Retro Post 3 - Only The Shadow Knows The Shadow Doesn't Work Here, NObody Expects The Weather Report To Be Accurate, [This Next One Is Important Folks -->] The Secret Of "Oop oop & Ahh Ahh", and Faux French Mac Muck

Mr. Silver

Morning.
What horrors await?

7:07 AM Mr. Green

Only the Shadow knows... and he's smart enough not to work here.

7:10 AM Mr. Silver
Wouldn't know if he did…
Heh...double joke:
"He would no longer know if he worked here" and "We wouldn't know one way or the other if he was working here or not."
7:28 AM Mr. Silver
"Wait...I know you.  Aren't you the Shadow?" 
"I am not The Shadowwwww." 
"You are not The Shadow." 
"You have never seen nor heard of The Shadowwwww." 
"I have never seen or heard of the Shadow." 
"Mwahahahaha!" 

7:29 AM Mr. Green

LOL

7:29 AM Mr. Silver
"(Shakes head)  So how's it goin'?"  
"Eh...just taking support inquiries..." 
"Yeah..."



8:08 AM Mr. Silver
I was just looking for you.  Good timing.

8:08 AM Mr. Gray

I was running late.  I didn’t expect the freezing rain until later today.

8:09 AM Mr. Silver
(Jarring horn blast!  Cardinals rush in!)  "Noooo-body expects the Freezing Rain!"
8:10 AM Mr. Silver
"Our chief weapon is the ice.  The cold and ice...  Our two weapons are the cold, ice and obscured vision.  Three...our three weapons are cold, ice, obscured vision and...  Oh bugger we'll come in again..."



       (On overhearing wedding talk - Mr. Silver)

8:33 AM Ms. Amethyst

Morning.

8:36 AM Mr. Silver
I have this sudden urge to hassle bridal shops with declarations that "our colors" are things like Canary Yellow and Orange.
Or Hot Pink and Peppermint Stripes.
"We went with Zinc and Teal…got anything in lamé?"
8:41 AM Mr. Silver
I used to work at a place where I was one of the few men with about 200 women.  I overheard "my colors are" and wedding dress and etc. chats a lot.
Mr. Silver
I've heard things I’ve not told other men simply because they wouldn't believe me...
9:10 AM Mr. Silver
It helped that I went to school for anthropology - I got accepted by "the tribe" as safe to talk to.
9:19 AM Mr. Silver
Have I told you the "Oop oop,  Ahh ahh" story?
AKA "The day they remembered I was a man"?

9:52 AM Ms. Amethyst

LOL

No, you never did.

9:52 AM Mr. Silver
Once upon a time...
One of them, Sue, was practically weeping one day, totally baffled by her man. 
"I just don't understand him!"
10:35 AM Mr. Silver
"He shoots this deer, and hangs this corpse in the garage.  And then he calls all his buddies over and they stand around all afternoon looking at it and drinking beer and poking it and talking about it."
"And he kept dragging ME in there, like I cared, and making me look at it, and I JUST DON'T GET IT!"
"Hugh, you're a man...What the hell was that all about?"
"Well," I said, "It makes perfect sense to me, so I'll explain it.  It has to do with basic male communication, and how they think."

10:40 AM Ms. Amethyst

LOL

10:40 AM Mr. Silver
(The Amazons all leaned in)
"You ever catch one of those nature shows about chimps?" 
"Yeah, sure...what about it?"
10:44 AM Mr. Silver
"Well, chimps don't have a really complex language going on, but it's there.  And if you watch the male chimps, they spend their days stumping around and playing with stuff and posturing for the females, and their main language is 'oop oop'.  They say it constantly."

10:45 AM Ms. Amethyst

Ohhh, ok.

10:57 AM Mr. Silver
"What 'oop oop' means is: 'Look at me!  Look at what I'm doing!  Look at what I can do!  Look what I got you!" 

10:58 AM Ms. Amethyst

LOL

10:58 AM Mr. Silver
"Your man...and the guys in the garage...are all 'ooping' together.  It's what they do."
"So the next time you are trapped by your man and his friends, and confused by all their male posturing and such, just hear the 'oops'.  You'll understand them then, and the rest is easy."
Well....
Several days later...

11:01 AM Ms. Amethyst

LOL

11:01 AM Mr. Silver
Sue comes in all smiles "You've saved my marriage!"
"He started up with a couple of his buddies, and I did what you said and listened for the "oops", and my God!  It was like I could really hear them!  And once I could, we all had a great time because I understood, y'know?"
All well and good, right?
I was put off my guard...
11:20 AM Mr. Silver
The group's alpha female, shortly after, asked me in an oh-so-special tone that I sort of picked up on, but didn't register as dangerous –
"Hey Silver...if men say 'oop oop', what do women say?"
11:37 AM Mr. Silver
(Enjoying the story so far?)

11:38 AM Ms. Amethyst

Yes!  Then what happened?

LOL

12:16 PM Mr. Silver
I said, "Well...remember the chimp example?  It's just a matter of looking at the females.  Again, the language chimps use is awfully limited but it's there."

12:16 PM Ms. Amethyst

Yup

12:21 PM Mr. Silver
"And, generally, you see the females gathering, doing stuff together, being calm and nurturing.  And they gently say 'ahh ahh'."
12:30 PM Mr. Silver
"And what does 'ahh ahh' mean...in your opinion?”
I didn’t hear the silent “you male?" at the end of the question.
I was still under the delusion I was safe...even though there was a psychic cloud of menace in the circle.
12:38 PM Mr. Silver
I said, "Ahh ahh means 'Listen to me.  Listen to what I’m telling you.  Listen to what I think.  Listen to how I feel."
And...
This led to a lesson in the 3rd element of chimp language:
“Shrieking at each other when furious”.

12:39 PM Ms. Amethyst

Yup

9:27 AM Corn     Anyone want a Macintosh user from marketing?  She wants a different tech.
9:27 AM Cup      Ouch!
9:28 AM Corn     I’m not taking offense.
9:30 AM Silver    Put her on hold and then come back on with a funny accent.
9:30 AM Sarc      That’s a perfect plan.  I second that suggestion!
9:33 AM Silver    "Ah meh oui!  Vee weeel 'ave la email avec Le MAC set uppe tut suite, madam!"
9:33 AM Sarc      I’m impressed.  That’s some good French, Silver.
9:34 AM Silver    Hehe