319 - Deranged Killer Mutant Monster Servants, Still A More PC Team Than The Windsor Swastikas, Saturn's Guide To Raising Children, Mr. Brown The Serial Therapist, and "What Rhymes With OCRD?"

11:42 AM Mr. Brown

Aliens with heads so big that their body could never actually support it.

11:51 AM Mr. Blue

Heh

11:51 AM Mr. Silver

Ant monster slaves

"Very similar to your earth ants...much larger of course.  This one is injured, it may be dangerous.  Stay back.  (steps forward) GET BACK!  (monster clobbers him)" 

(Here. Roughly quoted 2 different scenes, turns out - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaK6jbI2_t8 – Mr. Silver)

11:54 AM Mr. Blue

Heh

11:54 AM Mr. Silver

That's what I’d want for a slave race...an unintelligent armored 7' tall beast with claw hands that goes berserk if commanded to back up.

11:54 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

11:55 AM Mr. Silver

And has a multi-faceted eye for the ladies...wrrrrow...

11:55 AM Mr. Brown

High ho Ant-y, AWAY!!!

11:55 AM Mr. Silver

"I'm worried about our monster, honey...he keeps picking me up and carrying me from room to room."

"Aww...he's a pussycat.  He's never clamped a claw through your torso or anything."

"I guess...still, it's weird."

"He just likes you, is all."

"I guess...I'm just thinking about Gladys."

"Gladys Smith?  Too bad about her.  They never did solve those killings, did they? What about her?"

"Well...before IT happened, she told me her monster had taken to carrying her around.  It would even take her all the way out to the caves before putting her down."

"Odd...what happened at the caves?"

"Nothing...he'd just kind of loom over her for a while."

"Loom?"

"You know...just kinda lean over her, claws outstretched.  It never did anything though.  Happened 5 or 6 times."

"Odd.  Their monster was the only one left alive in the house, right?"

"Yeah.  It had an injured foot...stepped on a toy or something, but was otherwise fine.  They found it trying to clean up all the blood."

"Good boy...too bad."

12:15 PM Mr. Silver

I always loved those monster scenes:

The guy in the 40 lb costume struggling across the wilderness carrying the screaming girl and hoping it doesn't fall apart as she kicks, only to find a cave, set her down, and essentially do nothing but stand there...looming...while she screams on the ground.

I was making a game and that was one of the rules for female characters: Can't be harmed by monsters if they choose to lay down and scream.

12:16 PM Mr. Brown

In most cases the costume won't bend down, so being on the floor would be the safest place.

12:17 PM Mr. Silver

Good point.

The monsters are never fast either, yet they outrace the heroes hustling through the brush and trees.

12:18 PM Mr. Brown

She trips and fall 6 times and it didn't catch her, then in the next scene she takes two steps and it is in front of her.

12:20 PM Mr. Blue

Mr. Pink thinks "funnier" isn't a word.

12:21 PM Mr. Silver

Mr. Pink thinks Boba Fett isn't a popular character, ET was more popular than Star Wars, and didn't know who Adam and Eve were.

The man is an alien.

Mr. Silver

Snerk

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_North_Dakota_men%27s_ice_hockey

The team has no name.

Mr. Blue

They’re referred to as the Fighting Sioux.

9:13 AM Mr. Blue

Oh I see

9:14 AM Mr. Blue

I didn't know they dropped that.

9:14 AM Mr. Blue

Dartmouth doesn't have a name either.

9:14 AM Mr. Silver

"The Nice and Polite and Misunderstood and Surprisingly Civil and Sophisticated Sioux"

9:15 AM Mr. Blue

Here’s Dartmouth’s "unofficial" mascot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Keggy_the_Keg.JPG

9:16 AM Mr. Silver

Inspired by their training program?

9:16 AM Mr. Blue

Heh

6:56 AM Mr. Brown

War of the Medicine Taking last night.

Lets say there was a peace agreement with partial medicine taken, and I was Rambo.

6:57 AM Mr. Silver

Rambo? An "everyone else is dead" kind of peace, then.

6:58 AM Mr. Brown

I dumped the stuff down his throat after an hour of negotiation and fighting.

He gagged and spit it all over himself and me, and all was just a mess.

6:58 AM Mr. Silver

Good lad...went down fighting.

6:58 AM Mr. Brown

Why does it seem like the dad is always the one that has to do the actual fighting?

What if I want to be the one hugging him? LOL

6:59 AM Mr. Silver

It's your job to impress that you are the one that is always 1 angry confrontation away from killing and eating the boy.

7:00 AM Mr. Brown

"If you don't take this, your dad will make you."

She doesn't like it when I grab him quickly and pick him up and hold him. She thinks I’m being rough.

“Um, he has no bruises and no broken bones. I'm gaining control here. If I wanted to break him I would.”

LOL

So that line you wrote above: “1 confrontation away from eating the boy”?

LOL

7:17 AM Mr. Silver

Subject so far: Your position as the household member whose authority level is the one who can kill and eat the kids.  Discuss.

(We didn't – Mr. Silver)

Mr. Brown

I have a question for you guys. is there a reason you can think of as to why my friends would consider me, like, the therapist ?

9:12 AM Mr. Silver

Yes.

Next question?

9:13 AM Mr. Brown

They always seem to come to me.

What should I do?

Why does this happen?

9:13 AM Mr. Silver

As a shaman, I can tell you "It's a shaman thing".

At least you are not at the point where total strangers can pick you out and start asking you stuff.

9:15 AM Mr. Blue

I used to get that when I was younger.

Strangers would come up and start talking to me about their problems.

9:15 AM Mr. Silver

"I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"(I do) Go on."

9:15 AM Mr. Blue

I think people just like venting to a stranger.

9:16 AM Mr. Silver

Some do, yes.

Tarzan does.

(Neighbor...runs/ran a lot in his youth in small shorts and no shirt with hair as long as...Tarzan.)

He's a psychic vampire.

Give him one chance and he will latch on and complain and mope for half an hour.

9:18 AM Mr. Brown

I had long hair once.

9:18 AM Mr. Silver

Lost the box it was in?

Anyway, there is a quality of aloofness and poise, I think, coupled with how one expresses himself, that says "this one knows things/is a healer" to people at a subconscious level.

There is also the simple fact that the vast majority of people aren't thinkers and theorists.

Of the ones that are, most are not vocal about it.

You, Mr. Brown, are clearly a thinker/theorist, and are vocal.  You show no fear in putting your thoughts out there, and are articulate.  Your friends see that.

All these things in combination single you out. 

They are also one reason you are in this little group.

9:27 AM Mr. Brown

Yes, my ADHD is a great tool. lol

9:39 AM Mr. Silver

@Mr. Blue - So you used to get jumped, huh?

I made myself less accessible after lifting my curse.

I spent enough years as a miserable dysfunctional for trying to help people.  Bah humbug

9:41 AM Mr. Blue

I think part of it is people putting out a fishing line, and I bite instead of just saying "wow that's neat" and walking away or ignoring them.

9:42 AM Mr. Silver

Tarzan is certainly one of those fishing types.

I'll wave at range but not say Hi to him now.

"Sorry, I've got kids on the stove.  Later."

I still get trapped a couple times a year.

Mr. Silver

Mr. Brown...did your OCD barf on the rhymes at the beginning of the “fun pack” email too?

9:14 AM Mr. Brown

I did not look at the email yet.

9:16 AM Mr. Brown

They did not rhyme enough.

If this is a chant over a cauldron, they need to rhyme better.

9:16 AM Mr. Silver

“Roses are red...violets are blue...I like suspense...”

...

...

...

(Mr. Brown) "AUGH!!!"

9:16 AM Mr. Silver

Just look at this thing!

“Boil your brain and enchant your eyes,

“If you turn in your packet, you could win the prize!

“They are located on the downstairs break room table!

…

…

…

(Me) “And we can't think of anything that rhymes with table!!!”

9:18 AM Mr. Brown

Boil your brain?

Well then I wouldn’t be able to enchant my eyes then.

9:33 AM Mr. Green

OMG.... they are REALLY dumb today...

9:34 AM Mr. Silver

Yup

318 - "Seems To Me You'd Stop And See How Evil They All Are", Ghost Pepper Junkys, Casino Yelps, Does A Silver Chilver On Mount Blorenge Eat Oranges?, Big Oil Is Full Of Gas, and Worlds Bestest Telscpe

10:09 AM Mr. Brown

I didn't know Danny Kaye did The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

10:11 AM Mr. Silver

Yes...saw it once I believe...ages ago though.

I only have little flashes of memories about it.

10:12 AM Mr. Brown

I’m not sure if I saw that one. I saw the new version.

10:12 AM Mr. Silver

How was it?

10:13 AM Mr. Brown

I liked it.

10:17 AM Mr. Brown

Ok, I thought I saw a “Hans Christian Andersen” movie with him, and I had.

10:19 AM Mr. Silver

I saw that once, yeah.

10:20 AM Mr. Brown

I just kept remembering a picture in my head of Danny sitting on a rock with bunch of kids around him.

So I looked up pictures for the movie and there it was.

LOL

10:22 AM Mr. Silver

"The Inchworm"...one of the proofs that kids chanting can be a little creepy

I like the song, but the times tables in the background are a little unnerving.

10:25 AM Mr. Silver

(chanting) "2 and 2 are 4...4 and 4 are 8...S-8-an 8 your soul...16 and 16 are one of us..."

(Here: The Inchworm - Mr. Silver)

Mr. Brown

So I refused the ghost pepper jerky this year.

It was a very good idea. No day of suffering.

11:26 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah... I'm not into that kind of self-abuse.

11:29 AM Mr. Brown

For some people it really does not hurt.

11:29 AM Mr. Blue

But it's not pleasant. It doesn't taste good.

11:33 AM Mr. Silver

We move onto McDonald's food now?

Oh...peppers.

11:34 AM Mr. Brown

Actually, I believe the peppers have flavor but then you are hit with the spice.

11:34 AM Mr. Silver

Right before the bio-weapons grade acid kicks in, yes.

11:35 AM Mr. Brown

If you remove some of the spice from a ghost pepper, I’m sure it has a great flavor.

11:35 AM Mr. Blue

And?

My point is that ghost peppers aren't pleasant to the senses to like 99.9% of the people that are eating them, so what's the point?

11:36 AM Mr. Brown

Endorphins.

11:36 AM Mr. Silver

Yup.

11:36 AM Mr. Blue

So go for a sprint.

11:36 AM Mr. Silver

It's a drug thing.

Me, I like hooch at the risk of a bit of a headache.  I don't like acid with the guarantee of fire guts.

11:37 AM Mr. Blue

I prefer exercise... better long-term consequences.

11:39 AM Mr. Silver

Like chiropracty and cartilage deterioration.

Mr. Blue

Wow... Yelp reviews for casinos... There's some winners.

"Grzegorz S - 2 months ago - ONE OF THE EMPLOYERS SEXUALLY ABUSED ME ... FILING CHARGES”

3:23 PM Mr. Silver

Nice review

"What casino was it?"

"Copper Felix's Loose Goose"

(likes that...notes)

7:33 AM Mr. Brown

Are you hearing the discussion over here, Mr. Silver?

7:33 AM Mr. Silver

Of course.

7:33 AM Mr. Brown

Why IS an orange orange? LOL

7:34 AM Mr. Silver

Botanically or linguistically?

Well, it isn't in every language.

Which came first...orange or orange...that's a decent question. (begins looking)

7:39 AM Mr. Silver

Goes way back, looks like...Sanskrit.

7:40 AM Mr. Brown

Right.

I still go with my thought that somebody called it orange somewhere, and someone else thought they were naming the fruit “orange”.

lol

7:40 AM Mr. Silver

"Same color as an orange, dude."

7:41 AM Mr. Brown

Right.

It's a chicken and the egg scenario.

7:45 AM Mr. Silver

Maybe...10 minutes of research only goes so far.

"Hey Mr. Patel...what's that round yellow fruit called?"

"Oh, those are new.  Naranj."

"An arange?"

"Naranj"

"I see...and that's n'apple..."

"Funny."

"Naranj...naranj...I can't think of any words that rhyme with naranj."

"Hmm...gotta be some though..."

Mr. Brown

I just got gas this morning. Its freaking $3.19 a gallon.

How did it get that low?

7:27 AM Mr. Silver

Well...the industry is producing a surplus and claims to soon be reaching "critical break even points".

Because after millions of years of not going bad, no one could ever indefinitely store and dole out crude oil at any flow rate they want or anything...

7:28 AM Mr. Brown

They need to stop taxing gas.

Its only hurting things.

7:33 AM Mr. Silver

Stop taxing gas?  

Madness!

Considering these companies pay no corporate taxes and get subsidies from the government, how are they supposed to get by in this world without our tax money to supplement their huge profits? We NEED those fuel taxes so Big Oil can be paid twice and not give any money back to support the country!

Be realistic, man!

7:34 AM Mr. Brown

I’m talking about the state taxes on gas.

7:36 AM Mr. Silver

Perhaps.  

But remember you have your depletion credits for fossil fuel producers...can't forget those...I see them on my business tax forms every year.

Both federal and state.

See, first you find out how much you pulled out...

Then you make up an unverifiable number guessing how much you might have left...

Then you get another big credit based on your made up number.

It's all legal.

Every other industry in the United States gets… wait… sorry… NO other industry in the United States gets that.

Gas could probably be $1.20 per gallon and they'd still make a bunch of money.

Just recently the frackers and their 'centuries of fuel' started scrambling to take the words back.  "Oh, we recalculated and we're sure we'll run out a lot sooner."  Gotta prime those subsidy/tax gift pumps early, you know. 

I recall when Big Oil hurt the ailing US economy by inflating the price near to $4/gallon based on spurious claims at the beginning of the Obama administration. It was just them being pissed off for losing, in my opinion. And they were rich, so why not fuck things up more by sabotaging the economy more than their 8-year failure boy had already done, to make the new responsible government look bad before the next round of elections? (which worked) My suggestion was an executive order setting gas at $2.

8:04 AM Mr. Brown

Yes.

8:04 AM Mr. Silver

Assuming #1 - It's Big Oil...they'll find a way to make money, believe me.

And #2 - The huge energy cost break would stimulate the hell out of everything else.

And accomplishing #3 – Fucking them right back for their sabotage.

8:05 AM Mr. Brown

I can tell you the standpoint of my father-in-law. He is the general manager at (store).

He says when the gas prices go up, his sales go way down. Happens every time.

So yes, to truly help the economy, make it easier to get fuel to drive to places to spend money on products and services. People will have extra money to do it because most of it will not go to gas anymore.

LOL

8:10 AM Mr. Silver

Nod

(Note, as of this morning it's $2.71, probably still falling, and the Russian economy is apparently collapsing because of it...I never thought I'd ever see numbers like that again in my lifetime. "Critical break even points!  Any minute now!  We can't go on much longer without disaster!  We swear!"  Yawn... – Mr. Silver)

Mr. Blue

There's a new space telescope scheduled for 2018. The James Webb something-or-other.

7 times more powerful than Hubble. Will be able to spot water on planets. Will be beyond the moon's orbit.

9:21 AM Mr. Brown

So is it on its way there now, or they are launching it in 2018?

9:21 AM Mr. Blue

Launching in 2018

But funding is complete, and most of the parts are built or in production.

9:33 AM Mr. Silver

(NASA rep) "We're just waiting on the last $1.35 for a bottle of Elmer's."

"That's all?"

"Yup...plenty of popsicle sticks waiting."

"I can give you 2 bucks right now."

9:34 AM Mr. Blue

(engineer) "The elbow macaroni mosaic is already setting, sir."

9:34 AM Mr. Silver

"You can't. No private money is allowed. Oh yes...the macaroni issues...congress was hung up for months on that. We're glad that's over with.”

“And this the glitter you'll be sprinkling on?”

“That's right.”

9:39 AM Mr. Silver

(looks at pictures of new satellite) The "World's Best Space Telescope" in fingerpaint worked out pretty well.

To be fair...it's really bunched up at the edge of the panel and looks like 'Telscp', but it's cute. NASA's mom will love it.