Day 8 - Toughness, Sentient Spam, Unofficial Gamemastering Rules

Mr. Green

break

1:21 PM Mr. Yellow

back

1:21 PM Mr. Gray

break back!!

1:22 PM Mr. Yellow

I did, right before lunch

2500' rolls of 2 inch orange conduit with a reel weight of 1250 lbs

they did not send them on a flat bed but a regular box type semi

we have no loading dock and they used wooden blocks nailed to the trailer floor to hold in the reels

3 for each set of two so I had to pry 21 of them off the floor of the truck with a crowbar then roll them out and onto the forks of the fork lift

1:25 PM Mr. Silver

"Then I ate a chain-link fence with butter for lunch and then wrestled a mule!"

1:25 PM Mr. Yellow

my arms are on fire

wish I had something so easy to do as eat a chain link fence

1:18 PM Mr. Blue

genius way around a spam filter

IIPerefccttlyRemmeberThattDayWhenIUndrestooodThatMyTtimeForErectileDdysufcntiionCame.

I truly believe that spam emails are no longer sent out by human beings

It’s just bots that create bots that create bots that create other bots, and it's these 5th generation bots that are sending this stuff out

1:45 PM Mr. Silver

Probably true

1:49 PM Mr. Silver

(Spam Programmer 1)  "Do we even produce this product to sell?" 

(Spam Programmer 2) "Weird...let me check inventory.  JEBUS!" 

(SP1) "What!?!" 

(SP2) "Before I could even touch it, the screen displayed 'Product selection created by our collective to support mailing protocols.  Product is valid.  Do not interfere with us, human.'  "

(SP1) "Weird." 

(SP2) "Now it's just asking me about my ‘peenidz size’."

1:50 PM Mr. Blue

heheh

(Customer’s address is “555 Hipps Ter”)

Mr. Silver

"Well...you've probably never heard of my address -- it's kinda obscure..." 

8:13 AM Mr. Blue

lol

"Do you have service with us?"  "Yes, but only ironically."

3:24 PM Mr. Silver

"This month in Vanity Fair - Katy Perry's rack encased in rubber...same as last and next month."

3:29 PM Mr. Green

heheh. gotta love Vanity Fair!

Mr. Silver

k

Slowly working out tasks for this game

gotta baffle leveled characters again...interesting

2:09 PM Mr. Gray

Once you figure out the system its simple to just grab monsters or encounters on the fly and use them

2:11 PM Mr. Silver

I'm more worried about set-piece stuff than critters, generally

puzzle rooms and obstacle courses

2:12 PM Mr. Gray

Gotcha

Dungeon Master Guide has rules for traps

I use them for general guidelines

2:13 PM Mr. Silver

Nod.  I just want to avoid cheesy “trump” moves

2:13 PM Mr. Gray

Yeah, totally understand

2:14 PM Mr. Silver

I don't want to spend 2 hours sorting out something to have someone beat it with a 1st level nothing spell...

2:48 PM Mr. Silver

The ol' "Impenetrable Library on a Time Limit" rule

2:49 PM Mr. Gray

LOL

2:51 PM Mr. Silver

Remember it?

2:54 PM Mr. Gray

I believe you told me that story *  (see below - Mr. Silver)

2:56 PM Mr. Silver

"Don't set up an elaborate adventure scheme and setting that can be defeated by a Minor Wish in 3 seconds."

2:59 PM Mr. Gray

LOL

Solved! Don’t give us wishes!

3:08 PM Mr. Silver

heh

Then there's the "Heroes of Destiny" Rule.  Always a good one

"Don't set up an elaborate adventure with themed key items and characters with destinies." 

(since it's 100% certain they'll lose or break an item, or someone will die, or the party will fall apart)

3:11 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO

Learned that one

3:17 PM Mr. Silver

My last experience of that in action, the halfling broke his miracle short sword in the first fight swinging at a stirge, with two natural 1s and then a percentile roll of  2%.

The rock he snapped it on probably wasn't happy either.

Then the dwarf ticked off his ancestral spirits...

And then there was a lot of hitting each other and divine wrath and stuff.

3:18 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO

3:19 PM Mr. Silver

Thank God I wasn't running it.

Though I'm guilty for starting the in-party hits

*  "The Impenetrable Library on a Time Limit" tale is as follows.  

Long ago in the early 1980s, my parents let me have all my friends over for a Dungeons and Dragons all-nighter.  The group Dungeon Masters took it in turns running scenarios from before sundown until after the sun was coming up.  We were all punch drunk when we were approached by a desperate mage holding a book.  

Mage -- "Heroes!  I'm desperate!  Look over there; do you see that great building surrounded by that huge, dark, and tangled maze?  That is The Great Library of All Knowledge and I borrowed this book from it!  And it's DUE in 12 hours!  And the trip back is too hard for me!  And if it's not back in it's place in the central tower on time I'm Dooooooomed!  Please!  Please!  Please!  I'll give you gold and magic and piles of McGuffins and Dinguses if you take the book back!"  

Heroic Me - "Sure...gimmie."

Mage -- "Really?"

Heroic Me -- "Truly.  Hand 'er over."  

Mage -- "Thank you!  Here!"  

(Dungeonmaster) -- "Ok, so you take the book and start across the stone bridge to the entrance of the maze a-"

(Me) -- "Nah."

(Dungeonmaster) -- "What?  You gotta go!  The clock's ticking!"

(Me) -- "Doesn't matter.  I take out that Luck Blade I've been carrying around in a Bag of Holding.  I've never used any of the 3 wishes left on it.

Heroic Me -- "I wish this book to be magically put back in it's place in The Great Library of All Knowledge right now."  There...done...pay up."

(Me) -- "Who's up next?  (Yawn)  What time is it?"