8:07 AM Mr. Brown
Morning
So Kim Jong-il is gone now. Is his son any better?
8:08 AM Mr. Silver
I guess we'll find out.
Nothing says “Communist People's Government" like a 3rd generation hereditary ruler.
Funny...sounds a bit like a monarchy...
8:10 AM Mr. Silver
A Comm-onarchy!
9:55 AM Mr. Silver
So we should have known that when Kim Jong-un's hairstyle was officially sanctioned, the end was near for Jong-il.
9:56 AM Mr. Blue
lol
9:58 AM Mr. Blue
So how long before the cult of personality really picks up steam for Jong-un?
I mean, when are his first statues and street names coming? How long before he invents solar power and pasteurization?
9:58 AM Mr. Silver
"Jong-il's hair will rest in state for public viewing for the next few weeks. Millions are expected to be ordered to view the fallen coiffure to pay their respects. Barbers will be on hand for all male visitors to make use of as they exit."
10:04 AM Mr. Blue
Apparently KJI died in 2003 from diabetes, and that his stand-in is who died yesterday.
“RIP Our Dear Stand-in!”
10:09 AM Mr. Blue
According to his biography, he first picked up a golf club in 1994, at North Korea's only golf course, and shot a 38-under par round that included no fewer than 11 holes in one. Satisfied with his performance, he immediately declared his retirement from the sport.
10:11 AM Mr. Silver
He must have been teeing on the green.
It took 7 holes to learn he sucked, and he played the next 11 with the ball placed at 2 inches from the hole.
10:14 AM Mr. Silver
It looks like their “golf course” is a small 9 hole pitch-n-putt.
10:15 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
10:16 AM Mr. Silver
The longest two holes are 100 yards.
"Caddy...what do you think on this hole."
"Just pitch it straight again."
10:17 AM Mr. Blue
I’m sure they did what Smithers did for Mr. Burns in The Simpsons - his actual ball self-destructs and someone places a 2nd ball right next to the cup.
10:22 AM Mr. Blue
He reportedly spread the myth across North Korea that he could control the weather with his moods, as if by magic.
He claims he invented the hamburger
10:26 AM Mr. Silver
He didn't?
10:26 AM Mr. Blue
Dubious.
10:28 AM Mr. Silver
(experiences anxiety) Are there any more Jong-il axes about my perception of reality to drop on me?
I'm not sure I can take more.
10:28 AM Mr. Blue
According to his official biographers, his birth in Baekdu Mountain was prophesied by a swallow and heralded with a double rainbow and a new star in the heavens.
10:29 AM Mr. Silver
Right. Everyone knows that.
Right?
Not that TOO?!?!
10:30 AM Mr. Blue
I know that, in general, they blame everything on the USA. Even things like poor crops, fires and bad weather.
10:31 AM Mr. Silver
I thought those were his moods.
10:33 AM Mr. Blue
The good weather is probably because of KJI, bad weather is because of the USA.
I guess it's a running inside joke in the country that every little thing is blamed on the USA.
Stub your toe? Blame America.
10:34 AM Mr. Gray
Of course if he is in a bad mood, its our fault...so...
11:01 AM Mr. Blue
I can't believe more hasn't been done about North Korea. I guess they don't have any oil.
11:12 AM Mr. Pink
I just booked a vacation there!
11:34 AM Mr. Silver
North Korea just launched a missile: "test-fire"
11:38 AM Mr. Blue
A good start, Jong-un!
11:45 AM Mr. Silver
"an unnamed government official said the missile launch was unrelated to the news of Kim's death on from a heart attack on Saturday."
Yes...I'm sure.
11:46 AM Mr. Blue
Just a move by Jong-un to say "Hey, I’m in charge, and I’m just as bat-poop crazy and unpredictable as the old man. And I don't care about the well-being of my people so long as I get to be king."
11:47 AM Mr. Silver
I wonder if he doesn't poop either...like dear old dad.
11:47 AM Mr. Blue
He poops rainbows.
11:47 AM Mr. Silver
I'm not sure if that's better or worse.
11:47 AM Mr. Blue
I’d be concerned for this new kid.
He basically doesn't even know any better. He probably actually believes that America and the West are to blame for every little thing, ya know?
Kim Jong-il was in on the ruse, but this kid might not know any better.
"Dear Leader, a bird just pooped on your hat."
"Nuke Seoul!"
12:02 PM Mr. Blue
(for the video)
12:08 PM Mr. Silver
(watches) I wonder if he told them something like "When I die, everyone's youngest kid will die within a week."
12:09 PM Mr. Blue
Some of them seem to be laughing hysterically.
12:09 PM Mr. Silver
@1:09 Some of them need to explain why grown adults were in an elementary school classroom watching TV at the right moment, with a non-crying cameraman filming.
12:12 PM Mr. Blue
Its probably just a simple case of "If I get caught on national TV not mourning the death of our leader, my whole family will be sent to a labor camp!"
That would make me tear up pretty quickly.
12:12 PM Mr. Silver
@2:17 "Let's all form an orderly column at the same time and walk up to his statue!"
12:13 PM Mr. Blue
I saw a documentary on N. Korea with similar reactions to other things: The people were basically hysterical out of fear of not showing enough respect and getting thrown in prison.
If you defect out of North Korea, generally they throw the family you leave behind in prison, and their "prisons" make Dachau and Auschwitz look like a Sandal's resort. Prisoners are kept in cells too small to stand up straight or lay down in.
12:13 PM Mr. Silver
@2:34...The “Oscar” moment.
12:14 PM Mr. Blue
The people being shown bowing and kneeling in front of the statue might get in some trouble. They're not supposed to do that. That's why most of the people are standing in single file.
12:18 PM Mr. Blue
In the documentary I watched a guy drop to one knee to get a picture of a statue and he was promptly arrested. Of course in America you get arrested if you dance at the Jefferson Memorial, so I guess we're more alike than we think.
12:19 PM Mr. Silver
@ 2:50 "Excuse me, is this the line for placing a flower and synchronized bowing to the big mural?"
12:20 PM Mr. Blue
"Yes. If you plan on wailing hysterically, you'll need to purchase a ticket."
12:23 PM Mr. Blue
In October 2007, a South Pyongan province factory chief convicted of making international phone calls from 13 phones he installed in his factory basement was executed by firing squad in front of a crowd of 150,000 people in a stadium
In 2011, two people were executed in front of 500 spectators for handling propaganda leaflets floated across the border from South Korea.
12:26 PM Mr. Blue
"Handling"? Like, touching it? Throwing it away?
12:26 PM Mr. Silver
Capitalism via osmosis
They were infected
12:31 PM Mr. Silver
@ 3:16 Awesome! Everyone else gets ½ mast. Kim Jong-il gets his flag at 5/6 mast!
Whatta man!
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
One of my peeves is rewrites of T'was The Night Before Christmas
12:41 PM Mr. Silver
I want a contest: Most Trite And Insipid Rewrite Of T'was The Night Before Christmas.
1:20 PM Mr. Blue
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/Or_de_Varna_-_N%C3%A9cropole.jpg A burial at Varna Necropolis.
Uhm, what's that down betwixt his legs?
1:23 PM Mr. Gray
Umm...golden condom? Maybe expected lots of sex in the afterlife?
1:23 PM Mr. Blue
It might be where the term "gold digger" came from.
1:24 PM Mr. Silver
It's not impossible it was a replacement.
1:24 PM Mr. Blue
I could be. What's-his-face, the astronomer, had a gold nose replacement.
1:24 PM Mr. Silver
Well that...but he's buried with all his weapons, and if he died in battle and his enemies cut it off...well...you wouldn't want to go to eternity without one.
1:25 PM Mr. Blue
Ohhhhh. Okay.
1:25 PM Mr. Silver
He probably had a wood winkie and the end was capped in gold...look at the "spear" on the right. There's nothing left but the warhead and the 4 visible gold decorative bands; the wood didn't even stain the dirt. A replacement penis of wood wouldn't have a chance.
1:29 PM Mr. Blue
That's a nice set of teeth for the bronze age, eh?
1:29 PM Mr. Silver
Very nice. Meat eater. He didn't grind them out or rot 'em on stone-ground grain.
I was wondering why his skull looked like it had been opened, but I think that's a wire from whatever was on his head.
1:34 PM Mr. Blue
Those hoops near his head.. earrings?
1:34 PM Mr. Silver
The little ones? Yes.
3:20 PM Mr. Gray
I have to wonder if the Saudi Prince who invested in Twitter just did it to get inside information for when the wave of uprisings reaches Saudi Arabia, so he can slip out and run off to America with his money.
“DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal and his investment company said Monday they are investing a combined $300 million into Twitter”
3:21 PM Mr. Silver
There's been a few tiny uprisings down Middle East way, yes.
3:21 PM Mr. Gray
"What...rebels use Twitter to organize rallies and tear down regimes? I'm part of a regime? Yeah...I'd like to know when that is happening please. Thanks!"
3:21 PM Mr. Silver
A cheap alarm system for him.
3:21 PM Mr. Gray
Hehe...I guess $300mil is cheap for a Saudi prince. Alwaleed, a nephew of the Saudi king, ranks 26th on Forbes' list of the world's richest people.
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