Mr.
Blue
Why
would you do what a cat tells you to do?
11:02
AM Mr. Gray
Oh,
that’s nice.
11:14
AM Mr. Silver
"Well,
he's a very clever cat."
11:15
AM Mr. Blue
OK
fine... you hear voices... why listen to them?
11:16
AM Mr. Gray
You
know...my dog can't talk, but she gives me messages all the time. "I
wanna go outside!!!" And I can say No. Why couldn't he?
"But
your honor....I was completely under the mental domination of that
cat! I had no control. It MADE me do it!!"
11:23
AM Mr. Silver
"The
cat said something about it being phase one in a series of plans.
He drew out a map and marked targets in his litter box for me.
He got really frustrated when my wife would clean it."
11:32
AM Mr. Gray
Cats
are evil to begin with.
11:33
AM Mr. Silver
"He
said the bank job was just for seed money to prep for the hit on the
Fancy Feast warehouse."
11:34
AM Mr. Gray
"He
told me if I didn't go along with it, I'd be sent to the catnip
fields to work in the sun all day."
11:35
AM Mr. Silver
"He
was all about the nip, your honor. There was talk about taking
out some of the catnip dealers from the west side that were
encroaching on territory he'd clearly sprayed."
11:35
AM Mr. Blue
Heheh
Goodfellas,
but with cats.
11:39
AM Mr. Blue
"and
when the dogs...when they assigned a whole pack to stop Mr. Jingles,
what'd he do? He made 'em partners."
12:05
PM Mr. Silver
"Well,
yeah, he did do time in the pound. Said a rat had ratted him
out. The rat, you know...he suffered an unfortunate accident while the cat was in."
12:26
PM Mr. Silver
"Big
funeral. Beautiful. The cats went all out. Big flower arrangements,
top quality shoebox."
12:35
PM Mr. Silver
This
is sounding like a story your mom should write, Mr. Blue.
12:37
PM Mr. Blue
Heh,
yeah.
Mr.
Gray
2:22
PM Mr. Amethyst
"Locked
in" syndrome.
2:23
PM Mr. Silver
EEK!
Hell!
2:28
PM Mr. Gray
Yeah,
tell me that wouldn’t suck.
2:30
PM Mr. Blue
So
he couldn't open or close his eyes?
To
me that would be the difference between paralyzed and
comatose...facial movement.
2:46
PM Mr. Silver
"Doctors
had no explanation for Houben's tendency to walk around, go to the
cafeteria for meals, and his frequent phone calls to friends and
relatives."
2:47
PM Mr. Blue
(woman
in morgue) "This man's not my husband, and he's not dead!"
(man
on drawer tray) "That's what I’ve been trying to tell you!"
(coroner)
"That's just gas escaping."
2:47
PM Mr. Amethyst
lol
2:48
PM Mr. Silver
(doctor)
"We were told he was comatose 23 years ago by the head of the
department. Heck, we were interns and nurses then. You do
what you're told, right? I think some of us were confused when he'd
talk, sure, but it's just neurons firing, you know?"
2:49
PM Mr. Amethyst
Perfect!
Life imitating art.
"Bring
out your dead!"
“Here
you go!”
“I'm
not dead!”
2:51
PM Mr. Gray
LMAO
7:42
AM Mr. Silver
"You
get all the guns and ammo out of it?"
(looks)
"Yeah, Pa."
"Well
lock it and let's box 'er up."
7:44
AM Mr. Brown
lol
7:45
AM Mr. Silver
"Seems
awful heavy...you sure the guns and ammo are all out?"
"Yes
sir, I checked like you said."
7:46
AM Mr. Brown
I
was thinking; did they ever catch anybody that insulated their house
with weed?
LOL
7:50
AM Mr. Silver
That
would be a billion dollars in weed. No point though...a house
is not very portable.
7:51
AM Mr. Brown
Apple
is going pimp.
7:58
AM Mr. Silver
There's
a smartphone in the UK that has a ruby power button and a sapphire
screen. Instead of tech support, there's a speeddial to a
concierge service.
7:59
AM Mr. Brown
That’s
a bit much.
LOL
7:59
AM Mr. Silver
Costs
a little
bit...
8:00
AM Mr. Brown
I
would think.
How
would a sapphire screen work?
8:01
AM Mr. Silver
It’s
just a hard clear mineral. So the same as a normal screen but
made of sapphire.
8:01
AM Mr. Brown
Ahh
Not
blue.
8:02
AM Mr. Silver
They
could have said transparent beryl, I suppose, but sapphire sounds
schmancier.
8:02
AM Mr. Brown
Well,
everything I’m finding on that is Gorilla Glass bashing them,
saying it’s not strong enough.
LOL
8:02
AM Mr. Silver
"Transparent
beryl screen" +$10
"Transparent
sapphire screen" +$500
9:17
AM Mr. Amethyst
I
scored my first goal last night.
9:18
AM Mr. Silver
MVP!
How many years have you been playing?
9:18
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL!
Out front? This is my first year. I was in the net for
two.
9:19
AM Mr. Silver
"They
had two guys in the penalty box and the goalie pulled, then a fight
broke out. It was easy. I only had to take a few shots
while the parents were trying to break up the kids, and it was in!"
9:19
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
7:23
AM Mr. Brown
I
got my Swiss Army knife.
Cut
my finger.
lol
7:24
AM Mr. Silver
Heh
Good
tests:
#1. Are
they quality blades?
#2.
Am I the sort of person that should carry a pocket knife?
7:29
AM Mr. Brown
They
close fast. My finger was just too close when I closed it.
(Later…)
10:03
AM Mr. Brown
I’m
killing my fingers here.
I
just got another cut from something here at work on my thumb.
LOL
10:04
AM Mr. Amethyst
...
10:04
AM Mr. Brown
I
have a cut from a fish aquarium and a cut from my new Swiss Army
knife.
10:04
AM Mr. Amethyst
LMAO
10:04
AM Mr. Brown
The
cut on my thumb from the fish aquarium was a surprise.
I
was cleaning it, then later looked at my hand and there was blood on
it.
LOL
Must
have caught an edge.
10:27
AM Mr. Silver
The
world is trying to kill you, Mr. Brown.
10:27
AM Mr. Amethyst
^
10:27
AM Mr. Amethyst
Death
of 1000 Cuts
(And
still later...)
1:54
PM Mr. Brown
WHY
WHY WHY WHY NO NO NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:55
PM Mr. Amethyst
I
saw that on reddit last night.
1:56
PM Mr. Silver
I’d
rather fight a dragon.
1:57
PM Mr. Brown
I
FEEL THE DRAGON!
OH
NO!
1:57
PM Mr. Amethyst
As
Nelly said: "do you really wanna unleash the dragon?"
(And,
yet later...)
2:55
PM Mr. Brown
What
the hell am I supposed to use this parcel hook for? The one on
a Swiss Army knife.
2:56
PM Mr. Silver
The
"universal hook"?
2:56
PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
2:56
PM Mr. Silver
You
hook the universe with it.
2:56
PM Mr. Brown
lol
2:59
PM Mr. Silver
Or
you could use it for this:
2:59
PM Mr. Brown
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment