Mr. Silver
(tap...scratch)
"Hello?"
"Invasion,
ma'am..."
"What?"
(scratch)
"Hello?"
"Candygram."
"Who
is that?"
"...Newspaper
delivery, ma'am..."
The
biggest one I ever saw probably ruined me for lesser meteors.
It
was a big white streak across the whole sky.
8:23
AM Mr. Blue
I’m
holding out for one of those ones that turns the night sky blue
momentarily.
8:24
AM Mr. Silver
I
keep Googling stuff like "earth doomed" this morning, but
I'm not finding a good story about it.
8:39
AM Mr. Silver
There’s
been a lot of mystery fireballs in Russia, I believe I read.
8:44
AM Mr. Blue
Well
it’s a big country, and I think you're more likely to see
meteorites away from the equator too.
8:51
AM Mr. Blue
I’ve
actually seen a lot, though not like this one.
8:54
AM Mr. Silver
We
could all be doomed I suppose.
Based
on all these wonderful calculations people make, we're over due on a
bunch of stuff by 10s of thousands of years.
Why
not a full fireball storm, eh?
8:55
AM Mr. Blue
Yellowstone’s
caldera is overdue for an eruption.
8:56
AM Mr. Silver
"All
of Japan could be destroyed in volcanic eruption!!!" has been a big
story for the last couple days.
"Big
deal...Yellowstone could go and trash the northern hemisphere."
Beat me to it.
8:56
AM Mr. Blue
Then
there’s Cumbre Vieja. I don't buy that it's going to do
anything significant.
8:57
AM Mr. Silver
(Raymond
Burr as Steve Martin) "Help me out here...I'm afraid my Japanese is a
little rusty."
(Spanish
officer) “Japanese?”
“What
does he mean, ‘Cumbre Vieja’?”
"…
… It means Godzilla in Spanish."
"Oh!
That a Mount Fuji thing?"
"Canary
islands..."
"Like...Honshu?"
"Go
away."
8:59
AM Mr. Blue
Some
guy claimed it'd create a wave a mile high to hit the east coast.
8:59
AM Mr. Silver
Yup.
Mrs.
Silver "Would that reach us?"
"No,
but the beach would be closer for a while."
9:00
AM Mr. Blue
Those
evacuating would reach us.
9:00
AM Mr. Blue
Computer
models now say it'd be successive waves around 100 ft high.
Dutch
scientists say Cumbre Vieja is stable for another 10,000 years and
more likely to be a gradual landslide.
I
trust the Dutch.
9:00
AM Mr. Brown
We
are overdue for an ice age.
9:03
AM Mr. Silver
"Turns
out the only thing that saved humanity from the ice age was planetary
heat death."
9:08
AM Mr. Brown
Just
live every day like there is a apocalypse of some kind tomorrow.
9:09
AM Mr. Silver
Hell...there
always IS an apocalypse pending. We could be partially to
completely wiped out in a ton of ways.
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