Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day 220 - "He's Right Over There Behind The Statue Of Jesus!", Are Conservative Republican Beliefs Now Screwed Up Enough To Consider A Religion?, Odd God Out, Epic Level Catholic, "A Baldwin Carol", "I'm Santa Claus, Bitch!", Tough Old Fruits, and "In A Hole Down On The Streets There Worked A Hobbit"

Mr. Silver
7 films with the main character never shown.
(Pictures Lord Of the Rings with Gandalf erased, but talking.)
8:55 AM Mr. Blue
Nice
8:57 AM Mr. Silver
(Excited director) "And then we have something really exciting planned for the scene where the prophet ascends to heaven on his horse!"
(Bored interviewer) "Gonna show any of that?"
"Wellll...no, actually.  But we'll have crowd reactions and the stars talking about it."
"Another Oscar-worthy scene, I'm sure."
8:59 AM Mr. Brown
“I could almost see it myself!  I saw it in their faces!  It was amazing!”
LOL
9:00 AM Mr. Silver
"We're going to have a guy with a long boom with a light on the end, and the crowd's eyes will follow it."
9:00 AM Mr. Blue
He’ll be like Wilson from Home Improvement.
Behind a fence, a camel, a pot of water, etc.
9:03 AM Mr. Blue
Islam leads to a pretty dull culture.
Well… Strict adherence to conservative Islam does: they tear down anything that's historically significant, they all dress the same, etc.
9:12 AM Mr. Silver
So it'll be all done in blocking sight gags, like they used in the Austin Powers movies.
Any time Mohammed walks in, something will be in the way.
"Look!  Behind the pillar!  The prophet comes!"
9:13 AM Mr. Blue
Heheh
That’s what I mean, let's do that.
9:14 AM Mr. Silver
"He's waving to me!  See his hand behind that wiggling branch?"


Mr. Gray
Mr. Silver
"Guns don't kill people.  People don't kill people.  God has people with guns kill people then makes everyone play 20 Questions but won’t answer any of the guesses."
11:58 AM Mr. Brown
IF there is a God up there, He definitely did not kill them.
11:59 AM Mr. Gray
12:00 PM Mr. Brown
Ok, so I do believe in God and nobody in here can change that, but I’m not going to go believing that GOD killed the children because people are having sex.
lol
Besides God uses floods
Fire
Plagues
12:02 PM Mr. Silver
And in this case, paladins, apparently.
12:04 PM Mr. Gray
LMAO
12:07 PM Mr. Blue
Just when you think the Republican Party is trying to actually turn the corner, they go and blame a school shooting on video games and contraception.
They never learn.
12:08 PM Mr. Brown
To be honest on the God thing, if He got fed up enough with what’s down here He would just hit restart.
12:10 PM Mr. Gray
12:10 PM Mr. Blue
Yeeeeupp.
I wonder what party he endorses.
Bobby Jindal said after the election that Republicans need to stop saying "dumb stuff"
It lasted about 6 weeks.
12:12 PM Mr. Silver
6 weeks!?!
They were gaffing immediately.  It was almost like the campaign was still going.
12:31 PM Mr. Silver
Anyway...this is all why I lean towards God not taking a direct hand in anything.  Deist, if you will.  Sys Admin...Lord High Programmer...
Because He's either no good at this...or just doesn't interfere.
12:33 PM Mr. Gray
I think of it more as "I’ll gave you a nice place...common sense...let’s see how you do with that."
Probably a lot of wincing and grumbling going on as he watches
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
Or laughing.
12:34 PM Mr. Gray
That too.
Kind of like when you play the Sims
"Did she really push him into the oven?!  Wow...."
12:35 PM Mr. Silver
"Religious scholars have revealed that The Keystone Kops film concept was gleaned from an ancient text purporting to be the giggle-filled daily observations of God himself, watching His creation."
12:35 PM Mr. Brown
God said follow these rules and I'll be good to you when you die, otherwise I might just say “Sorry, you were bad.”
I even believe He created somebody to tell us again what we are supposed to do, and we still didn't listen.
LOL
12:37 PM Mr. Silver
Let's grant that...
"Here, latest avatar...here's the latest version of hope for the humans.  Go down and deliver it."
But it's always botched
Always.
12:38 PM Mr. Brown
It gets to a few here and there, just not the whole world.
12:39 PM Mr. Silver
It lasts until the guy dies, passes to heaven, vanishes or the bush burns out.
And then people start messing with it.  Finito
"One True Path"
Bam...6 versions of it in a couple years.
Potentially 100 in a few decades.
Conflicting opinions...conflicting interpretations...con artists...egomaniacs…concepts that have long outlived their time...
12:41 PM Mr. Silver
The basics?  Sure...they all have approximately the same basics.  Perhaps we could stick to them and throw the rest of the trash out.


2:40 PM Mr. Brown
“Today in the news the Flying Spaghetti Monster has shown his true colors: Alfredo”
2:42 PM Mr. Silver
Mmmm...tasty god...
2:42 PM Mr. Brown
"Today, Raptor Jesus was caught DUI"
"Again in today’s news, Buddy Jesus was caught with 40 pounds of pot claiming it was a gift from his dad.”
2:44 PM Mr. Silver
He says everything is a gift from His Dad.
2:45 PM Mr. Brown
"Alanis Morriset and Morgan Freeman both found to be God"
“When Alanis was asked what it’s like to be God, she said it’s like rain.”
2:46 PM Mr. Silver
"God Relaxes with Skee-ball and Janitorial Work, Say College of Cardinals."
2:47 PM Mr. Silver
Rain...heh.
"God like one of us, according to musical authority Joan Osborne.  Leads by example when it comes to commuting via public transportation."
"Generally unkempt appearance description causes clash with 'old white bearded man on throne in clouds' camp." 


Mr. Silver
"Pope Paul VI Picks Up New Prestige Class" 
2:44 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
2:45 PM Mr. Silver
Completed the Heroic Virtues quest...says so right in line one.
What a cleric!
2:45 PM Mr. Gray
Hehe


10:37 AM Mr. Brown
Somebody should have done A Baldwin Christmas Carol
10:38 AM Mr. Silver
"I am the Ghost of Baldwins Past"
"Long past?"
"No, Baldwins Past"
10:41 AM Mr. Brown
There are enough of them to do a lot of the characters.
lol
10:42 AM Mr. Silver
(Leads towards window)  "Please, I am a Baldwin, and liable to fall!"
"Bear but a touch of Baldwins hand, there, and you will be upheld as a Baldwin in more than this." 


Mr. Yellow
Watched Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer the other day with the kids, and damn is Santa a real jerk.
Mrs. Yellow kept hitting me because I kept saying “Wow! Santa is a jerk!”
11:00 AM Mr. Gray
LMAO
11:08 AM Mr. Yellow
I did not remember as a kid how horrible everyone was to Rudolph.  His dad was a jerk, his coach, and Santa.
Mr. Silver
Santa was a serious all-around jerk in that movie, yeah.
11:16 AM Mr. Yellow
Yes
11:20 AM Mr. Silver
I loved the Elf Singing bit with him flopped in a throne and an "I would rather be anywhere else" look.
They finish singing…pause for approval…
"Yeah...well...it needs work."
And he just walks out on them.
11:22 AM Mr. Yellow
LOL
Mr. Silver
It’s the end credits that are the best, though.  I've written up that horror show before.
They pick up the misfit toys with the implication that Santa is going to find them homes.
And then, a minute over the Arctic Ocean, he has his elves forcibly tossing them...only them...off the sleigh.  "Here...take an umbrella and GTF out!"
Some of them even seem to be resisting.
12:08 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
12:10 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahahah
There goes my childhood!


12:17 PM Mr. Brown
12:18 PM Mr. Amethyst
Dude...they’re prunes, not raisins, and raisins are just old grapes.
12:33 PM Mr. Silver
Prunes are just old plums.
12:33 PM Mr. Amethyst
See, Mr. Silver understands.
12:34 PM Mr. Brown
Dude, they are not as big as you think they are.
LOL
12:45 PM Mr. Blue
I never knew prunes were old plums
I guess with the pit removed?
12:52 PM Mr. Silver
Yes
12:52 PM Mr. Amethyst
If you’re into that kind of thing.
12:54 PM Mr. Silver
Pitless prunes = prunes for wussies
Like those people that eat nuts with the shells off...bah.


1:36 PM Mr. Brown
Hobit
Hobit
Hobit
Dwarf dwarf
Didn't they lapse a few times on size in the LOTR movies?
Like hobits to other creatures?
1:41 PM Mr. Silver
Its “hobbits”.
Ho bits are different
1:42 PM Mr. Brown
Ahh
1:42 PM Mr. Amethyst
Ho bits are...more fun than hobbits.
at

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